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六人行FriendsMP3 1-21

时间:2006-08-04 16:00来源:互联网 提供网友:LIHANDY   字体: [ ]
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    (单词翻译:双击或拖选)

The One With The Fake Monica

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Written by: Adam Chase and Ira Ungerleider
Transcribed1 by guineapig


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[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, everyone is looking at papers.]

Joey: How could someone get a hold of your credit card number?

Monica: I have no idea. But look how much they spent!

Rachel: Monica, would you calm down? The credit card people said that you only have to pay for the stuff that you bought.

Monica: I know. It's just such reckless spending.

Ross: I think when someone steals your credit card, they've kind of already thrown caution to the wind.

Chandler: Wow, what a geek. They spent $69.95 on a Wonder Mop.

Monica: That's me.

Phoebe: Oh! The yuk! Ross, he's doing it again! (Points to a lamp which is shaking behind the sofa)

Ross: Marcel, stop humping the lamp! Stop humping! Now Marcel, come back- (Marcel runs toward Rachel's room) come here, Marcel-

Rachel: Oh no, not in my room! I'll get him.

Monica: Ross, you've got to do something about the humping.

Ross: What? It's, it's just a phase.

Chandler: Well, that's what we said about Joey...

Ross: Would you all relax? It's not that big a deal.

Rachel: (Out of shot) Stop it! Marcel! Bad monkey!

Ross: What?

Rachel: Let's just say my Curious George doll is no longer curious.

Opening Credits

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, late at night Monica is still examining her bill as Rachel emerges from her room.]

Rachel: Oh, Monica. You are not still going over that thing.

Monica: This woman's living my life.

Rachel: What?

Monica: She's living my life, and she's doing it better than me! Look at this, look. She buys tickets for plays that I wanna see. She, she buys clothes from stores that I'm intimidated2 by the sales people. She spent three hundred dollars on art supplies.

Rachel: You're not an artist.

Monica: Yeah, well I might be if I had the supplies! I mean, I could do all this stuff. Only I don't.

Rachel: Oh, Monica, c'mon, you do cool things.

Monica: Oh really? Okay, let's compare, shall we.

Rachel: (Yawning) Oh, it's so late for 'Shall we'...

Monica: Do I go horseback riding in the park? Do I take classes at the New School?

Rachel: (Yawning) Nooo...

Monica: This is so unfair! She's got everything I want, and she doesn't have my mother.

[Scene: Central Perk3, Joey and Chandler are discussing stage names.]

Chandler: How about Joey... Pepponi?

Joey: No, still too ethnic4. My agent thinks I should have a name that's more neutral.

Chandler: Joey... Switzerland?

(The waitress brings their coffee.)

Joey: Plus, y'know, I think it should be Joe. Y'know, Joey makes me sound like I'm, I dunno, this big. (Waitress looks at him funny) Which I'm not.

Chandler: Joe...Joe...Joe...Stalin?

Joey: Stalin...Stalin...do I know that name? It sounds familiar.

Chandler: Well, it does not ring a bell with me...

Joey: (Writes it down) Joe Stalin. Y'know, that's pretty good.

Chandler: Might wanna try Joseph.

(Joey visibly thinks 'Of course!' and writes it down.)

Joey: Joseph Stalin. I think you'd remember that!

Chandler: Oh yes! Bye Bye Birdie, starring Joseph Stalin. Joseph Stalin is the Fiddler on the Roof.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica is there as Phoebe and Rachel enter.]

Rachel: Hey.

Phoebe: Hey.

Monica: Hi. (On the phone) Hi, uh, yes, this is Monica Geller. Um, I believe I'm taking some classes with you and I was wondering what they were.

Phoebe: What are you doing?

Monica: (Hushes her) Alright, great. Thanks a lot. (Hangs up) I'm going to tap class.

Rachel: What, what, so that you can dance with the woman that stole your credit card?

Monica: This woman's got my life, I should get to see who she is.

Rachel: Go to the post office! I'm sure her picture's up! ...Okay, Monica, y'know what, honey, you're kinda losing it here! I mean, this is really becoming like a weird5 obsession6 thing.

Phoebe: This is madness. It's madness, I tell you, for the love of God, Monica, don't do it!! ...Thank you.

[Scene: A Tap Class, the girls are standing7 at the door.]

Monica: What d'you think?

Phoebe: Lotsa things.

(They go in and sit down.)

Rachel: Which one do you think she is?

(The teacher comes up to them.)

