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2011年ESL之就医和人际交往 09 Roles Within a Family

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09 Roles Within a Family

GLOSSARY

to fit right in – to become part of a group, usually because one has many thingsin common with the other members; to be welcomed in a warm, friendly way intoa group of people

* If you enjoy playing chess, you’ll fit right in with the school’s Chess Club.

matriarch – the female leader of a family or of a larger group of people; the olderwoman who controls a family or group

* Everyone gathers in the matriarch’s house for important holidays.

black sheep – someone who is a failure and an embarrassment to relatives

* Everyone else in the family is a doctor, lawyer, scientist, or engineer, but poorRicky has always been the black sheep, never having success in any of his work.

to let on – to let someone know something; to give some indication of what oneis thinking or feeling

* Sakuhiro has been undergoing chemotherapy for weeks, but he never lets onthat he’s in pain.

prodigal son – a son who spends a lot of money and does things the familydoes not approve of, but later returns to the family and is welcomed with love

* Their family refers to the oldest child as the prodigal son, because he traveledinternationally for several years and spent all of his inheritance, but then cameback older and wiser.

rebellious – referring to someone who does not want to accept authority, followthe rules, or do what one is supposed to do or what one is told to do

* In-Young was very rebellious as a teenager and never did anything his parentswanted him to do.

eccentric – with very strange, unusual ideas and behaviors, very different fromthose of other people

* Professor Maser is a little eccentric, always wearing a top hat and a bowtie, andrefusing to shake hands with anyone.

to steer clear of – to stay away from someone or something; to not interact withsomeone or something

* The doctor said that we should be able to avoid stomach problems by steeringclear of spicy food.

baby – the youngest child; the youngest sibling

* Now that their baby is about to graduate from high school, they’re trying toprepare to live alone, without their children.

to come in – to be included in something; to be considered as a part ofsomething

* You’ve talked a lot about how the decision will affect you, but where do yourhusband’s feelings come in?

middle child – the second of three children in a family; a person who has oneolder sibling and one younger sibling

* As a middle child, Jean-Marie never felt he received enough attention from hisparents.

scapegoat – a person who is blamed for problems or bad things that happen,especially when he or she did not really cause it

* Wayne was fired after profits fell, but it wasn’t really his fault. The companyused him as a scapegoat.

patriarch – the male leader of a family or of a larger group of people; the olderman who controls a family or group

* When Grandpa Schmidt passes away, who will become the new familypatriarch?

impressed – affected or influenced in a particular way by what one has seen,heard, or experienced, usually in a positive way

* Wow! I’m really impressed by how quickly you’ve learned the language!

lion’s den – a scary, intimidating place where there is some danger, but onemust go there anyway

* Participating in a panel interview often feels like entering the lion’s den.

famous last words – a phrase used to express one’s disbelief or disagreementwith what another person has just said

* - This old bridge is safe. Nothing bad can happen if we use it.

* - Famous last words!

COMPREHENSION QUESTIONS

1. Why is Uncle Nick called the black sheep?

a) Because he always wears black clothing.

b) Because he’s always sleepy.

c) Because he’s an embarrassment to the family.

2. What does Larissa mean when she says, “I’ll be sure to steer clear of UncleNick”?

a) She’ll speak very loudly when talking to him.

b) She won’t ask him about his past.

c) She’ll try not to talk to him.

______________

WHAT ELSE DOES IT MEAN?

to let on

The phrase “to let on,” in this podcast, means to let someone know something, orto give an indication of one’s thoughts or feelings: “Even though her marriagewas falling apart, she never let on at work, so none of her co-workers knew whatwas happening until she filed for divorce.” The phrase “to let (someone) down”

means to disappoint someone, usually by not doing something: “He wassupposed to meet us here at 3:00 to help us move, but he really let us down.”

The phrase “to let (someone) down gently” means to give someone bad news inthe nicest way possible: “When you break up with her, please let her downgently.” Finally, the phrase “to let (one’s) hair down” means to relax and havefun: “After working really hard for the past two months, we’re all ready to takesome vacation and let our hair down.”

baby

In this podcast, the word “baby” means the youngest child or the youngest siblingin a family: “Even though Egret is 56 years old, his mother still talks about ‘herbaby’.” The word “baby” is also used as a term of affection for someone whomone loves: “Baby, do you want to see a movie tonight?” Some people use theword “baby” to refer to someone who is acting in a silly, childish way: “Don’t besuch a baby! The power went out, but there’s nothing to be afraid of.” Finally,the word “baby” can be used to describe vegetables that are eaten when they aremuch smaller than normal: “He always eats a couple baby carrots with his lunch.”

