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有声名著之简爱Jene Eyer Chapter23

时间:2008-09-24 03:11来源:互联网 提供网友:VIPNike   字体: [ ]
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  CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE My Past Returns
I promised St. John that I would teach at the Morton school until Christmas. Then he could find another teacher. On the last day of school. St. John came to see me as I said goodbye to my students. I was sad to see some of them go.
“Jane, your students have already learned1 so much. And you’ve only worked here for a few months! Just think how good it would be, if you spent your life teaching2!”
“Oh, no, St. John,” I said, “I don’t think I could do it forever. But don’t talk about school now. it’s Christmas time!”
He looked serious. “What are your plans?”
“For the next few days, Hannah and I are going to clean Moor3 House. We’ll get everything ready for Christmas. Everything must be ready for Diana and Mary when they come home next week, for a really wonderful time!”
St. John smiled. “That’s all right for now, but I hope, Jane, that soon you’ll think seriously about ways to use your mind, body and heart in the service of God.”
“St. John, we are all so lucky to be together, and we have so many reasons to be happy this Christmas, Don’t scold4 me!” I said cheerfully5.
That week Hannah and I worked hard, cooking and cleaning. It made us happy to see Diana and Mary’s faces when they saw the beautiful house and warm fires, and all the cakes and Christmas foods we had made.
Diana, Mary, and I had a wonderful Christmas week. We took walks on the moors6, read, and sang together. We were even happier to know that we were independent women now, because of our new money. But St. john did not join us in our fun. He continued to study all the time, and visited the sick and poor as he had always done. “St. john, are you still going to leave us and become a missionary7?” Diana asked him one day, a little sadly. “Nothing will change my plans,” he told his sister. “I will leave England in a few months.”
“And Rosamund Oliver?” asked Mary gently.
“What about her? She is going to marry a Mr. Granby. Her father tells me he is a very nice young man.” St. John’s face was calm, and his mind was thinking about other things. With surprise, I realized he no longer loved Rosamund. Somehow, he had pushed her out of his heart.
Soon our lives at Moor House returned to normal, once Christmas was over. We began to study the things that interested us again, such as languages and drawing. However, St. John began to spend more time with Diana, Mary and I sometimes I thought he was watching me. One day when I was alone, he said to me, “Jane, would you learn the Hindustani language with me? I’ll need it for my work in India, and you can help me to learn it by studying with me. You don’t need German, anyway. You will be a good partner for me, because you study harder than my sisters do.” It seemed important to him, so I began to study Hindustani. Diana and Mary were surprised that I had stopped learning8 German.
St. John and I spent many hours together, studying. I had to work very hard to satisfy9 him. When I was with him I felt that I was losing the freedom to be myself, Jane Eyre, and do the things I liked. St. John always wanted me to be serious. Soon, I never laughed or even smiled. However, St. John seemed to want to be with me all the time, and I discovered that it was not unpleasant10.
All this time, I had not forgotten Mr. Rochester. I knew I would love him for the rest of my life. I had written letters to Mr. Briggs and Mrs. Fairfax, asking about him, but there was no answer. Soon I lost hope and began to feel unhappy again. Diana said she thought I looked tired, and should go to the ocean for a rest. But St. John thought I should study even more. He gave me more of the Hindustani language to practice. On day St. John and I had stopped our studying and were walking outside. He said to me, “Jane, I’ll be leaving for India in six weeks.”
“You’re serving God, so I’m sure He will protect you,” I said.
“But it seems strange to me that my friends won’t come with me. Only those who serve God will go to heaven. What do you say to that, Jane?”
“I don’t know what to say, St. John. I think---“ I said.
“Then I must speak for you!” he interrupted11. “Jane, come with me to India and teach the word of God!”
Was this what God wanted me to do with my life? I felt afraid, thinking that I might not be able to say “no” to St. John.
“St. John, don’t choose me!” I cried. But I knew that St. John would not understand my feelings. If he thought God was telling him to do something, he always did it, no matter how bad it was.
