If You Love Her Enough

 　　My friend John always has something to tell me. He knows so much that young men have to have older and more worldly wise men to tell them. For instance¹ who to trust, how to care for others, and how to live life to the fullest.

　　Recently, John lost his wife Janet. For eight years she fought against cancer, but in the end her sickness had the last word.

　　One day John took out a folded piece of paper from his wallet. He had found it, so he told me, when he tidied up some drawers at home. It was a small love letter Janet had written. The note could look like a school girl's scrawls² about her dream guy. All that was missing³ was a drawing of a heart with the names John and Janet written in it. But the small letter was written by a woman who had had seven children; a woman who fought for her life and who probably only had a few months left to live.

　　It was also a beautiful recipe for how to keep a marriage together.

　　Janet's description of her husband begins thus: "Loved me. Took care of me. Worried about me."

　　Even though John always had a ready answer, he never joked about cancer apparently⁴. Sometimes he came home in the evening to find Janet in the middle of one of those depressions cancer patients so often get. In no time he got her into the car and drove her to her favourite restaurant.

　　He showed consideration for her, and she knew it. You cannot hide something for someone who knows better.

　　"Helped me when I was ill," the next line reads. Perhaps Janet wrote this while the cancer was in one of the horrible and wonderful lulls⁵. Where everything is -- almost -- as it used to be, before the sickness broke out, and where it doesn't hurt to hope that everything is over, maybe forever.

　　"Forgave me a lot."

　　"Stood by my side."

　　And a piece of good advice for everyone who looks on giving constructive⁶ criticism⁷ as a kind of sacred duty: "Always praising."

　　"Made sure I had everything I needed," she goes on to write.

　　After that she has turned over the paper and added: "Warmth. Humour. Kindness. Thougtfulness." And then she writes about the husband she has lived with and loved the most of her life: "Always there for me when I needed you."

　　The last words she wrote sum up all the others. I can see her for me whe she adds thoughtfully⁸: "Good friend."

　　I stand beside John now, and cannot even pretend to know how it feels to lose someone who is as close to me as Janet was to him. I need to hear what he has to say much more than he needs to talk.

　　"John," I ask. "How do you stick together with someone through 38 years -- not to mention the sickness? How do I know if I can bear to stand by my wife's side if she becomes sick one day?"

　　"You can," he says quietly. "If you love her enough, you can."

1 instance   

n.例，例证，实例

参考例句：

• Can you quote me a recent instance?你能给我举一个最近的例子吗？
• He's a greedy boy,yesterday,for instance,he ate all our biscuits!他是个贪吃的孩子――比如，他昨天把我们的饼干都吃了！

2 scrawls   

潦草的笔迹( scrawl的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• He scrawls, and no one can recognize what he writes. 他写字像鬼画符，没人能认出来。

3 missing   

adj.遗失的，缺少的，失踪的

参考例句：

• Check the tools and see if anything is missing.检点一下工具，看有无丢失。
• All the others are here;he's the only one missing.别人都来了，就短他一个。

4 apparently   

adv.显然地；表面上，似乎

参考例句：

• An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
• He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。

5 lulls   

n.间歇期（lull的复数形式）vt.使镇静，使安静（lull的第三人称单数形式）

参考例句：

• It puts our children to sleep and lulls us into a calm, dreamlike state. 摇晃能让孩子进入梦乡，也能将我们引人一种平静的、梦幻般的心境。 来自互联网
• There were also comedy acts, impromptu skits, and DJ music to fill the lulls between acts. 也有充满在行为之间的间歇的喜剧行为，即兴之作若干，和DJ音乐。 来自互联网

6 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。

7 criticism   

n.批评，批判，指责；评论，评论文章

参考例句：

• Some youth today do not allow any criticism at all.现在有些年轻人根本指责不得。
• It is wrong to turn a deaf ear to other's criticism.对别人的批评充耳不闻是错误的。

8 thoughtfully   

ad.考虑周到地

参考例句：

• She rubbed her chin thoughtfully. 她若有所思地抚摩着下巴。
• The man pulled thoughtfully at his pipe before commenting on our proposal. 那人若有所思地吸了口烟，然后就我们的建议发表自己的见解。