美国国家公共电台 NPR--Safia Elhillo takes a leap in new poems, writes about shame and the body

Safia Elhillo takes a leap in new poems, writes about shame and the body

Transcript¹

Poet Safia Elhillo never used to write about her body. She felt safer writing poems that pointed² the reader's gaze away from herself.

"Up until this point, I only knew how to write a neat, tidy and well-behaved book of poems," the 31-year-old poet says.

Elhillo is the author of a poetry collection and a novel in verse. She also has co-edited a poetry anthology, won several awards, and has had her work translated into several languages.

Still, she says she used to follow a firm set of rules with her writing.

"The idea was that if it was not something I was going to talk about, I wasn't going to write a poem about it."

But in her latest book of poems, to be published on July 12, Elhillo takes that leap. It's called Girls That Never Die, in which she writes about the shame and violence that often comes with being a woman.

The poet arrived at this shift a few years ago. It was 2017. Her first book of poems The January Children had just come out, and the poet was starting to gain attention.

"And I was having a really terrible time on the internet just as a woman," she says. "I wasn't saying much; I was just existing on the internet as one does. And I would just receive the most disgusting DMs, like day-in and day-out."

It was mostly men sending her these messages. And some of them were just like Elhillo – they were Muslim, Sudanese and spoke³ Arabic.

In wanting to speak truthfully about her experience, Elhillo is not trying to perpetuate⁴ harmful ideas about her own community. Instead, she says the book is for her community.

"And for a long time I thought it would just be easier to not say anything at all," she says. "... but my silence will not protect me, and it will not protect my community either."

The poet started writing these new poems from a space of frustration⁵ and anger. She says she was mourning all of the years she had lost to the belief that she could "play and win this purity game."

"That if only I was the correct kind of Muslim woman and polite enough and well-behaved enough, then nobody would hate me and nobody would want to do me harm," she says.

So she started writing more freely. Where she'd normally written about the diaspora, nationhood, or language, she was now writing about her body and desire.

"This book is for my homegirls," she says of Girls That Never Die. "It's for my sisters, for my siblings⁶, and it's for myself."

Here's an excerpt⁷ from her poem "Ode to My Homegirls", first published in BOMB:

An excerpt from Safia Elhillo's poem "Ode to my Homegirls," first published in BOMB.

Penguin⁸ Random⁹ House

Amidst moments of personal trauma¹⁰. Elhillo writes of harmful family traditions, honor killings¹¹ and genital mutilation. Her poems dig deep into how shame is passed down generations of women. She says there's danger in this silence.

Here's an excerpt from her poem "1000" –

i am disappeared      like all the girls

before me    around me 

all the girls to come             

everyone thinks

i am a little girl & still

they hunt me               still they show their teeth        

i am so tired i am

one thousand  years old          one thousand

years older when touched

This tiredness Elhillo writes about is the weight of silence itself.

"I wanted to make a record of having started a conversation with myself," she says. "To maybe just work on my little corner of this big culture of silence so many of us grew up in."

With these conversations comes power. And the title of Elhillo's new book sings of the autonomy she imagines for her girls.

"The threat of death and the fear of death – those are so often used to govern and to control," she says. "So if the girls never die, if the girls won't die, maybe they're free from that governance and from that control. And then what could that look like?" Girls That Never Die answers that question.

1 transcript   

n.抄本，誊本，副本，肄业证书

参考例句：

• A transcript of the tapes was presented as evidence in court.一份录音带的文字本作为证据被呈交法庭。
• They wouldn't let me have a transcript of the interview.他们拒绝给我一份采访的文字整理稿。

2 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

3 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

4 perpetuate   

v.使永存，使永记不忘

参考例句：

• This monument was built to perpetuate the memory of the national hero.这个纪念碑建造的意义在于纪念民族英雄永垂不朽。
• We must perpetuate the system.我们必须将此制度永久保持。

5 frustration   

n.挫折，失败，失效，落空

参考例句：

• He had to fight back tears of frustration.他不得不强忍住失意的泪水。
• He beat his hands on the steering wheel in frustration.他沮丧地用手打了几下方向盘。

6 siblings   

n.兄弟，姐妹( sibling的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• A triplet sleeps amongst its two siblings. 一个三胞胎睡在其两个同胞之间。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• She has no way of tracking the donor or her half-siblings down. 她没办法找到那个捐精者或她的兄弟姐妹。 来自时文部分

7 excerpt   

n.摘录，选录，节录

参考例句：

• This is an excerpt from a novel.这是一部小说的摘录。
• Can you excerpt something from the newspaper? 你能从报纸上选录些东西吗？

8 penguin   

n.企鹅

参考例句：

• The penguin is a flightless bird.企鹅是一种不会飞的鸟。
• He walked with an awkward gait like a penguin.他走路的步子难看得就像企鹅。

9 random   

adj.随机的；任意的；n.偶然的(或随便的)行动

参考例句：

• The list is arranged in a random order.名单排列不分先后。
• On random inspection the meat was found to be bad.经抽查，发现肉变质了。

10 trauma   

n.外伤，精神创伤

参考例句：

• Counselling is helping him work through this trauma.心理辅导正帮助他面对痛苦。
• The phobia may have its root in a childhood trauma.恐惧症可能源于童年时期的创伤。

11 killings   

谋杀( killing的名词复数 )； 突然发大财，暴发

参考例句：

• His statement was seen as an allusion to the recent drug-related killings. 他的声明被视为暗指最近与毒品有关的多起凶杀案。
• The government issued a statement condemning the killings. 政府发表声明谴责这些凶杀事件。