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2011年ESL之就医和人际交往 01 Disliking a Sibling’s Boyfriend/Girlfriend

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01 Disliking a Sibling’s Boyfriend/Girlfriend

GLOSSARY

to get that impression – to understand or perceive something in a particularway, usually when contrasting one’s own understanding or perception with that ofanother person

* - This is going to be the best course ever!

* - Really? I didn’t get that impression. I think it’s going to be boring.

what (someone) sees in (someone) – the things that attract one person toanother person; the things that one person admires or respects in another person

* What does Troy see in Hilda? She’s one of the rudest people I’ve ever met, buthe seems to like her a lot.

to make a good impression – to do or say things that make another person likeoneself and think good things about oneself

* During the interview, you can make a good impression by offering a firmhandshake, sitting up straight, and looking into the interviewer’s eyes.

to compliment (someone) – to say something nice; to make someone feel goodabout a particular characteristic or action

* Shane was pleasantly surprised when a stranger on the bus complimented himon his haircut.

eager – excited and enthusiastic; ready to do something and looking forward to it

* We are really eager to see the new movie. We already have tickets for the firstshowing this weekend.

clingy – needing and depending on someone too much, trying to spend a lot oftime with that person and touching him or her all the time

* Is it normal for a child to be so clingy, always holding onto her mother’s leg?

to speak for (someone) – to answer questions that are directed at anotherperson, not giving that person time to answer the questions by himself or herself

* Why do you let your boss speak for you during the meetings? You need tolearn to present your own ideas.

to finish (one’s) sentence – to interrupt another person in the middle of asentence and say the rest of it for him or her

* Sean and Ryan are identical twins who always finish each other’s sentences.

annoying – irritating; making one feel uncomfortable and slightly angry

* It’s so annoying to hear people talking on their cell phones in restaurants!

to count – to be important; to matter; to be relevant

* Our good intentions don’t count if we don’t act on them.

attentive – paying attention to another person and trying to meet his or herneeds

* All of the nurses in this small hospital are attentive and ready to do anything tomake patients more comfortable.

there’s (something) and there’s (something) – an informal phrase used toshow a strong contrast or difference between two things

* There’s pride and there’s arrogance. I don’t think Jim knows the difference.

to smother – to pay so much attention to someone that he or she feels unable tobreathe or do things on their own

* Scott is embarrassed by the way his mother smothers him with kisses whenshe drops him off at school.

possessive – wanting to have or own something or someone, without sharing itwith other people

* Don’t touch anything in her room! She’s really possessive and doesn’t like itwhen other people touch her things.

methinks the (lady/gentleman) doth protest too much – a phrase misquotedfrom Shakespeare’s play, Hamlet, meaning that someone is denying something,but that the denial actually shows that the thing is really true (the actual quote is“The lady doth protest too much, methinks.”)

* Nancy keeps saying she doesn’t want to go out with Patrick, but methinks thelady doth protest too much.

too (much of something) for (one’s) own good – so much of something that itbecomes a bad thing and creates problems for someone

* You’re too nice for your own good, saying ‘yes’ to anyone who asks you for afavor. Other people are starting to take advantage of you.

shame on (someone) – a phrase used to make someone feel bad aboutsomething he or she has said or done

* Shame on you! What you said really hurt his feelings.

passion – strong feelings, opinions, and/or emotions

* Trent and his wife share a passion for good food and wine.

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Why does Andy say, “I don’t know what Brian sees in her”?

a) He doesn’t understand what Brian likes about her.

b) He doesn’t understand why Brian thinks she’s pretty.

c) He doesn’t understand how Brian can know her feelings.

