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访谈录 2010-06-01&06-05 解读剩女现象-9

时间:2010-12-14 05:27来源:互联网 提供网友:angel_mei520   字体: [ ]
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Do men get married and do they marry the next person they meet after they finally go "wow, I forgot to get married” They’ve been with somebody who is been wonderful for years and years and years that could be their soul mate and they just weren't ready. And then one day, it seems like they are ready, and the next thing across their path, that's who they married.
My girlfriend Ratin Jones calls she is aboot camp train and heifer, that’s what she is. You go to the boot camp with me, and then you decide, you know, I thought him put a lot of work, then you break up and I will send you to go get married. Is that true?
It wasn't true in my case. I want to give myself together and so that whoever I’ll go partner with, I will be a good partner to them. So it went about, I mean I just made so many mistakes, so many bad choices and I allow myself to be chosen by women that uh, want to encourage me. And I just made some bad choices, so I really, uh, no, not to me, when I got married, no! It wasn't!
Hill?
I think it is true for some men. Uh, and this is how and why I think it's some men get to a point, a maturity1 level and they realize that the way they have been thinking all along about “I gotta get here then add this person was wrong?” So it clicks in them and they realize "Well, nobody I've ever dated is perfect, so the next person I’m gonna date is not perfect either. But I know that I wanna go to this next place in my life, have a family, have a partner, so I must grab2 this next person.” I think it’s not true for every man but I do know I have friends, they basically said that to me. They said "You know what, I am ready, I'm ready to get married." Uh, they could have been, they could have just got out of a 3 or 4 year-old relationship. But they said, you know what, and part of reason that they realize that is that they are in their long relationship, it ends, and they realize I am still exactly where I was. And I still haven't got there, so I must get there with somebody or this next person. They've already created so much baggage with the person before that they knew they couldn't go back there, so they just went forward with someone new.
That's, that's 100% true. Here is the other element to that. Men…a lot women, you are not married because it's not a requirement of yours. It's just simply not. You date a guy for 8, 9, 10 years, what are you doing? So, what, how you let this go down this long? You know, listen to me, we as men, I’m telling you some modals. We get it figured out in 365 days. We know we want you. We already know. We already know of you wife material, once we take you over there to meet Mama, we pretty much to locked in. We can't take nobody to mama and we ain't would like it. We get it figured in 365 days. The marriage has to be a requirement of yours. That…, see, you have to remember this thing right here, the wedding day, the dream of the wedding day is your dream. From the time you were a little girl, you've been hoped to be married one day. It's a dream of what, you pick up the gown, where it is gonna be, how many people, the carriage, the flute3, the doves4, everything. You got bridal shops, bridal magazines, you got wedding clientless, everything. We got a tuxedo5 shot and when we get to win that, we don't take it back. That's how much the wedding day means to us. That's your dream; all we have dreamed about is the woman of our dreams. And we can’t get you, and you don't require the day of your dreams. We were where we need to be. I gotta find a woman who is everything to me and you don't require a date. So now you've been with this man six, seven, eight, nine, ten, twelve, fourteen years and ain't got a ring on your hand on a date. That's because, and please know he loves you, please know he will do for you, but you ain't require no date. Now because the bitterness has built up, now you are break up, now guess what? The next woman come along, she requires a date.
Sherri?
I just, you know, I appreciate being here, I appreciate listening to Jimi and Hill and Steve about the other side of it. I am not ready to go over and take a dip in the snow. Just, yeah, I love my black men, and you know, there is been men that have done me wrong, but I still believe there are many many good black men out there and I’m sitting here, I’m going, I’m here, you know, so I say don't give up. You know, enjoy the journey!
Jacque? What's the solution?
Well, I don't know what the solution is, that was part of the reason that I wanted to be here. Because I think that one of the biggest problems that we have through relationships of black men and black women is lack of communication, I think Hill said right off the back. We do need to talk, we do have misconceptions about each other, and there is a lot of anger and bitterness on both sides. I think women are angry and bitter, many of us, I think a lot of men are angry and bitter, and I think that we do need to have more conversations like this, and try to figure out solutions. We need to move the conversations forward, you know what I mean, because there is a tragedy happening in our community and that's demise6 to the black family. Uh, I keep, I said if we can first talk about this, I think it’s reach epidemic7 of proportions when you look at the numbers of single black women, successful, you know, on their way to becoming successful, it's scary.
