生活大爆炸 第五季:第18集 谢尔顿理发风波(下)

 Good. I'm taking that disgusti chart off the fridge. 太好了，这恶心的表总算能拿下来了

You know, Sh-Sheldon, sometimes it's nice not knowing what's coming. I mean, look at me and Leonard. 知道吗，谢尔顿，有时候不知道结果也很好啊，看看我和莱纳德

We went out, we broke up, now we're trying again. We don't know what's gonna happen. 我们交往，分手，现在我们又在尝试交往，没人知道结果会怎样

Oh, please, everyone knows what's going to happen. 拜托，大家都知道好吧

But I see your point. 但我明白你的意思了

I think this could be good for you. 塞翁失马，焉知非福

Maybe it's time for you to shake things up a bit. You're right. 也许你该做出些改变了。你说得对

I should embrace the chaos¹. Great. 我该面对这混乱。好极了

What are you going to do first? 那你第一步要做什么呢?

I don't know. I could do anything. All bets are off. 不知道。我可以做任何事。所有束缚都不复存在

The world is my oyster². I got it. 我可以随心所欲了。想到了

I'm going to put on my Tuesday pajamas³ tonight. 今晚我要穿星期二的睡衣

I got to tell you, I'm a little worried about him. 说实话，我有点儿担心他

If I were you, I'd be worried that a girl who's never played chess in her life just kicked your ass⁴. 我是你的话，就会多想想为啥一个，从没下过象棋的妹子能轻松赢你

Hi! Howie, what happened to you? 嗨！华仔，你怎么成这样了?

We did overnight survival training in the wilderness⁵. 我们在野外搞了一通宵的生存训练

Big fun. Big, big fun. 很好玩。非常，非常好玩

I was gonna freshen up for you but I blacked out a little on the way to the bathroom. 我本来想去梳洗一下，但去浴室时，我小晕了一会儿

Survival training? Is that like camping? 生存训练?是像野营一样吗?

Except you don't have food or water, 不过你没有食物和水

and they don't have a sunset Sabbath service like they do at Camp Hess-Kramer. 也没有赫斯·克莱默夏令营，日落即休息的规定（犹太人的习俗）

Do you sleep in tents? No. 你睡在帐篷里吗?没

I slept in a hole I dug in the ground with my bare hands. 我睡在赤手在地上挖出来的洞里

And at some point during the night, an armadillo crawled in and spooned me. 半夜时，还有只犰狳爬了进来它还钻我

Poor baby. But I did it. I survived. 小可怜。但我做到了。我活下来了

I wasn't sure I was going to when the sandstorm hit. 沙暴来的时候，我都不知道能不能活下来

I just pulled my turtleneck up over my head and waited for death. 我把高领毛衣拉过头顶，准备受死了

But somehow as I sat there, wrapped in a cocoon⁶ of my own neck-sweat, 但不知怎么的，我坐在那儿，用毛衣把自己包得像茧一样

I found that primal⁷ part of the human spirit that just wants to keep on living, no matter what the cost. 我找到了人类最原始的欲望，只想活下去，不管付出什么代价

You're so brave. I'm proud of you. 你真勇敢，我以你为傲

I ate a butterfly. 我吃了只蝴蝶

It was so small and... beautiful, but I was so hungry. 它那么的小巧...美丽，但我太饿了

Are you crying? 你在哭吗?

No, I don't think it's possible. I'm severely⁹ dehydrated. 不，我哭不出来，我已经严重脱水了

My pee is like toothpaste. 我尿尿都像挤牙膏一样

Howie, if you're not able to do this, come home. 华仔，如果你做不到，就回家吧

It won't change how I feel about you. 你在我心里的形象不会因此改变的

Thanks, honey, but I can't quit. 谢了，宝贝，但我不能放弃

If I do, I'll just be a guy who had a chance to be an astronaut and gave it up. 如果我回家，我这成为宇航员的机会就白瞎了

Well, is there anything I could do to help? No. 那有什么我能做的吗?没有

Wait. Send more underwear. 等等，再寄点内裤来

Don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos. 别是谢尔顿在打手鼓

Please, don't let this be Sheldon playing bongos. 千万不要是谢尔顿在打手鼓

Hello, Leonard, do you like my bongos? 好呀，莱纳德，喜欢我的手鼓吗?