Teacher: May I help you?

Monica: Oh, no thanks, we're just here to observe.

Teacher: You don't observe a dance class. You dance a dance class. Spare shoes are over there.

Rachel: What does she mean?

Phoebe: I think she means (Imitates) 'You dance a dance class'. Oh, c'mon, c'mon. (They put on some spare shoes)

Monica: Okay, d'y'see anybody you think could be me?

Teacher: (To the class) People! Last time there were some empty yoghurt containers lying around after class. Let's not have that happen again!

Rachel: She could be you.

(Music starts)

Teacher: Let's get started. Five, six, a-five six seven eight...

(Everyone starts to dance in unison8. Monica flounders)

Monica: Okay, I'm not getting this!

Phoebe: (Dancing in a swirly9, Phoebe kind of way) I'm totally getting it!

Monica: Did you ever feel like sometimes you are just so unbelievably uncoordinated?

(Rachel taps into view; she is in perfect sync with the rest of the class)

Rachel: What? You just click when they click.

Teacher: Alright people, now everyone grab a partner.

(The girls are unsure how to pair off. Phoebe settles it)

Phoebe: Okay. And, my, dead, mother, says, you, are, it. I'm with Rachel.

Monica: Great. It's gym class all over again.

Phoebe and Rachel: Aww.

Teacher: Well that's all right, you can come up to the front and dance with me.

Monica: Why don't I just take off my clothes and have a nightmare.

(She starts to walk very slowly toward the front of the room. The teacher grabs her hand and pulls her. Suddenly a woman bursts in)

Woman: It's okay, it's okay, I'm here, I'm here. Sorry I'm late, okay, here I am. Who's the new tense girl?

Teacher: She's your partner.

Woman: Hi. I'm Monica.

Monica: Oh. Monica! ...Hi. I'm Mo- ...nana.

Woman: (Fake Monica) Monana?

Monica: Yeah. It's Dutch.

Fake Monica: You're kidding! I-I spent three years in Amsterdam. (Asks her something in Dutch)

Monica: Um, Pennsylvania Dutch.

Teacher: And we're dancing. A-five, six, seven, eight...

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is entering.]

Ross: (Mortified) Hi.

Chandler and Joey: Hey.

Joey: Where've you been?

Ross: At the vet10.

Chandler: She's not gonna make you wear one of those big plastic cones11, is she?

Ross: She says Marcel's humping thing's not a phase. Apparently12 he's reached sexual maturity13.

Joey: (To Chandler) Hey! He beat ya.

Ross: She says as time goes on, he's gonna start getting agressive and violent.

Chandler: So what does this mean?

Ross: I'm gonna have to give him up.

Commercial Break

[Scene: Central Perk, scene continued from earlier. They guys are sitting there like the Three Monkeys.]

Joey: I can't believe it, Ross. This sucks!

Chandler: I don't get it, I mean, you just got him. How can he be an adult already?

Ross: I know. I know. I mean, one day, he's this little thing, and before you know it, he's this little thing I can't get off my leg.

Joey: Isn't there any way you can keep him?

Ross: No, no. The vet says unless he's in a place where he has regular access to some... monkey lovin,' he's just gonna get vicious. I've just gotta get him into a zoo.

Joey: How do you get a monkey into a zoo?

Chandler: I know that one! ...No, that's Popes into a Volkswagen.

Ross: Well, we're applying to a lot of them. Naturally our first choice would be one of the bigger state zoos, y'know, like, uh, San Diego... right? But that might just be a pipe dream, because, y'know, he's out of state. Uh, my vet, uh, knows someone at Miami, so that's a possibility.

Chandler: Yeah, but that's like two blocks away from the beach. I mean, it's a total party zoo.

(Phoebe, Monica, and Rachel enters.)

Phoebe: Hey. We found her, we found the girl.

Chandler: What?

Joey: Did you call the cops?

Rachel: Nope. We took her to lunch.

Chandler: Ah. Your own brand of vigilante justice.

Ross: What?! Are you insane? This woman stole from you. She stole. She's a stealer.

Monica: Y'know what? After you're with this woman for like ten minutes, you forget all that. I mean, she is this astounding14 person, with this, with this amazing spirit.

Ross: Yeah, which she probably stole from some cheerleader.

Chandler: ...Take off their hats!

Phoebe: Popes in a Volkswagen! ...I love that joke.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Monica, Rachel and Fake Monica are there.]

Rachel: No way. No way did you do this.