Or, “This baby asparagus is so tender and delicious!”

CULTURE NOTE

The Ideal Family and the White Picket FenceWhat’s the “ideal” (best; what one wants to have) American family? In the past,many people would answer that question by talking about a “middle-class”

(average, not rich or poor) house with a “white picket fence.” This was symbolicof the ideal American family lifestyle, and although it isn’t necessarily still theideal today, the “symbolism” (what an image or picture means) is still strong.

A “picket fence” is a type of fence made from many vertical “boards” (flat piecesof wood) that are separated by a small distance, connected with one horizontalpiece of wood at the top and one horizontal piece of wood at the bottom. Eachvertical piece points upward, ending with an arrow-like point. Picket fences arenormally used in “residential” (housing) areas, sometimes around gardens oryards. Traditionally, they are painted white.

A middle-class house with a white picket fence is usually thought of as being inthe “suburbs” (a residential area outside of the city, but not in a rural area). Theideal home with a white picket fence is large and painted white, and has a bigyard with a green “well-manicured” (cut and well maintained) “lawn” (grassy area)where the kids can “run around” (play with a lot of movement). The old idealAmerican family also had two well-behaved kids, preferably one boy and one girl,and a dog.

Old television shows like Leave It to Beaver “portrayed” (showed) this idealAmerican family and home. More modern television shows are more likely tofocus on “dysfunctional” (not working property) American families.

______________

Comprehension Questions Correct Answers: 1 – c; 2 – c

COMPLETE TRANSCRIPT

Welcome to English as a Second Language Podcast number 686: Roles Within aFamily.

This is English as a Second Language Podcast episode 686. I’m your host, Dr.

Jeff McQuillan, coming to you from the Center for Educational Development inbeautiful Los Angeles, California.

Our website is eslpod.com. Go there and download a Learning Guide today.

This episode is called “Roles Within a Family.” It’s a dialogue between Larissaand Vince talking about different vocabulary related to people in your family.

Let’s get started.

[start of dialogue]

Larissa: I’m really nervous about meeting your family.

Vince: You don’t need to be. They’ll love you and you’ll fit right in.

Larissa: Okay, but I want to make sure I know everyone I’ll be meeting. YourGrandmother Celine is the matriarch of the family and your Uncle Nick is theblack sheep of the family, is that right?

Vince: That’s right, but none of us let on that Uncle Nick is considered theprodigal son. He was really rebellious when he was young and left home whenhe was 17. He came back 15 years later, but nobody really knows whathappened during that time. He’s always been a little eccentric.

Larissa: I’ll be sure to steer clear of Uncle Nick, in that case. Let’s see, you toldme that he is the oldest and your Aunt Sue is the baby of the family. Where doesyour Aunt Lily come in?

Vince: She’s the middle child and is always the scapegoat for anything that goeswrong. At least that’s what my grandfather has told me all these years.

Larissa: That’s your Grandfather Albert, the patriarch of the family, right?

Vince: Yes, you’ve got it. I’m impressed you remembered so much about myfamily.

Larissa: If I’m walking into the lion’s den, then I want to be prepared.

Vince: Don’t think of it that way. They’re all going to love you.

Larissa: Famous last words!

[end of dialogue]

Our dialogue begins with Larissa saying to Vince, “I’m really nervous aboutmeeting your family.” Perhaps Larissa and Vince are boyfriend and girlfriend,and Larissa is meeting his family for the first time. Vince says, “You don’t needto be,” meaning you shouldn’t be nervous, there’s no reason to. “They’ll love youand you’ll fit right in.” “To fit in,” or “to fit right in,” means to become part of agroup, usually because you have something in common. You share somethingwith other members, maybe an interest or you just have a similar personality toother people. That’s what Vince is saying, that Larissa will fit right in with hisfamily; they’ll be comfortable with her.

Larissa says, “Okay, but I want to make sure I know everyone I’ll be meeting.”