Bet you didn't know that I had bongos. 你想不到，我还有手鼓吧

Sheldon, it's 3:00 o'clock in the morning. 谢尔顿，现在是凌晨三点

3:00 in the morning is a good time for bongos. I was sleeping. 凌晨三点是打手鼓的好时间。我在睡觉呢

Leonard sleeps while I play bongos. 我打手鼓，莱纳德在睡觉

No, he doesn't. Leonard no sleep while I play bongos. Bongo solo. 不，我睡不着了。我打手鼓，莱纳德睡不着。手鼓独奏

Stop! Stop it! Stop! Stop! Stop it! 停，停，停，快停下

What the hell?! Oh, hi, Penny, guess what? Sheldon got bongos. 搞什么鬼啊？嘿，佩妮，猜咋着啦?谢尔顿买了手鼓

Why did you get bongos? 你买手鼓干吗?

Richard Feynman played the bongos. I thought I'd give that a try. 理查德-费曼以前也玩手鼓，我也该试试

Richard Feynman was a famous physicist¹⁰. Oh, Leonard, it's 3:00 o'clock in the morning. I don't care if Richard Feynman was a purple leprechaun who lived in my butt⁸. 理查德-费曼是位着名的物理学家。莱纳德，现在是凌晨三点，我才不管理查德-费曼，是什么狗屁妖魔鬼怪

Penny meant if he were a purple leprechaun. Penny forgot to use the subjunctive. 佩妮的意思是，不管他是不是妖魔鬼怪，佩妮忘记用虚拟语气了

Sheldon, go to bed. You have work in the morning. 谢尔顿，去睡觉。你早上还要上班呢

Maybe, maybe not. Maybe tomorrow I start a bongo band and tour the world. 可能去，也可能不去。我也许明天就组个手鼓乐队，去全球巡演了

No, no, hang on, uh, uh, Roommate Agreement. No hootenannies, sing-a-longs, or barbershop quartets after 10:00 p.m. 不，等等，室友协议，晚上十点后不准唱民歌，哼唱，或理发店四重唱（一种合声唱法）

Roommate Agreement? Are you kidding? 室友协议? 搞笑吧?

We are living in a world of chaos. 这世界是如此混乱

Roommate Agreement. 还讲室友协议呢

Where are you going? Wherever the music takes me, kitten. 你要去哪儿?随音乐而行，小淘气

I play bongos walking down the stairs. 我边下楼，边打手鼓

Never play bongos walking down the stairs. 下楼时，千万别打手鼓

Surprise. What are you doing here? 惊喜。你来这干吗?

I'm here to help you get through this. 陪你一起度过难关

You can't do it on your own, you need someone to take care of you. 你一个人搞不定的，需要有人照顾你

Oh, I love you so much. Oh, I love you. Howard, your bath is getting cold! 我太爱你了。我也爱你。霍华德，你的洗澡水要凉了

Don't worry, once she falls asleep, I'll spoon you like an armadillo. 没事，她睡着后，我会像犰狳一样钻你

He showed up in the middle of the night with his bongos. 他半夜三更拿着手鼓跑来

I foolishly thought it was some sort of musical booty call. 我还傻傻地以为，他想用音乐约炮呢

Poor guy. He must have been exhausted¹¹. 可怜的孩子。他一定累坏了

Sheldon like to sleep while Leonard play the bongo! 谢尔顿喜欢在莱纳德打手鼓时睡觉

That was kind of uncalled for. No, it was called for. 没必要这样吧，不，有必要

What's going on? 怎么回事?

All right, Sheldon, this craziness has gone on long enough. 好了，谢尔顿，不要再疯了

Please come home so I can cut your hair. 回家吧，我给你剪头发

Penny, you're not trained. You're not licensed¹². Most importantly, you don't have access to my haircut records. 佩妮，你没培训过，也没理发执照，更重要的是，你没有我的理发记录

All right, honey, look, we've known each other for a long time now, right? 好了，亲爱的，我们已经认识很久了吧

I've taken you to Disneyland, I kicked a bully¹³ in the nuts for you, I sing you  Soft Kitt when you're sick, you've even saw me naked once. 我带你去过迪斯尼乐园，替你踢过某人下面，你生病时，我给你唱过"软软猫咪"你也看过一次我裸体

I'm sorry, what? 不好意思，你说什么?

It was a long story. Anyway, Sheldon, I promise I know what I'm doing. Please let me cut your hair. 说来话长，总之，谢尔顿，我保证会弄好的，我给你剪头发吧

Amy, what do you think? 艾米，你觉得呢?

There's not a hair on my body I wouldn't let this woman trim. 她要给我剪什么，我都愿意

Fine, let's go. Thank you for letting me sleep on your couch. 好吧，走。谢谢你让我睡你沙发上

There's only so many times a woman can say, How about the bed? 我还真是头一次问这么多遍，到床上去好吗?

