Jason: No paper again this morning! Maggie: That's five days in a row. Jason: And more importantly that's two Dollars I'm deducting from next months bill. Maggie: What, no interest? Jason: Two Dollars and fourteen Cents. Maggie: Who are you calling?...
Jason: Alright, well, that's our session for today. I'll be remodeling this office, so next week we'll be at another address, OK? Patient: A real office, huh? Jason: This is a real office Mr. Lapepki, I do real work here. Jason: Now, I'm not saying...
Patient: All I'm saying is, that if my wife, the woman that I cherish, thinks getting a job is more important than our marriage, let her die. Jason: Mr. Lapepki, think for just a moment, isn't this woman the same person you married ten years ago. Pa...
Receptionist: Mike Seaver! Mike: Here's my number then. Auditioner: Hello, Mike. Mike: Oh, hi, very nice to meet you. Auditioner: Are those prop books? Mike: Err...oh, oh, no. See, I go to Alf Landen Junior College. In fact that's where I'm supposed...
Jason: Mike! Mike! Mike! If you're in there, things'll go easier on you, if you come out now! But not much! You know, I stupidly assumed that it would be impossible for you to get in trouble, with your high school principle two years after you gradu...
Ken: So, what we have is a stock, which should yield significant profits, Dr. Seaver. Jason: Please, call me Jason. Ken: But, I also have to tell you that all stocks can go down, Jason. Grandma: Son, Ken handles all of our investments; we swear by h...
Jason: Make breakfast, make coffee, wake up! Better wake up first. Oh. I made breakfast? Did I make coffee? I did. Wonder what else I've done this morning? Mike: Hey! Good morning, Dad. Jason: Hey, Mike, you're up. Mike: Yeah. Jason: I've over-slept...
Carol: Is that the mail man? Was that the mail man leaving? Mike: What! Not even a hello, for your dear sweet brother? Carol: Hello! Was that the mail man leaving? Mike: Carol, your lack in sincerity wounds me. Carol: Mike, where's the stinking mail...
Maggie: Oh Jason, don't you have a tissue? For me. Mike: I thought you guys said that Julie and I were rushing into this. Julie: Where'd you get an idea like that? Priest: Dearly beloved... Mike: I do. Priest: ...we are gathered together today, to w...
Mike: I got something I'd like to say. Grandma: Go ahead Mike. Mike: First I'd like to thank Mom and Dad and...and Grandma Erma and Grandpa Wally, for showing us all how great love and marriage really can be. And, I've also got kind of a surprise fo...
