英语语法：218 How to Write Clear Sentences

Grammar Girl here.
Today, Julie Wildhaber, who trains writers and editors at Yahoo!, will explain a few strategies for keeping copy compact and for getting rid of deadwood: words and phrases that add length but not value.
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Is Your Prose a Junk Drawer or a Jewel Box?
Good writing is clear and concise¹ and gets to the point. Readers don't want to rummage² through a messy verbal flea³ market to discover one or two sparkly gems⁵ of information.
Front-Load, Organize, and Cut
To help readers find your treasures, front-load, organize, and cut.
First, front-load your copy: Put the most important information where eyes will spot it immediately: in headlines, first paragraphs, and e-mail subject lines.
Second, organize to help readers who skim: Create subheadings, limit paragraphs to a few sentences, and break lengthy⁶ information into lists.
Third, cull⁷ anything that isn't pulling its weight. Start with deadwood: useless verbal underbrush that clutters⁸ your copy and may be hazardous⁹ to your meaning.
Perhaps you've listened to someone who inserts “like” or “you know” in every sentence. That habit is annoying but understandable in conversation, but imagine reading copy peppered with “like”and “you know”: You might conclude that the writer was a few clowns short of a carload. So, to keep your readers' good opinion, which deadwood phrases should you cut?
One-Word Wastes of Space
Look for single-word modifiers that don't enhance your meaning, such as “very,” “really,” “totally,” “quite,” “actually,” “already,” “fairly,” and “much.” You may have seen ads touting¹⁰ a “very unique” product that's “really special” and comes with an “added bonus,” though it may be “currently unavailable.” Words like “very” are unnecessary and frequently redundant¹¹: If something is unique, then by definition it's one-of-a-kind; it can't be “more” one-of-a-kind.
Copywriters insert these words for emphasis, but the result can be less emphatic¹² and effective. For instance, what if this podcast's opening had been:
If you want to write good copy, make it super-clear and very concise and get to the point as quickly as possible.
That's bad, overpadded writing--23 words long, versus¹³ the 11-word original:
Good writing is clear and concise and gets to the point.
“If” Clauses Can Be Iffy
That example brings us to deadwood phrases. Our overpadded sentence opens with an “if” clause that is neither compelling nor compact:
If you want to write good copy, make it clear and concise and get to the point.
We know that Grammar Girl listeners want to write well, so why waffle with “If you want to”? Replace the fluff with an infinitive¹⁴:
To write good copy, make it clear and concise and get to the point.
That's better, but there are still three verbs: “write,” “make,” and “get.” Also, although infinitives¹⁵ are strong openers, “to write” creates an implied subject, “you,” and “you” is not the focus of the sentence; writing is. Ditch the implied subject for an explicit¹⁶ one, and then you can drop a verb, too:
Good writing is clear and concise and gets to the point.
Now that's emphatic and direct. Sentences that start with subject and verb (or verb alone) tend to be the strongest, especially if you slap in a robust¹⁷ active verb. In writing, as in movies and sports, most of us like to skip the preshow and cut to the action.
Other iffy phrases to avoid, wherever they fall in a sentence include “if you wish to,” “if you need to,” “if you're looking for,” “if you would like to,” and (one with no “if”) “in order to.”
Invigorate Your Verbs
Next, examine your verbs. Are your helper verbs truly helping¹⁸? Watch out for constructions such as “you can,” “you can choose to,” “you can decide to,” and “you need to.” Some examples include
You can visit scenic¹⁹ Deadwood by taking the stagecoach²⁰ from Yankton.
You can enjoy whisky and canned peaches at the Gem⁴ Saloon.
You can choose to cross Al Swearengen, but he may decide to sheath his knife in your neck.
If you want to survive smallpox²¹, you will need to get medical care from Calamity²² Jane and Doc Cochran.
Replace those “you” phrases with infinitives, imperatives²³, and other sturdy verbs, or rewrite the sentences:
To visit scenic Deadwood, take the stagecoach from Yankton.
Enjoy whisky and canned peaches at the Gem Saloon.
Cross Al Swearengen and he may sheath his knife in your neck.
To survive smallpox, get medical care from Calamity Jane and Doc Cochran.
Keep an eye on the verb “make” when it's used in constructions such as “make a decision,” “make a correction,” and “make use of.” Here's an example of a bloated sentence:
Seth Bullock will make a decision tomorrow about whether his calling is hardware or law enforcement.
Change “make a decision” to “decide” for a leaner sentence:
Seth Bullock will decide tomorrow whether his calling is hardware or law enforcement.
Summary
Deadwood may seem minor²⁴, but those little words can lengthen²⁵ your sentences and obscure your meaning. Clear out the deadwood, and you'll have copy that is, as the record reviewers say, all killer²⁶, no filler.
The Yahoo! Style Guide
This podcast [article] was written by Julie Wildhaber, one of the minds behind the new book, The Yahoo! Style Guide. Check out Chapter 13 of the book for more ways to tighten²⁷ your text, and visit styleguide.yahoo.com for tips on writing for the Web.
The Grammar Girl podcast is edited and read by Mignon Fogarty, author of the New York Times best-seller Grammar Girl's Quick and Dirty Tips for Better Writing.
 