What's this about Sheldon seeing you naked? Oh, relax. It was just her bottom and her breasts. 谢尔顿看见你裸体是怎么回事?淡定，只看到她胸部和下面而已

Almost done. At the end of the haircut, Mr.D'Onofrio would tell me a dirty joke. 快好了。快完的时候，多诺弗里奥先生会给我讲个黄段子

Sorry, I don't know any dirty jokes. 不好意思，我不懂什么黄段子

That's okay, I never understood them anyway. 没关系，反正我也从没听懂过

Okay, what do you think? 好了，怎么样?

Hm, well, it's a little Hollywood. 有点好莱坞范儿

But I think I can pull it off. 但还行吧

Well done, Penny. Ha, told you. 剪得不错，佩妮。早说啦

Okay, I'm just gonna clean up your neck a little and then you are good to go. Fun time. 好了，现在稍稍修下脖子那里，你就可以走了。好的

Sorry, sometimes the clippers tickle¹⁴ me. Okay. 不好意思，有时候发推会推得我很痒。好吧

Okay, yep, we're all done now. It's just... it's good.Let me just take that away from you. 好了，搞定。就是...很不错，我帮你脱下来

Okay. Thank you very much. You are welcome. 好了，非常感谢。不客气

Yeah, I'm gonna have to move. 看来我得搬家了

 

1 chaos   

n.混乱，无秩序

参考例句：

• After the failure of electricity supply the city was in chaos.停电后，城市一片混乱。
• The typhoon left chaos behind it.台风后一片混乱。

2 oyster   

n.牡蛎；沉默寡言的人

参考例句：

• I enjoy eating oyster; it's really delicious.我喜欢吃牡蛎，它味道真美。
• I find I fairly like eating when he finally persuades me to taste the oyster.当他最后说服我尝尝牡蛎时，我发现我相当喜欢吃。

3 pajamas   

n.睡衣裤

参考例句：

• At bedtime,I take off my clothes and put on my pajamas.睡觉时，我脱去衣服，换上睡衣。
• He was wearing striped pajamas.他穿着带条纹的睡衣裤。

4 ass   

n.驴；傻瓜，蠢笨的人

参考例句：

• He is not an ass as they make him.他不象大家猜想的那样笨。
• An ass endures his burden but not more than his burden.驴能负重但不能超过它能力所负担的。

5 wilderness   

n.杳无人烟的一片陆地、水等，荒漠

参考例句：

• She drove the herd of cattle through the wilderness.她赶着牛群穿过荒野。
• Education in the wilderness is not a matter of monetary means.荒凉地区的教育不是钱财问题。

6 cocoon   

n.茧

参考例句：

• A cocoon is a kind of silk covering made by an insect.蚕茧是由昆虫制造的一种由丝组成的外包层。
• The beautiful butterfly emerged from the cocoon.美丽的蝴蝶自茧中出现。

7 primal   

adj.原始的；最重要的

参考例句：

• Jealousy is a primal emotion.嫉妒是最原始的情感。
• Money was a primal necessity to them.对于他们，钱是主要的需要。

8 butt   

n.笑柄；烟蒂；枪托；臀部；v.用头撞或顶

参考例句：

• The water butt catches the overflow from this pipe.大水桶盛接管子里流出的东西。
• He was the butt of their jokes.他是他们的笑柄。

9 severely   

adv.严格地；严厉地；非常恶劣地

参考例句：

• He was severely criticized and removed from his post.他受到了严厉的批评并且被撤了职。
• He is severely put down for his careless work.他因工作上的粗心大意而受到了严厉的批评。

10 physicist   

n.物理学家，研究物理学的人

参考例句：

• He is a physicist of the first rank.他是一流的物理学家。
• The successful physicist never puts on airs.这位卓有成就的物理学家从不摆架子。

11 exhausted   

adj.极其疲惫的，精疲力尽的

参考例句：

• It was a long haul home and we arrived exhausted.搬运回家的这段路程特别长，到家时我们已筋疲力尽。
• Jenny was exhausted by the hustle of city life.珍妮被城市生活的忙乱弄得筋疲力尽。

12 licensed   

adj.得到许可的v.许可，颁发执照(license的过去式和过去分词)

参考例句：

• The new drug has not yet been licensed in the US. 这种新药尚未在美国获得许可。
• Is that gun licensed? 那支枪有持枪执照吗？

13 bully   

n.恃强欺弱者，小流氓；vt.威胁，欺侮

参考例句：

• A bully is always a coward.暴汉常是懦夫。
• The boy gave the bully a pelt on the back with a pebble.那男孩用石子掷击小流氓的背脊。

14 tickle   

v.搔痒，胳肢；使高兴；发痒；n.搔痒，发痒

参考例句：

• Wilson was feeling restless. There was a tickle in his throat.威尔逊只觉得心神不定。嗓子眼里有些发痒。
• I am tickle pink at the news.听到这消息我高兴得要命。