She wants to know who all the people are that she’s going to meet. She says,“Your Grandmother Celine is the matriarch of the family.” A “matriarch”

(matriarch) is the female leader or head of a family, or perhaps a family thatincludes uncles and aunts and cousins and grandchildren, a large group ofpeople who are related. The oldest woman in that set of relationships would bethe matriarch. “Uncle Nick,” she says, “is the black sheep of the family, is thatright?” The expression “black sheep,” like the animal sheep, refers to someonewho is considered different than the rest of the family. We think about sheep asnormally being white; well, the black sheep is the different one, the one whodoesn’t quite fit in, if you will, with the rest of the members, maybe because theyhave done something wrong, maybe they have been a failure. It’s often used asa negative description of someone. Every family seems to have a black sheep; Iknow our family does. I won’t say who that person is, however, maybe they’relistening!

Vince says, “That’s right, but none of us let on that Uncle Nick is considered theprodigal son.” He says, “none of us let on.” “To let on” means to let someoneknow that you know something or to let someone know what you’re thinking orwhat you’re feeling. “I didn’t let on that I was very much attracted to the girlsitting next to me,” I didn’t indicate that in any way – and of course, I never wouldbecause I’m married! So, that’s the phrasal verb “to let on.” “Let” has a couple ofdifferent meanings, and you can find those in the Learning Guide for thisepisode. I should also mention that you will notice that we treat “none” here as a plural noun, not a singular noun. We say “none of us let on” rather than “none ofus lets on.” There’s a debate about that in English usage; currently both formsseem to be acceptable. Traditionally, “none” was only considered singular, butthe language changes and so we change along with it.

Continuing on here, Vince says that none of us let on that Uncle Nick isconsidered the prodigal son. Someone who is “prodigal” (prodigal) is someonewho spends a lot of money and does things that the family doesn’t approve of.

However, the expression “prodigal son,” or “prodigal daughter” would bepossible, refers to a story from the Christian Bible, the story that Jesus tells abouta man who leaves his family, goes to another place, spends all of his money, andthen, when he’s poor, returns to his family, and his father forgives him andwelcomes him back into the family. So, when Vince refers to his Uncle Nick asthe “prodigal son,” he’s emphasizing probably more of the negative aspects of hisuncle going and spending a lot of money, living a life the family didn’t approve of,but there’s also an idea that he has come back to the family. He says his UncleNick “was really rebellious when he was young.” “To be rebellious” means to notaccept authority; someone who doesn’t follow the rules is someone who isrebellious. Vince says that when Uncle Nick was young he left home when hewas just 17 years old. “He came back 15 years later, but nobody really knowswhat happened during that time. He’s always been a little eccentric.” “Eccentric”

(eccentric) is someone who’s a little strange, a little unusual, someone who hasvery different ideas and possibly behaviors from other people around them.

Larissa says, “I’ll be sure to steer clear of Uncle Nick, in that case.” “To steer”

(steer) is a verb that we use to indicate how you are directing a car or a bicycle.

You can steer the car to the left or to the right or straight. In fact, we call theround wheel in a car a “steering wheel,” it comes from this verb “to steer.” “Tosteer clear” means I’m not going to go anywhere near that person or thatsituation. In this case, Larissa is going to steer clear of Uncle Nick; she’s goingto stay away from Uncle Nick. Then she says, “Let’s see, you told me that UncleNick is the oldest and your Aunt Sue is the baby of the family.” Here, “baby”

doesn’t refer to a small child under the age of one or two, it refers to the youngestperson. I, for example, am the baby of my family; I am the youngest. And ofcourse, everyone knows that the youngest is always treated badly – alwaysdiscriminated against. The older brothers and sisters don’t like the baby of thefamily; the baby of the family doesn’t really get anything from his parents, andthat, of course, was my experience growing up. So, always feel sorry for thebaby of family! So, Vince’s Aunt Sue is the youngest or baby of the family. Thenshe asks, “Where does your Aunt Lily come in?” “To come in” here means to beincluded; really, it means what position or what place is Aunt Lily – is she themiddle child, is she the third child, the fourth child, and so forth.

