2007年NPR美国国家公共电台二月-There Is No Blame; There Is Only Love

Welcome to This I Believe, and NPR series presenting the personal philosophies of remarkable¹ men and women from all walks of life.

I believe in figuring out my own way to do things.
I believe in the power of numbers.
I believe in barbecue.
Well, I believe in friendliness².
I believe in mankind.

This I Believe. On Mondays we bring you our series This I Believe. And today a retried school psychologist tells a painful story about love. Here's our series curator Jay Alison.

In the essays we received there was often an exchange of belief between generations. Writers discribe // their parents is the source of their conviction and parents write of the beliefs they've required in raising their children. But sometimes that acquisition is painful as it was for Ann Karasinski. Here she is with her essay for This I Believe.

You don't expect your child to grow up to be a heroin³ addict⁴. From the moment of her birth you have hopes and dreams about the future. But they never include heroin addiction⁵. That couldn't happen to your child. Because addiction is the result of the bad environment, bad parenting. There is most definitely someone or something to blame. That's what I used to believe. But after I failed to rehab in long periods of separation form my heroin-addicted⁶ daughter, after years of holding my breath waiting for another relapse. I now believe there is no blame.

After Katie admitted her addiction, I struggled to understand how this could have happened to my daughter, a bright, beautiful, talented and most importantly loved young woman. When the initial shock were off, I analyzed⁷ and inventoried⁸ all the whys and hows of Katie's addiction. I searched for someone or something to blame. I blamed her friends, I blamed her dad, I blamed our divorce. But mostly I blamed myself. My desperate heart convinced me that I should have prevented Katie's addiction and that given another chance I could correct my mistakes.

When Katie came home form rehab I approached each day with the zeal⁹ of a drill sergeant¹⁰. I championed the 12-step program and monitored her improvement daily. As though curing heroin addiction was as simple as nursing a cold. I drove her to therapy sessions and AA meetings. I controlled everything and left nothing to chance. But in spite of my efforts, Katie didn't get better. She left my home, lost again to the powerful grip of addiction.

In the long days, weeks and months that followed, I gathered bits and pieces of old beliefs and tried to assemble them into something whole. Sometimes I gave up and sometimes I simply let go. Gradually, my search for blame changed to a longing¹¹ for hope. I comforted myself with the only thing that still connected me to my daughter---love. I thought about Katie every day and I missed her. I cried and worried about her safety and whereabouts. I wrote letters I knew she'd never see. Sometimes I woke up panickied in the middle of the night, certain that my mother's intuition was preparing me for something bad. But through it all, I loved her. I don't know why or how my daughter became addicted to heroin. I do know that it doesn't really matter. Life goes on and Katie is still my daughter.

Katie and I meet for breakfast on Friday mornings now. we drink coffee and talk, I don't try to heal her, I just love her. Sometimes there is pain and sorrow, but there is no blame. I believe there is only love.

Ann Karasinski with her essay for This I Believe. Karasinski's daughter Kate is in recovery now and is not using drugs. Ann showed her this essay and Kate said maybe someday she'd like to write one, too. All invite you to do so to find out more and see what others have written, visit our website NPR. Org. For This I Believe I'm Jay Alison.

This I Believe continues next Monday on NPR, all things considered with an essay about tradition.

Support for This I Believe comes from Kampala University.

This I Believe is produced for NPR by This I Believe incorporator Atlantic Public Media. For more essays in the series please visit NPR.org slash¹² This I Believe.

Support for NPR part cast comes from Accra featuring the completely redesigned 300 horsepower MDX. More information is available at Acura. com.

1 remarkable   

adj.显著的，异常的，非凡的，值得注意的

参考例句：

• She has made remarkable headway in her writing skills.她在写作技巧方面有了长足进步。
• These cars are remarkable for the quietness of their engines.这些汽车因发动机没有噪音而不同凡响。

2 friendliness   

n.友谊，亲切，亲密

参考例句：

• Behind the mask of friendliness,I know he really dislikes me.在友善的面具后面，我知道他其实并不喜欢我。
• His manner was a blend of friendliness and respect.他的态度友善且毕恭毕敬。

3 heroin   

n.海洛因

参考例句：

• Customs have made their biggest ever seizure of heroin.海关查获了有史以来最大的一批海洛因。
• Heroin has been smuggled out by sea.海洛因已从海上偷运出境。

4 addict   

v.使沉溺；使上瘾；n.沉溺于不良嗜好的人

参考例句：

• He became gambling addict,and lost all his possessions.他习染上了赌博，最终输掉了全部家产。
• He assisted a drug addict to escape from drug but failed firstly.一开始他帮助一个吸毒者戒毒但失败了。

5 addiction   

n.上瘾入迷，嗜好

参考例句：

• He stole money from his parents to feed his addiction.他从父母那儿偷钱以满足自己的嗜好。
• Areas of drug dealing are hellholes of addiction,poverty and murder.贩卖毒品的地区往往是吸毒上瘾、贫困和发生谋杀的地方。

6 addicted   

adj.沉溺于....的，对...上瘾的

参考例句：

• He was addicted to heroin at the age of 17.他17岁的时候对海洛因上了瘾。
• She's become addicted to love stories.她迷上了爱情小说。

7 analyzed   

v.分析( analyze的过去式和过去分词 )；分解；解释；对…进行心理分析

参考例句：

• The doctors analyzed the blood sample for anemia. 医生们分析了贫血的血样。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• The young man did not analyze the process of his captivation and enrapturement, for love to him was a mystery and could not be analyzed. 这年轻人没有分析自己蛊惑著迷的过程，因为对他来说，爱是个不可分析的迷。 来自《简明英汉词典》

8 inventoried   

vt.编制…的目录（inventory的过去式与过去分词形式）

参考例句：

• These items have not been inventoried yet. 这些物品尚未编入目录。 来自互联网
• The broker inventoried the bankrupt company and offered the buyer a reasonable price. 代理人将这家破产公司的财产编录清单，向买家提出了合理的价格。 来自互联网

9 zeal   

n.热心，热情，热忱

参考例句：

• Revolutionary zeal caught them up,and they joined the army.革命热情激励他们，于是他们从军了。
• They worked with great zeal to finish the project.他们热情高涨地工作，以期完成这个项目。

10 sergeant   

n.警官，中士

参考例句：

• His elder brother is a sergeant.他哥哥是个警官。
• How many stripes are there on the sleeve of a sergeant?陆军中士的袖子上有多少条纹？

11 longing   

n.（for）渴望

参考例句：

• Hearing the tune again sent waves of longing through her.再次听到那首曲子使她胸中充满了渴望。
• His heart burned with longing for revenge.他心中燃烧着急欲复仇的怒火。

12 slash   

vi.大幅度削减；vt.猛砍，尖锐抨击，大幅减少；n.猛砍，斜线，长切口，衣衩

参考例句：

• The shop plans to slash fur prices after Spring Festival.该店计划在春节之后把皮货降价。
• Don't slash your horse in that cruel way.不要那样残忍地鞭打你的马。