Fake Monica: Monana was very brave.

Monica: It was so wild. We told them we were the Gunnersens in room six fifteen. Only to find out the Boston Celtics had taken over the entire sixth floor!

Fake Monica: So once they caught on to the fact that we're, y'know, short and have breasts...

Monica: ...They threw us out! I was thrown out of a hotel! Me!

Rachel: Go Monana! Well, you ladies are not the only ones living the dream. I get to go pour coffee for people I don't know. Don't wait up. (Exits)

Fake Monica: Oh, by the way, tomorrow we're auditioning15 for a Broadway show.

Monica: 'Scuse me?

Fake Monica: There's an open call for Cats. I'm thinking we go down there, sing Memories and make complete fools of ourselves. Whaddya say?

Monica: Nononononono. Think who you're dealing16 with here. I mean, I'm not like you. I-I can't even stand in front of a tap class.

Fake Monica: Well, that's just probably 'cause of your Amish background.

Monica: What?

Fake Monica: Well, you're Pennsylvania Dutch, right?

Monica: Right. Till I bought a blow dryer17, then I was shunned18.

Fake Monica: I-I used to be just like you. And then one day I saw a movie that changed my life. Did you ever see Dead Poets' Society?

Monica: Uh-huh.

Fake Monica: I thought that movie was so incredibly... boring. I mean, that thing at the end where the kid kills himself because he can't be in the play? What was that?! It's like, kid, wait a year, leave home, do some community theatre. I walked out of there and I thought, 'Now, that's two hours of my life that I'm never getting back.' And that thought scared me more than all the other crap I was afraid to do.

Monica: Wow. Then I would definitely not recommend Mrs. Doubtfire.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, tiem lapse19. Everyone but Joey and Monica are there.]

Ross: (Reading letters) Oh God. (To Marcel) We didn't get into Scranton. (To the others) That was like our safety zoo. They take like dogs and cows. See? I don't know who this is harder on, me or him.

Phoebe: I'd say that chair's taking the brunt.

Ross: Marcel! Marcel! Marcel, no! Good boy. See, how can nobody want him?

Rachel: Oh, somebody will.

Joey: (entering) You know there already is a Joseph Stalin?

Chandler: You're kidding.

Joey: Apparently he was this Russian dictator who slaughtered20 all these people. You'd think you would've known that!

Chandler: Y'know, you'd think I would've.

Joey: Phoebe. Whaddyou think a good stage name for me would be?

Phoebe: ...Flame Boy.

[Scene: Central Perk, Ross is talking to Dr. Baldhara, a zookeeper.]

Ross: Where exactly is your zoo?

Dr. Baldhara: Well, it's technically21 not a zoo per se, it's more of an interactive22 wildlife experience. Let me ask you some questions about, is it, uh, Marcel?

Ross: Yes.

Dr. Baldhara: Does he, uh, fight with other animals?

Ross: No-no, he's, he's very docile23.

Dr. Baldhara: Even if he were... cornered?

Ross: Well I, I don't know. Why?

Dr. Baldhara: Uh, how is he at handling small objects?

Ross: He can hold a banana, if that's whatcha mean...

Dr. Baldhara: How about a hammer, or a small blade?

Ross: Why- why- why would he need a blade?

Dr. Baldhara: Well, if he's up against a jungle cat or an animal with horns, you've got to give the little guy something. Otherwise it's just cruel.

(Chandler and Joey burst in, with Marcel)

Chandler and Joey: He- he- he got in, he- he got in to San Diego.

Joey: We, we come back from our walk and the- the phone was ringing...

Chandler: ...He's in.

Ross: He's in! Oh, did you hear that, Marcel? San Diego. San Diego!

Dr. Baldhara: You're making a big mistake here. I mean, San Diego's all well and good, but if you give him to me, I'll start him off against a blind rabbit and give you twenty percent of the gains.

[Scene: Monica and Rachel's, Rachel is dusting. She comes to the table, lifts all the magazines and wipes under them, then just puts them down again. Monica bursts in, obviously drunk.]

Monica: Yo- hooo!

Rachel: Where the hell've you been?

Monica: Monica and I just crashed an embassy party.

Rachel: Are you drunk?!

Monica: Noooo! (Comes closer and whispers) I'm lying. I am so drunk.

Rachel: Oh God, oh. Great, Monica, y'know what, you could've called, I have been up here, I've been worried...

(Monica is drinking from the tap)

Rachel: Monica? Monica!

