A brief meeting between a young man and his birth father reveals long-hidden truths about both

Time now for StoryCorps. People across the country are sharing personal stories through this national project. Today a young man talks about meeting his biological father. Nick Shepard was 19 when he first learned his birth father's name. He soon googled that name on the internet and discovered that the man was a teacher in Glasgow, Scotland. Turns out Nick was getting ready to visit Glasgow. Here he tells his friend Hugh Ryan about the trip.

I woke up the morning after I got to Glasgow and I decided to just go to the university to look around,(uh-hum) see what I thought. I had the address written down for my biological father. And I went there. I looked down the hallway, and I saw a sign with his name. Finally, I just said, this is probably the only chance in my life I will ever have to do this. (I) walked up to the door and I knocked. And he looked at me with a look that was not quite hostile but impatient.

I said: “Do you have a minute?” He said: “Sure.” And I said:” Do you remember living in Connecticut 20 years ago? ”And he got this kind of odd smile on his face and said: “Yes, I remember it.” I said:“ Well, do you remember a relationship with a woman named Eloise that you had?” And he says: “Yes, yes, I do.” And I said: “Well, ah, I'm the result of that relationship.” And he says:“Ah…”

Walks over towards me and I had this panic that he’s going to touch me, but he doesn't. He walks past me and he closes the door and walks back and sits down at the table where I'm seated and he says: “So, you're here.” And I said:“Yeah.” And I told him that I had 3 questions that I wanted to ask him. He said:“Sure.”And I said, first, I wanted to know if there is any history of diseases or, or things that I needed to be aware of genetically, just to get that base line out of the way.

And he said:“No, not that I know of it.” And then I asked him if he would be willing to, just explain a little about the circumstances surrounding my birth, and how it came to be that I was born. And he laughed for the first time and only time over the course of our 15-minute conversation, the grin left his face.

And eventually, he said: “Well, I think that at that point, Eloise was ready to have a child.” I said: And you weren’t?” And he laughed and said: “No, never was, never have been.” He didn't really offer me anything more.

Did you ask your third question?

Yeah, I looked that room in it for a minute then I asked my third question which was :“May I take a picture of you?”I had a little disposable camera. Took a picture of him. And that was that. It ended with me saying: “oh, well, I don’t wanna take up too much of your time. And I said, good bye!” And he turned to walk back towards his computer and he says:“Good bye for now!”

I don't know if I'll ever contact him, if I will ever want him to be a part of my life in any way. But for now, I don't. And so, I walked back to this park in Glasgow, back towards the place where I was staying. And I felt that I made a peace with a part of myself that I never expected that I never even thought possible.

Nick Shepard with his friend Hugh Ryan at StoryCorps in New York. This interview will be archived along with all the others at the American Folk Life Center at the Library of Congress. Hear more of them and subscribe to the StoryCoprs Podcast at NPR.org.

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