1 concise   

adj.简洁的，简明的

参考例句：

• The explanation in this dictionary is concise and to the point.这部词典里的释义简明扼要。
• I gave a concise answer about this.我对于此事给了一个简要的答复。

2 rummage   

v./n.翻寻，仔细检查

参考例句：

• He had a good rummage inside the sofa.他把沙发内部彻底搜寻了一翻。
• The old lady began to rummage in her pocket for her spectacles.老太太开始在口袋里摸索，找她的眼镜。

3 flea   

n.跳蚤

参考例句：

• I'll put a flea in his ear if he bothers me once more.如果他再来打扰的话，我就要对他不客气了。
• Hunter has an interest in prowling around a flea market.亨特对逛跳蚤市场很感兴趣。

4 gem   

n.宝石，珠宝；受爱戴的人 [同]jewel

参考例句：

• The gem is beyond my pocket.这颗宝石我可买不起。
• The little gem is worth two thousand dollars.这块小宝石价值两千美元。

5 gems   

growth； economy； management； and customer satisfaction 增长

参考例句：

• a crown studded with gems 镶有宝石的皇冠
• The apt citations and poetic gems have adorned his speeches. 贴切的引语和珠玑般的诗句为他的演说词增添文采。

6 lengthy   

adj.漫长的，冗长的

参考例句：

• We devoted a lengthy and full discussion to this topic.我们对这个题目进行了长时间的充分讨论。
• The professor wrote a lengthy book on Napoleon.教授写了一部有关拿破仑的巨著。

7 cull   

v.拣选；剔除；n.拣出的东西；剔除

参考例句：

• It is usually good practice to cull the poorest prior to field planting.通常在实践上的好方法是在出圃栽植前挑出最弱的苗木。
• Laura was passing around photographs she'd culled from the albums at home.劳拉正在分发她从家里相册中挑选出的相片。

8 clutters   

n.杂物，零乱的东西零乱vt.( clutter的名词复数 )；乱糟糟地堆满，把…弄得很乱；（以…） 塞满…v.杂物，零乱的东西零乱vt.( clutter的第三人称单数 )；乱糟糟地堆满，把…弄得很乱；（以…） 塞满…

参考例句：

• Be cautious with your use of CC; overuse simply clutters inboxes. 也不要随意乱用抄送，不然会造成对方收件箱的混乱。 来自互联网
• None of the proposed Methods: Will effective enough to remove ground clutters. 提出来地方法都不足以排除地面杂波。 来自互联网

9 hazardous   

adj.(有)危险的，冒险的；碰运气的

参考例句：

• These conditions are very hazardous for shipping.这些情况对航海非常不利。
• Everybody said that it was a hazardous investment.大家都说那是一次危险的投资。

10 touting   

v.兜售( tout的现在分词 )；招揽；侦查；探听赛马情报

参考例句：

• He's been touting his novel around publishers for years. 他几年来一直到处找出版商兜售自己的小说。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• Technology industry leaders are touting cars as a hot area for growth. 科技产业领袖吹捧为增长热点地区的汽车。 来自互联网