“God wants you to be a missionary’s wife--- my wife.”
He continued. “Trust in Him, Jane. Marry me, to please God.”
“Sr. John, I can’t do that. I can’t marry you and go to India. I’m not strong enough,” I said desperately12.
“I know how hard you can work, Jane. You can help me with the Indian women, and teach English to many students.” I thought for a while, walking next to him and saying nothing. I believed I could live in India with St. John, because the work would be rewarding13 and interesting. “Yes, I could do that. But I know he doesn’t love me, and yet he still asks me to marry him! Why?” I thought. After a while, I said.,
“St. John. I will go with you to India, but as your cousin, not as your wife.”
He shook his head. “No, Jane. As my cousin, you could marry some other man any time and leave me. I need a wife. Who will obey me and stay with me until death.”
Even though I did not want to go, I felt St. John’s power over me already. “I could go with you to India as a friend, but I can’t give up my freedom by marrying you. I will always give my heart to God, but you don’t want it, St. John. You don’t love me, and I don’t love you,” I said to him gently.
“I’ll ask you again in a few days. Remember it’s not me you’re saying “no” to--- it’s God! You are disobeying14 God!”
I turned to face him. “St. John Rivers, you must make sure that you’re not confusing15 what God wants, with what you want!” Later, I could not believe I had said this to him.
He was very angry with me, and for the next week he was as cold as ice to me. This hurt me very much. I was sorry I had hurt him, but I began to see that, if I were his wife, he would kill my spirit and not feel bad about it at all. When he asked me to marry him again, however, he was very gentle and kind. We were alone in the sitting room, and he spoke16 to me quietly in his deep voice. “Remember, Jane, God wants us to do what is right. He asks us to work for Him, and the people who do will go to heaven. Please say you will marry me!”
I admired and respected St. John, and suddenly I almost wanted to agree. He gently held my hand, and I knew that It would not be a bad life in India. Maybe God was telling me to go, and I truly wanted to do what was right.
“All right, St. John,” I said softly17, feeling that my heart was breaking. “If God gives me a sign that He really wants me to marry you, I will agree!”
“God has answered my prayers18!” said St. John. We stood together in the house, waiting for a sign from God. It was completely19 quiet in the house, and I could almost hear my heart beating. I was almost excited.
Suddenly I heard a distant voice cry “Jane! Jane! Jane!” and nothing more! Where did it come from? It was Edward Rochester’s voice, and it was full of pain and sadness!
For a minute the whole would stood still. Then I jumped to my feet.
“Edward! I’m coming to you!” I cried. “Wait for me!”
I ran into the garden crying out, “where are you?” But there was no answer. I broke away from St. John, who was following me. He asked me many questions, but I only said, “I have received my sign from God, St. John,” I said. “I will never go to India with you.” I told him to leave me, and he obeyed. In my room, I thanked God for the sign he had sent me. Then I fell asleep, knowing what I had to do next.