2. What did Carla say about Georgia’s cooking?

a) She said she had never tasted food like that before.

b) She said it was very good food.

c) She said it was the same type of food served in restaurants.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

clingy

The word “clingy,” in this podcast, means needing and depending on someonetoo much, trying to spend a lot of time with that person and touching him or herall the time: “In the days immediately after the earthquake, Wanda was moreclingy than usual, probably because she was scared.” If clothing is “clingy,” itstays very close to one’s body, revealing its shape: “You’d have to have a perfectbody to wear such a clingy dress.” Finally, the phrase “to cling to (something)”

means to continue to believe or have something even though it is no longerhelpful, useful, or true: “Even though there’s no scientific proof, many peoplecling to the belief that there is life on other planets.”

to count

In this podcast, the verb “to count” means to be important and relevant, or tomatter: “Your first kiss doesn’t count if it was with a relative.” The phrase “tocount (one’s) blessings” is used to tell someone to be grateful for the things he orshe has: “You have a house, a loving wife, and three beautiful children. Youshould count your blessings and stop complaining about unimportant things.”

The phrase “to count sheep” refers to the practice of trying to fall asleep byimagining sheep jumping over a fence and counting them: “She has tried drinkingwarm milk, taking sleeping pills, and counting sheep, but she still isn’t able to fallasleep at night.” Finally, the phrase “to count on (someone or something)”

means to rely or depend on someone or something: “Don’t worry about it. Youcan count on me!”

CULTURE NOTE

In the United States, “siblings” (brothers and sisters) are expected to love eachother, but also to fight with each other and have many arguments. This isn’tnecessarily because they don’t like each other. Most researchers agree thatsibling rivalries “arise” (appear; happen) because siblings are competing for theirparents’ attention and love.

American literature, television, and movies “are filled with” (have many) “siblingrivalries” (tense relationships between brothers and sisters). For example, onepopular television show, The Simpsons, is often about the sibling rivalry betweenBart and Lisa. Episodes of Malcolm in the Middle and Rugrats are also oftenabout sibling rivalry. And episodes of The Brady Bunch are often about siblingrivalry among the “step-siblings” (brothers and sisters who are in the same familybecause their parents remarried after their birth).

Most people “grow out of” (are no longer interested in something as adults) theirsibling rivalries by the time they are adults, often developing close relationshipswith their siblings. But some television shows explore sibling rivalries thatcontinue even when the siblings are adults, such as Ross and Monica in Friends,and Frasier and Niles in Frasier. In these shows, the characters “appear” (seem)“quite” (very) childish when they are involved in sibling rivalries, but it is funny.

Some “real-life” (happening to real people; not made up for TV or movies) siblingrivalries are talked about in the media, especially in sports and entertainment.

For example, there are tennis stars Venus and Serena Williams, musiciansMichael and Janet Jackson, and musicians and actresses Britney and JamieLynn Spears. It is possible that having media attention “exacerbates” (makesstronger or worse) these sibling rivalries.

______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – a; 2 – b

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 649: Disliking aSibling’s Boyfriend or Girlfriend.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 649. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website – you know what it is – is eslpod.com. Go there to download aLearning Guide for this episode, which will help you improve your English – andyour love life!

This episode is all about love and hate. It’s called “Disliking (or not liking) aSibling’s (that is, brother or sister’s) Boyfriend or Girlfriend.” Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Georgia: So I thought Carla was nice.

Andy: You did? I didn’t get that impression at all. I don’t know what Brian seesin her.

Georgia: Really? I thought she was really trying to make a good impression.

Andy: Yeah, she was trying too hard. She laughed too loudly at my jokes andcomplimented you too much on your cooking.

Georgia: Maybe she was a little too eager, but that just shows that she reallylikes our brother. What’s wrong with that?

Andy: Nothing is wrong with that, but did you see how clingy she was? Shewouldn’t leave Brian’s side for a minute, spoke for him, and finished hissentences. I just found that really annoying.

Georgia: Brian didn’t seem to mind and that’s what really counts. Maybe helikes having an attentive girlfriend.

Andy: There’s attentive and there’s smothering. She just seemed reallypossessive, that’s all.

Georgia: Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.

Andy: What do you mean by that?

Georgia: I think you might like Carla a little too much for your own good. Shameon you, being interested in your own brother’s girlfriend.

Andy: Are you crazy?! Didn’t I just tell you that I didn’t like her at all?

Georgia: Yes, but you said it with such passion!