11 redundant   

adj.多余的，过剩的；(食物)丰富的；被解雇的

参考例句：

• There are too many redundant words in this book.这本书里多余的词太多。
• Nearly all the redundant worker have been absorbed into other departments.几乎所有冗员，都已调往其他部门任职。

12 emphatic   

adj.强调的，着重的；无可置疑的，明显的

参考例句：

• Their reply was too emphatic for anyone to doubt them.他们的回答很坚决，不容有任何人怀疑。
• He was emphatic about the importance of being punctual.他强调严守时间的重要性。

13 versus   

prep.以…为对手，对；与…相比之下

参考例句：

• The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
• The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。

14 infinitive   

n.不定词；adj.不定词的

参考例句：

• The use of the split infinitive is now generally acceptable.分裂不定式的用法现在已被广泛接受。
• Modal verbs generally take the bare infinitive.情态动词通常用不带to的不定式。

15 infinitives   

n.（动词）不定式( infinitive的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Her litmus test for good breeding is whether you split infinitives. 她测试别人是否具有良好教养的标准是看对方是否在不定式的动词前加修饰副词。 来自互联网
• Nouns, adjectives and infinitives can be used as objective complements. 名词，形容词及不定式可用作补语。 来自互联网

16 explicit   

adj.详述的，明确的；坦率的；显然的

参考例句：

• She was quite explicit about why she left.她对自己离去的原因直言不讳。
• He avoids the explicit answer to us.他避免给我们明确的回答。

17 robust   

adj.强壮的，强健的，粗野的，需要体力的，浓的

参考例句：

• She is too tall and robust.她个子太高，身体太壮。
• China wants to keep growth robust to reduce poverty and avoid job losses,AP commented.美联社评论道，中国希望保持经济强势增长，以减少贫困和失业状况。

18 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

19 scenic   

adj.自然景色的，景色优美的

参考例句：

• The scenic beauty of the place entranced the visitors.这里的美丽风光把游客们迷住了。
• The scenic spot is on northwestern outskirts of Beijing.这个风景区位于北京的西北远郊。

20 stagecoach   

n.公共马车

参考例句：

• She's getting off the stagecoach.她正在下马车。
• The stagecoach driver cracked the whip.驿站马车的车夫抽响了鞭子。

21 smallpox   

n.天花

参考例句：

• In 1742 he suffered a fatal attack of smallpox.1742年，他染上了致命的天花。
• Were you vaccinated against smallpox as a child?你小时候打过天花疫苗吗？

22 calamity   

n.灾害，祸患，不幸事件

参考例句：

• Even a greater natural calamity cannot daunt us. 再大的自然灾害也压不垮我们。
• The attack on Pearl Harbor was a crushing calamity.偷袭珍珠港(对美军来说)是一场毁灭性的灾难。

23 imperatives   

n.必要的事( imperative的名词复数 )；祈使语气；必须履行的责任

参考例句：

• Nixon, however, had other imperatives. 但尼克松另有需要。 来自辞典例句
• There could be some cultural imperatives in there somewhere! 在公共传播那里，在某些方面，可能有更迫切的文化需要！ 来自互联网

24 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。

25 lengthen   

vt.使伸长，延长

参考例句：

• He asked the tailor to lengthen his coat.他请裁缝把他的外衣放长些。
• The teacher told her to lengthen her paper out.老师让她把论文加长。

26 killer   

n.杀人者，杀人犯，杀手，屠杀者

参考例句：

• Heart attacks have become Britain's No.1 killer disease.心脏病已成为英国的头号致命疾病。
• The bulk of the evidence points to him as her killer.大量证据证明是他杀死她的。

27 tighten   

v.(使)变紧；(使)绷紧

参考例句：

• Turn the screw to the right to tighten it.向右转动螺钉把它拧紧。
• Some countries tighten monetary policy to avoid inflation.一些国家实行紧缩银根的货币政策，以避免通货膨胀。