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 learned m1oxn     
adj.有学问的,博学的;learn的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • He went into a rage when he learned about it.他听到这事后勃然大怒。
  • In this little village,he passed for a learned man.在这个小村子里,他被视为有学问的人。
2 teaching ngEziT     
n.教学,执教,任教,讲授;(复数)教诲
参考例句:
  • We all agree in adopting the new teaching method. 我们一致同意采取新的教学方法。
  • He created a new system of teaching foreign languages.他创造了一种新的外语教学体系。
3 moor T6yzd     
n.荒野,沼泽;vt.(使)停泊;vi.停泊
参考例句:
  • I decided to moor near some tourist boats.我决定在一些观光船附近停泊。
  • There were hundreds of the old huts on the moor.沼地上有成百上千的古老的石屋。
4 scold MD0zo     
n.好责骂的人,责骂;vi.责骂,唠唠叨叨地骂;vt.怒骂
参考例句:
  • Don't scold the child,It's not his fault.别责怪那孩子,那不是他的过错。
  • His father gave him a bad scold this morning.他父亲今晨狠狠训了他一顿。
5 cheerfully jUhyR     
adv.高兴地,愉快地
参考例句:
  • The train rolled cheerfully into the station.火车欢呼着驶进车站。
  • He takes our advice quite cheerfully.他欣然接受我们的劝告。
6 moors 039ba260de08e875b2b8c34ec321052d     
v.停泊,系泊(船只)( moor的第三人称单数 )
参考例句:
  • the North York moors 北约克郡的漠泽
  • They're shooting grouse up on the moors. 他们在荒野射猎松鸡。 来自《简明英汉词典》
7 missionary ID8xX     
adj.教会的,传教(士)的;n.传教士
参考例句:
  • She taught in a missionary school for a couple of years.她在一所教会学校教了两年书。
  • I hope every member understands the value of missionary work. 我希望教友都了解传教工作的价值。
8 learning wpSzFe     
n.学问,学识,学习;动词learn的现在分词
参考例句:
  • When you are learning to ride a bicycle,you often fall off.初学骑自行车时,常会从车上掉下来。
  • Learning languages isn't just a matter of remembering words.学习语言不仅仅是记些单词的事。
9 satisfy 8Y0xT     
v.满意;满足
参考例句:
  • Her father tried his best to satisfy her demands.她的父亲想尽一切办法来满足她的要求。
  • She is too poor to satisfy her family's material needs.她太穷了,无法满足家人的物质需要。
10 unpleasant jKRzC     
adj.使人不愉快的,使人厌恶的,煞风景的
参考例句:
  • A very unpleasant thing has happened.一件令人很不愉快的事发生了。
  • The kind advices are often unpleasant to the ear.好言常常不入耳。
11 interrupted interrupted     
adj. 中断的 动词interrupt的过去式和过去分词
参考例句:
  • He could not conceal his annoyance at being interrupted. 他因受扰而难掩怒色。
  • She was interrupted by the entrance of an attendant. 服务员进来,打断了她的话。
12 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
13 rewarding IjfzvI     
adj.令人满意的;利益的
参考例句:
  • Gardening is a very rewarding pastime.园艺劳动是非常有益的消遣。
  • She finds motherhood very rewarding.她认为做母亲得偿所愿。
14 disobeying 2c89dbfd416e268223709ed8802b4ccd     
v.不服从,不顺从( disobey的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • He was punished for disobeying orders. 他因违抗命令而受到惩罚。
  • Disobeying the law can head to trouble. 不守法可能会引起麻烦。 来自《简明英汉词典》
15 confusing lvXztt     
adj.混乱的,令人困惑的
参考例句:
  • The instructions on the box are very confusing.盒子上的使用说明含混不清。
  • It's very confusing to learn a new language.学习一门新语言是很令人困惑的。
16 spoke XryyC     
n.(车轮的)辐条;轮辐;破坏某人的计划;阻挠某人的行动 v.讲,谈(speak的过去式);说;演说;从某种观点来说
参考例句:
  • They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
  • The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。
17 softly HiIzR4     
adv.柔和地,静静地,温柔地
参考例句:
  • He speaks too softly for her to hear.他讲话声音太轻,她听不见。
  • She breathed her advice softly.她低声劝告。
18 prayers 7dd636d72a44a01a1b8b2c65d5895bc4     
祈祷( prayer的名词复数 ); 祈祷(习惯); 祈祷文; 经文
参考例句:
  • to say your prayers 祷告
  • He says his prayers every night before he goes to bed. 他每晚睡觉前都做晚祷。
19 completely lvmzzZ     
adv.完全地,十分地,全然
参考例句:
  • She never completely gave up hope.她从不完全放弃希望。
  • I feel completely in the dark on this question.这件事使我感到茫然。
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TAG标签:   简爱  有声名著  jene  chapter  简爱  有声名著  jene  chapte
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