[end of dialogue]

Georgia says to Andy, her brother, “So I thought Carla was nice.” Andy issurprised, he says, “You did? I didn’t get that impression at all.” “To get animpression” means to understand a situation in a particular way, usually differentfrom the way someone else understood the situation. You and your friend couldhave a conversation with someone, and then later the two of you talk about thatconversation and each of you had a very different view about what happened;you didn’t get the same impression. Andy says, “I don’t know what Brian sees inher.” When we talk about what someone “sees in” someone else, we mean whatare the things that the one person likes about the other, what are the things thatthey are attracted to in the other person. Now, Brian is the brother of Andy andGeorgia, and Brian’s girlfriend is named Carla. So, Andy doesn’t like Carla; hedoesn’t see what Brian sees in her.

Georgia says, “Really? I thought she was really trying to make a goodimpression.” “To make a good impression” – that word again, “impression” –means to do or say things that will make another person like you, and will sayand think good things about you. There’s an old expression: “You only have onechance to make a first impression.” That is, there’s only one opportunity forsomeone to meet you for the first time, logically, so you always want to presentyourself well.

Georgia thought that Carla was trying to make a good impression. Andy says,“Yeah, she was trying too hard (too much). She laughed too loudly at my jokes(that is, she laughed more than she should have) and complimented you toomuch on your cooking.” “To compliment” (compliment) means to say somethingnice to make someone feel good about some action that they did. A husbandshould always compliment his wife on her beautiful face, on her hair, on hershoes – even if he doesn’t notice that they are new shoes that she just boughtlast weekend, and would have no way of knowing that they were new becausehe doesn’t normally look at her shoes for example!

Andy says that Carla is trying too hard. Georgia says, “Maybe she was a littletoo eager (eager).” “To be eager” means to be excited about something, reallylooking forward to doing something. “The students were eager to go to lunch.”

They really wanted to eat and get out of the terrible math class they were in orsomething. Well, Georgia says that Carla was a little too eager, “but that justshows that she really likes our brother. What’s wrong with that?” Andy says,“Nothing is wrong with that (that’s okay), but did you see how clingy she was?”

“Clingy” (clingy) means that a person depends on someone else too much; theywant to spend all of their time with them. Sometimes when you get a newboyfriend or a new girlfriend one person wants to spend more time with the other– calling her day and night, wanting to be with her all the time – so that you mightthink the person is being clingy. They’re trying to be too close and too dependenton the other person. “Clingy” has a couple of different meanings in English, andthose are found in the Learning Guide.

Andy says, “She (meaning Carla) wouldn’t leave Brian’s side for a minute.”

“Brian’s side” meaning she wouldn’t leave Brian. She spoke for him, and shefinished his sentences. “To speak for (someone)” is to answer questions thatsomeone else is asking that person. So, someone will ask a question of Brianbut Brian doesn’t respond; Carla gives the answer. That’s to speak for someone.

You can also speak for someone in the sense that you have the authority to givesomeone else’s opinion about a topic who isn’t there. But in this case, it’s justCarla answering questions that people are asking Brian. She also finishes hissentences. This is when you are talking and before you finish your sentence theperson you’re talking to, right in the middle, will interrupt you – will finish thesentence for you. That can be very annoying! Andy says, “I just found that reallyannoying,” meaning irritating, makes you sort of angry – a little angry.

Georgia does not agree; she says, “Brian didn’t seem to mind (meaning it didn’tbother him) and that’s what really counts (meaning that’s what’s reallyimportant).” “Count” has a couple of other meanings in English; you can findthose, well, in the Learning Guide. Georgia says that maybe Brian likes to havean attentive girlfriend. Someone who is “attentive” pays attention to the otherperson, tries to do what that other person wants or needs.

