The Art of Forgiveness

 　　To forgive may be divine, but no one ever said it was easy. When someone has deeply hurt you, it can be extremely difficult to let go of your grudge¹. But forgiveness is possible -- and it can be surprisingly beneficial to your physical and mental health.

　　"People who forgive show less depression, anger and stress and more hopefulness," says Frederic, Ph.D., author of Forgive for Good. "So it can help save on the wear and tear on our organs, reduce the wearing out of the immune system and allow people to feel more vital."

　　So how do you start the healing? Try following these steps:

　　Calm yourself. To defuse your anger, try a simple stress-management technique. "Take a couple of breaths and think of something that gives you pleasure: a beautiful scene in nature, someone you love," Frederic says.

　　Don't wait for an apology. "Many times the person who hurt you has no intention of apologizing," Frederic says. "They may have wanted to hurt you or they just don't see things the same way. So if you wait for people to apologize, you could be waiting an awfully² long time." Keep in mind that forgiveness does not necessarily mean reconciliation³ with the person who upset you or condoning⁴ of his or her action.

　　Take the control away from your offender⁵. Mentally replaying your hurt gives power to the person who caused you pain. "Instead of focusing on your wounded feelings, learn to look for the love, beauty and kindness around you," Frederic says.

　　Try to see things from the other person's perspective. If you empathize with that person, you may realize that he or she was acting⁶ out of ignorance, fear -- even love. To gain perspective, you may want to write a letter to yourself from your offender's point of view.

　　Recognize the benefits of forgiveness. Research has shown that people who forgive report more energy, better appetite and better sleep patterns.

　　Don't forget to forgive yourself. "For some people, forgiving themselves is the biggest challenge," Frederic says. "But it can rob you of your self-confidence if you don't do it."

1 grudge   

n.不满，怨恨，妒嫉；vt.勉强给，不情愿做

参考例句：

• I grudge paying so much for such inferior goods.我不愿花这么多钱买次品。
• I do not grudge him his success.我不嫉妒他的成功。

2 awfully   

adv.可怕地，非常地，极端地

参考例句：

• Agriculture was awfully neglected in the past.过去农业遭到严重忽视。
• I've been feeling awfully bad about it.对这我一直感到很难受。

3 reconciliation   

n.和解，和谐，一致

参考例句：

• He was taken up with the reconciliation of husband and wife.他忙于做夫妻间的调解工作。
• Their handshake appeared to be a gesture of reconciliation.他们的握手似乎是和解的表示。

4 condoning   

v.容忍，宽恕，原谅( condone的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• I'm not condoning what he did, all right? 我并不是宽恕他的所作所为，好吗？ 来自电影对白
• Communist Party conservatives abhor the idea of condoning explicIt'sex. 党内的保守势力痛恨对赤裸性爱内容的宽容。 来自互联网

5 offender   

n.冒犯者，违反者，犯罪者

参考例句：

• They all sued out a pardon for an offender.他们请求法院赦免一名罪犯。
• The authorities often know that sex offenders will attack again when they are released.当局一般都知道性犯罪者在获释后往往会再次犯案。

6 acting   

n.演戏，行为，假装；adj.代理的，临时的，演出用的

参考例句：

• Ignore her,she's just acting.别理她，她只是假装的。
• During the seventies,her acting career was in eclipse.在七十年代，她的表演生涯黯然失色。