如何寻找真正的白马王子？

My name's Doctor Belisa Vranich. I'm the Sex & Health editor of Men's Fitness. I'm a clinical psychologist. Women have a lot of questions about relationships. Sometimes they are the same ones. I'm gonna answer your questions about relationships.

You can tell if a guy's interested because of his eye-contact. I know that's really simple, it sounds silly, but if he's making eye contact, he continues to make eye contact. He seems interested, he's giving you the time of date. His body language says "Tell me more, you're so interesting. You are so pretty. He is interested in you.

If you are wanting to say "I love you", and you are not sure it's the right time, it's probably not the right time. If you feel comfortable, and you wanna say "I love you", go right ahead. Try to read signals from him. I mean, are you feeling that he's smitten¹ with you as well? then it's probably a good time.

One thing you can do to keep the spark in relationship is not to compare it to the relationship you had when you first started. Don't try to the get the relationship you had in the beginning. That's unrealistic. One thing that people can do to add the spark to relationship to keep the excitement in a relationship is not to take the other person for granted. Number two is, um, look at things that you have in common, and try to up them a little bit.

One of the most common mistakes in moving in together is doing it because of an emergency, doing it because of an external event. Anything that has to do with an emergency is outside of your relationship. It's probably not a good idea. Because it's not about being together, it's about circumstances. I think living together before you get engaged or married is a good idea. If you are feeling anxious about moving in, and you just say to your boyfriend, "you know what, this is a huge step, I'm a little nervous." Just to have him say, "Yeah, you know what, I was thinking about the other night, it's a really big step." It's incredible how those two sentences and just kinda of commiserating² about what a big step it is, can make, can deflate all the anxiety.

Most women, they come in and wanna talk about their spouse³ cheating, they know that if they bring it up to their significancant other, their significant other is gonna say no. The first thing I do in clinical practices is "look. why, why do you think this is happening. What are the signs that you see? What might this mean? If you are right, what's going to happen? What's the worst case scenario⁴? Is it a one-time indiscretion or you think it's an affair? So really asking all those questions and getting a lot of details is important. Too many women try to give their cheating spouses⁵ a second chance. If you are the only person wanting to work on things, then it's not gonna happen. And too often you have a spouse that just feels bad because he has got caught.

Break-ups are one of the hardest things people have to go through. One of the first things to do with heartbreak is move all the things that reminds you about the relationship away. Now remember this is a definitely breakup where you are not getting back together again. Make it hard for yourself to think about them. One of the things I recommend people do is to completely change their environment, really start pampering⁷ yourself, it's a time that's excruciating. You've just been left, your heart is broken. So do things to pamper⁶ yourself. When you do break up with someone, because your serotonin tends to go down and you can get depressed⁸. Exercising is really hard, you do wanna sit on the couch with the pie of Haagen-Dazs. But if you can gain yourself to exercise, it's the number one thing that'll make you feel better. Be very careful about drinking and dialing or drinking and emailing. Tell, women who are on a break-up or men who're on a break-up ,to be very careful about the music that they listen to. Strangely enough, you can listen to a song or hear a song on the radio, it can send you over the edge. (What) you have to think about is friends, which friends you're gonna keep, which friends are you keeping because their connection between you and he, him. So look over your friends and they'll understand if you need to take a break from them for a little while.

1 smitten   

猛打，重击，打击( smite的过去分词 )

参考例句：

• From the moment they met, he was completely smitten by her. 从一见面的那一刻起，他就完全被她迷住了。
• It was easy to see why she was smitten with him. 她很容易看出为何她为他倾倒。

2 commiserating   

v.怜悯，同情( commiserate的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Tigress, far from commiserating, offered her a loan (repayable later on) to make herself more presentable. 虎妞不但不安慰小福子，反倒愿意帮她的忙：虎妞愿意拿出点资本，教她打扮齐整，挣来钱再还给她。 来自汉英文学 - 骆驼祥子
• Were they commiserating or comparing notes? 他们是在同病相怜还是在合对口供？ 来自电影对白

3 spouse   

n.配偶(指夫或妻)

参考例句：

• Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
• What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么？

4 scenario   

n.剧本，脚本；概要

参考例句：

• But the birth scenario is not completely accurate.然而分娩脚本并非完全准确的。
• This is a totally different scenario.这是完全不同的剧本。

5 spouses   

n.配偶，夫或妻( spouse的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Jobs are available for spouses on campus and in the community. 校园里和社区里有配偶可做的工作。 来自辞典例句
• An astonishing number of spouses-most particularly in the upper-income brackets-have no close notion of their husbands'paychecks. 相当大一部分妇女——特别在高收入阶层——并不很了解他们丈夫的薪金。 来自辞典例句

6 pamper   

v.纵容，过分关怀

参考例句：

• Don't pamper your little daughter.别把你的小女儿娇坏了！
• You need to pamper yourself and let your charm come through.你需要对自己放纵一些来表现你的魅力。

7 pampering   

v.纵容，宠，娇养( pamper的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• But you need to make an appointment because these people are usually very busy pampering pets. 但是你需要先预约，因为这些人通常都在忙于照顾宠物们。 来自超越目标英语 第2册
• He had been pampering, and coaxing, and indulging that individual all his life. 他一生都在姑息、迁就、纵容那家伙。 来自辞典例句

8 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。