Of course, Andy does not agree. He says, “There’s attentive and there’ssmothering.” There are a couple of things here. “To smother” (smother) meansto pay too much attention to someone, so that the person doesn’t feel they canbe free. Literally, you can use the verb “to smother” to kill someone, usually byputting a piece of clothing in their face so they can’t breathe, or a pillow. If youever read Shakespeare’s Othello, this is what happens to one of the main characters. If you haven’t, of course, I won’t tell you the rest of the story! Here,“smother” just means that the person doesn’t feel free, feels the other person isbeing too attentive. Andy says, “There’s attentive and there’s smothering.” Thisconstruction, “there’s (something) and there’s (something else),” is an informalway to show that two things are very different, that there is a big contrastbetween them. Andy says that Carla just seemed really possessive.” Someonewho is “possessive” wants to have something and no one else can have it, noone else can share it.

Georgia thinks now that there is some other reason why Andy doesn’t like – orsays he doesn’t like Carla. She then uses, speaking of Shakespeare, a famousline partially from Shakespeare, from the play Hamlet: “Methinks the gentlemandoth protest too much.” “Methinks” is an old English way of saying “I think,” noone says that anymore. “Doth” is an old form of “does.” “To protest” means toargue against something. The original expression was “The lady doth protest toomuch, methinks,” but the more common usage is to put “methinks” first.

“Methinks the (in this case) gentlemen (since Andy is a man) doth protest toomuch.” Well, what does this mean? It means that someone is denyingsomething. They’re saying they don’t like something, but in fact they really dolike someone or something. So, that you try to pretend that you don’t like thisperson or this thing when the reality is – when in fact you like that person verymuch but you don’t want anyone else to know about it.

Andy says, “What do you mean by that?” Georgia says, “I think you might likeCarla a little too much for your own good.” The expression “too much for yourown good” means that you have so much of something that it becomes a badthing. If you like candy that’s great, but if you eat two pounds of candy a day,that’s too much for your own good. In this case, Georgia thinks that Andy reallylikes Carla, likes her in a romantic way. She says, “Shame on you, beinginterested in your own brother’s girlfriend.” The expression “shame on you,” or“shame on Andy,” is used to make someone feel bad about something they havesaid or done. “Shame on you for criticizing your grandmothers cooking.” Youshould never do that, shame on you!

Well, Georgia is saying shame on you, Andy, because she thinks Andy actuallylikes Carla and would like Carla to be, I guess, his girlfriend – assuming hedoesn’t have a girlfriend. Of course, Andy denies this – doesn’t agree withGeorgia. He says, “Are you crazy?! Didn’t I just tell you that I didn’t like her at all(not even a little bit)?” Georgia says, “Yes, but you said it with such passion(passion)!” “Passion” is a strong emotion, a strong feeling, a strong opinion oftenabout a romantic interest. So, Georgia is saying yes, you said you don’t like her,but you said it in such a way that makes me think that you really do like her.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialogue]

Georgia: So I thought Carla was nice.

Andy: You did? I didn’t get that impression at all. I don’t know what Brian seesin her.

Georgia: Really? I thought she was really trying to make a good impression.

Andy: Yeah, she was trying too hard. She laughed too loudly at my jokes andcomplimented you too much on your cooking.

Georgia: Maybe she was a little too eager, but that just shows that she reallylikes our brother. What’s wrong with that?

Andy: Nothing is wrong with that, but did you see how clingy she was? Shewouldn’t leave Brian’s side for a minute, spoke for him, and finished hissentences. I just found that really annoying.

Georgia: Brian didn’t seem to mind and that’s what really counts. Maybe helikes having an attentive girlfriend.

Andy: There’s attentive and there’s smothering. She just seemed reallypossessive, that’s all.

Georgia: Methinks the gentleman doth protest too much.

Andy: What do you mean by that?

Georgia: I think you might like Carla a little too much for your own good. Shameon you, being interested in your own brother’s girlfriend.

Andy: Are you crazy?! Didn’t I just tell you that I didn’t like her at all?

Georgia: Yes, but you said it with such passion!

[end of dialogue]

We don’t compliment our scriptwriter enough here on ESL Podcast, so thank youLucy Tse – Dr. Lucy Tse, for your wonderful scripts.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Comeback and listen to us again on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan, copyright 2011 by the Center for EducationalDevelopment.

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