Vince says, “She is the middle child and is always the scapegoat for anythingthat goes wrong.” The “middle child” would be the second of three children, orthe third of five children. The term, more generally however, refers to someonewho is not the oldest and not the youngest, someone in between or in the middle.

Vince says that Aunt Lily is always the scapegoat for anything that goes wrong.

A “scapegoat” (one word) is a person who is blamed for problems or bad thingsthat happen, especially when that person is not actually responsible. Thatperson didn’t do anything wrong, but people say that he or she did; they blamehim or her. This dialogue was written by a middle child, who, of course, thinksthat that’s the reason that she was a scapegoat. So, you have to understand alittle bit about the writer here. Vince says, “At least that’s what my grandfathertold me all these years,” meaning my entire life, for all of this time. Hisgrandfather told him that the middle child was always the scapegoat, someonewho is unfairly or unjustly blamed.

Larissa says, “That’s your Grandfather Albert, the patriarch of the family, right?”

“Patriarch” is the male – the oldest male leader of a family, just like “matriarch”

would be the oldest female member of the family. Vince says, “Yes, you’ve gotit,” meaning yes, you understand, you are correct. He says, “I’m impressed youremembered so much about my family.” “To be impressed” means that you havea very positive evaluation of someone else, or you are very positively affected orinfluenced by what you have heard or experienced. Someone says, “Wow, I’mimpressed how good your English is,” that means that they are congratulatingyou really, saying that your English is quite good and I think that that is a goodaccomplishment – a great accomplishment.

Vince is impressed that Larissa remembers all of this about his family. Larissasays, “If I’m walking into the lion’s den, then I want to be prepared.” The “lion’s(lion’s) den (den)” is the place where a lion sleeps or a lion lives. However, theterm is used here to mean a dangerous place, but somewhere that you have togo to anyway. If you’re not careful, you could be injured or hurt by going into thelion’s den. Larissa says that, in effect, going to meet Vince’s family is adangerous situation.

Vince says, “Don’t think of it that way. They’re all going to love you. Larissasays, “Famous last words!” The phrase “famous last words” is used to expressyour disagreement with what the other person just said, especially when youthink that the opposite might happen and that if we just wait a little longer theopposite of that will happen, something bad will happen. For example, if you arenervous about going in someone else’s car because you think the car isn’t safe,and the driver of the car says, “Oh, don’t worry. We won’t have any problems,”

you could say, “Famous last words!” meaning I think there will be a problem.

Why are they your last words? Well, the idea is that you will be killed, theultimate bad thing will happen to you and therefore what that person says will betheir last word because suddenly something bad will happen.

Now let’s listen to the dialogue, this time at a normal speed.

[start of dialogue]

Larissa: I’m really nervous about meeting your family.

Vince: You don’t need to be. They’ll love you and you’ll fit right in.

Larissa: Okay, but I want to make sure I know everyone I’ll be meeting. YourGrandmother Celine is the matriarch of the family and your Uncle Nick is theblack sheep of the family, is that right?

Vince: That’s right, but none of us let on that Uncle Nick is considered theprodigal son. He was really rebellious when he was young and left home whenhe was 17. He came back 15 years later, but nobody really knows whathappened during that time. He’s always been a little eccentric.

Larissa: I’ll be sure to steer clear of Uncle Nick, in that case. Let’s see, you toldme that he is the oldest and your Aunt Sue is the baby of the family. Where doesyour Aunt Lily come in?

Vince: She’s the middle child and is always the scapegoat for anything that goeswrong. At least that’s what my grandfather has told me all these years.

Larissa: That’s your Grandfather Albert, the patriarch of the family, right?

Vince: Yes, you’ve got it. I’m impressed you remembered so much about myfamily.

Larissa: If I’m walking into the lion’s den, then I want to be prepared.

Vince: Don’t think of it that way. They’re all going to love you.

Larissa: Famous last words!

[end of dialogue]

I hope you’re impressed by today’s dialogue. That’s because it’s by ourscriptwriter, the middle child, Dr. Lucy Tse.

From Los Angeles, California, I’m Jeff McQuillan. Thank you for listening. Comeback and listen to us again here on ESL Podcast.

English as a Second Language Podcast is written and produced by Dr. Lucy Tse,hosted by Dr. Jeff McQuillan, copyright 2011 by the Center for EducationalDevelopment.

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