What do you learn guys?
I think what I have learnt is what I learnt after writing my book, that, uh, that is important to listen and it's also important to be willing to be free and talk and, we talk about, he was talking about baggage, I think, you have to be with a partner who you are willing, that you trust enough, the two of you can sit and unload each other's baggage and help each other heal. I suppose it’s just to distract8 this baggage around on your back, because this is the weight on the relationship, so I think what I have learnt here is that we can't actually sit down and talk, and we can do so civilly. And I am hoping that other people take this tenor9 of our conversation into their homes, into their bars, or wherever, you know, but this is, this is good.
Hill, you've talked about your concern about the demise of the black family. What's going to stop that?
First of all, I am a very hopeful person. I believe the black is always hopeful. I believe that we can change some part of getting to where we are now is having conversations like this and what changes it is friendship, that's it. Developing friendships with folks across gender10, figuring out ways that we love, support each other. I believe that we as men have to earn, earn a woman's commitment and trust. And women, on the flip11 side, need to understand and listen and really understand men from an open mind and not filter it through the way they believe a relationship should look.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 maturity 47nzh     
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期
参考例句:
  • These plants ought to reach maturity after five years.这些植物五年后就该长成了。
  • This is the period at which the body attains maturity.这是身体发育成熟的时期。
2 grab ef0xd     
vt./n.攫取,抓取;vi.攫取,抓住(at)
参考例句:
  • It is rude to grab a seat.抢占座位是不礼貌的。
  • The thief made a grab at my bag but I pushed him away.贼想抢我的手提包,但被我推开了。
3 flute hj9xH     
n.长笛;v.吹笛
参考例句:
  • He took out his flute, and blew at it.他拿出笛子吹了起来。
  • There is an extensive repertoire of music written for the flute.有很多供长笛演奏的曲目。
4 doves doves     
n.菜包肉末饭(用卷心菜叶包肉末米饭,炖熟食用);鸽( dove的名词复数 );和平的象征
参考例句:
  • The doves winged skyward. 鸽子向空中飞去。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • The doves were cooing in the trees. 鸽子在林中咕咕啼鸣。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
5 tuxedo WKCzh     
n.礼服,无尾礼服
参考例句:
  • Well,you have your own tuxedo.噢,你有自己的燕尾服。
  • Have I told you how amazing you look in this tuxedo?我告诉过你穿这件燕尾服看起来很棒吗?
6 demise Cmazg     
n.死亡;v.让渡,遗赠,转让
参考例句:
  • He praised the union's aims but predicted its early demise.他赞扬协会的目标,但预期这一协会很快会消亡。
  • The war brought about the industry's sudden demise.战争道致这个行业就这么突然垮了。
7 epidemic 5iTzz     
n.流行病;盛行;adj.流行性的,流传极广的
参考例句:
  • That kind of epidemic disease has long been stamped out.那种传染病早已绝迹。
  • The authorities tried to localise the epidemic.当局试图把流行病限制在局部范围。
8 distract ms9xo     
vt.分散注意力,转移注意力,使分心
参考例句:
  • Don't distract my attention.不要分散我的注意力。
  • It was all a ploy to distract attention from his real aims.那纯粹是障眼法,用以分散人们对他真正意图的注意力。
9 tenor LIxza     
n.男高音(歌手),次中音(乐器),要旨,大意
参考例句:
  • The tenor of his speech was that war would come.他讲话的大意是战争将要发生。
  • The four parts in singing are soprano,alto,tenor and bass.唱歌的四个声部是女高音、女低音、男高音和男低音。
10 gender slSyD     
n.(生理上的)性,(名词、代词等的)性
参考例句:
  • French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语,所有的名词都有性。
  • Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。
11 flip Vjwx6     
vt.快速翻动;轻抛;轻拍;n.轻抛;adj.轻浮的
参考例句:
  • I had a quick flip through the book and it looked very interesting.我很快翻阅了一下那本书,看来似乎很有趣。
  • Let's flip a coin to see who pays the bill.咱们来抛硬币决定谁付钱。
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TAG标签:   访谈录  解读剩女现象
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