访谈录 Interview 2007-01-16&18, 当孩子爱上一个不该爱的人

Well, those be with teenage children probably have seen them go out with somebody that you really didn't care for. If you think your teen is dating a loser or, uh, maybe you just don't approve she be tried some tough love. Well, Early Show correspondent Debbye Turner has some answers, I'm dreading¹ the day as a mother of three children
Your day's coming... He's start dating. Help yourself here, Debbye.

It is a real dilemma², understand that can make or break a parents' relationship with a teenager, one 17-year-old and her mother know this all too well. Teen love can be torture for parents.

When you saw her for the first time, what did you think?

I thought she was adorable.

The first thing that struck me was a smile though. It was huge, just instantly happy from the moment I met him.

The 2 New York teens met on My Space a little more than a year ago. Even Brianna's mother Diana acquired a proof in the beginning, but as time went by, Diana says Brianna's behavior changed, Brianna started hanging out with a different set of friends and...

She cut school one day, she was at Mike's school with him but didn't go to her own school. It was like what's going on with that character for her.

Diana decided³ to forbid Brianna from seeing Mike during the week, and that's when the sparks between these two teen love birds turned into a fireworks between mother and daughter.

How bad has it gone?

It's gotten really really bad, it's gotten to the point where, uh, she ran away, she's called police on me because she doesn't wanna come home.

In fact, Diana's strict rules had almost no effect on Brianna and Mike seeing each other.

Of course us being teenagers, we still found the time to see each other, somehow, someway we did it.

The problem with the prohibition⁴ is that it's going to make the relationship go underground.

According to adolescent psychiatrist⁵ Nina Freund, trying to exert absolute control over a teen is absolutely impossible.

The ways and places and times of the day that one can find to have sex with another individual are infinite. So unless you're gonna be by your child's side all day, everyday, a prohibition is probably doom⁶ to failure.

Teen love that leads to parental⁷ angst is not at all uncommon⁸, in fact, Hollywood has covered the topic.

You are gonna meet a lot guys that you are just with that tired.

There is even a whole show on MTV dedicated⁹ to parents trying to encourage their teens to dump their boyfriends.

But there is one humongous problem, her boyfriend is a putz.

Can a parent control who their teen dates? Probably not that much.

She is dating child.

But what should you do when your teen's heart throb¹⁰ gives you heart burn?

Stop your side of the battle, start to listen and ask a lot of questions.

Questions like what you like about him? What makes you feel that way and how has he been to you and a few boundaries can heard either.

I never did give her a curfew, I never stick on her back, maybe I should have, you know, went that way and I wouldn't be worrying him today.

The most important thing is that you maintained a close and trusting relationship with your child even when you both disagree. As long as that's all you talk about, and as long as you let that be the one thing that makes you so unhappy, your child's not gonna actually talk to you about anything else either.

Of course the nice thing about the teen years is they don't last forever.

I've gone through my older one, so I know already what's going to come. And it's not like I want anyone to tell me you are right, Mum, but I know that's what's gonna happen.

I guess all mothers know that, now experts say that unless there is abuse drugs or other serious issues involved, parents should let their relationship just run its course because let's face it, teens generally change their friends as often as they change hair styles. And Henal, although the experts say don't forbid, you can set boundaries, have the kids over to your house, so we can watch what they are doing.

Check them out

Check them out, baby.

Debbye Turner, thanks.

1 dreading   

v.害怕，恐惧，担心( dread的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• She was dreading having to broach the subject of money to her father. 她正在为不得不向父亲提出钱的事犯愁。
• This was the moment he had been dreading. 这是他一直最担心的时刻。

2 dilemma   

n.困境，进退两难的局面

参考例句：

• I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.这件事使我进退两难。
• He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。

3 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

4 prohibition   

n.禁止；禁令，禁律

参考例句：

• The prohibition against drunken driving will save many lives.禁止酒后开车将会减少许多死亡事故。
• They voted in favour of the prohibition of smoking in public areas.他们投票赞成禁止在公共场所吸烟。

5 psychiatrist   

n.精神病专家；精神病医师

参考例句：

• He went to a psychiatrist about his compulsive gambling.他去看精神科医生治疗不能自拔的赌瘾。
• The psychiatrist corrected him gently.精神病医师彬彬有礼地纠正他。

6 doom   

n.厄运，劫数；v.注定，命定

参考例句：

• The report on our economic situation is full of doom and gloom.这份关于我们经济状况的报告充满了令人绝望和沮丧的调子。
• The dictator met his doom after ten years of rule.独裁者统治了十年终于完蛋了。

7 parental   

adj.父母的；父的；母的

参考例句：

• He encourages parental involvement in the running of school.他鼓励学生家长参与学校的管理。
• Children always revolt against parental disciplines.孩子们总是反抗父母的管束。

8 uncommon   

adj.罕见的，非凡的，不平常的

参考例句：

• Such attitudes were not at all uncommon thirty years ago.这些看法在30年前很常见。
• Phil has uncommon intelligence.菲尔智力超群。

9 dedicated   

adj.一心一意的；献身的；热诚的

参考例句：

• He dedicated his life to the cause of education.他献身于教育事业。
• His whole energies are dedicated to improve the design.他的全部精力都放在改进这项设计上了。

10 throb   

v.震颤，颤动；(急速强烈地)跳动，搏动

参考例句：

• She felt her heart give a great throb.她感到自己的心怦地跳了一下。
• The drums seemed to throb in his ears.阵阵鼓声彷佛在他耳边震响。