Monica: Water rules!

Rachel: Yes, yes, it does. Okay, look, the restaurant called, they wanna know if you're gonna be showing up for work?

Monica: Nope. Going to the Big Apple Circus today.

Rachel: Okay Monica, what are you doing? You're gonna lose your job! This is not you!

Monica: No, it is me! Y'know, I'm not just the person who needs to fluff the pillows and pay the bills as soon as they come in! Y'know, when I'm with her, I am so much more than that. I'm- I'm Monana!

(The phone rings and Rachel answers)

Rachel: Hello? Yes, she is, hold on a second, please. Monana, it's for you, the credit card people.

Monica: Helloooo? Yeah. Oh my God. Thanks.

Rachel: What?

Monica: They've arrested Monica.

[Scene: New York City Department of Correction, Monica is visiting Fake Monica.]

Monica: Hi.

Fake Monica: Hey.

Monica: How are you?

Fake Monica: I'm not too bad. Fortunately, blue's my colour. How-how did you know I was here?

Monica: Because... I'm Monica Geller. It was my credit card you were using.

Fake Monica: That I was not expecting.

Monica: I want you to know, it wasn't me who turned you in.

Fake Monica: Oh. Thanks.

Monica: No, thank you! You have given me so much! I mean, if it wasn't for you, I would never have gotten to sing Memories on the stage at the Wintergarden Theater!

Fake Monica: Well, actually, you only got to sing 'Memo-'.

Monica: I just can't believe you're in here. I mean, what am I gonna do without you? Who's gonna crash the embassy parties with me? Who's gonna take me to the Big Apple Circus?

Fake Monica: Monica, I started my day by peeing in front of twenty-five other women, and you're worried about who's gonna take you to the Big Apple Circus?

Monica: Well, not... worried, just... wondering.

Fake Monica: There's nothing to wonder about, Monica. You're gonna go back to being exactly who you were, because that's who you are.

Monica: Not necessarily...

Fake Monica: Yes necessarily! I mean, I dunno what it is, maybe it's the Amish thing.

Monica: Um, I'm not actually Amish.

Fake Monica: Really? Then why are you like that?

[Scene: Tap Class, Monica is standing by the door.]

Teacher: You by the door. In or out?

Monica: In. (She joins in the dancing. She still flounders)

Teacher: You in the back, you're getting it all wrong!

Monica: Yeah, but at least I'm doing it!

[Scene: The Airport, everyone but Monica is there to see off Marcel.]

PA: This is the final boarding call for flight 67 to San Diego, boarding at gate 42A.

Phoebe: Okay. Good-bye, little monkey guy. Alright, I wrote you this poem. Okay, but don't eat it 'till you get on the plane.

Ross: Aww. Thank you, Aunt Phoebe.

Phoebe: Oh!

Chandler: Okay, bye, champ. Now, I know there's gonna be a lot of babes in San Diego, but remember, there's also a lot to learn.

Joey: I dunno what to say, Ross. Uh, it's a monkey.

Ross: Just, just say what you feel.

Joey: Marcel, I'm hungry.

Ross: That was good.

Rachel: (Brings Marcel a teddy bear) Marcel, this is for you. It's, uh, just, y'know, something to, um, do on the plane.

Ross: Uh, if you guys don't mind, I'd like to take a moment, just me and him.

All: Oh, sure. Sure, absolutely. (They just stand there, then realise what he means and go to the other end of the room)

Ross: Marcel, c'mere, c'mere. (He sits down and Marcel jumps down and sits beside him) Well buddy24, this is it. There's just a coupla things I want to say. I'm really gonna miss you, and I'm never gonna forget about you. You've been more than just a pet to me, you've been more like a be- (Marcel climbs down and starts humping his leg) Okay, Marcel, please, could you leave my leg alone? Could you just stop humping me for two seconds?! Marcel, would- okay, just take him away. Just take him.

(Marcel is put in a cage and taken away.)

Closing Credits

[Scene: A Theater, there is a casting session going on for a play.]

Actor: (Very melodramatically, and very badly) Oh, that I were a glove upon that hand, that I might... touch thy cheek...

Casting Director No. 1: That's fine, thank you.

Casting Director No. 2: Next. (Joey walks onstage)

Joey: Hi, uh, I'll be reading for the role of Mercutio.

Casting Director No. 2: Name?

Joey: Holden McGroin.

End


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点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 transcribed 2f9e3c34adbe5528ff14427d7ed17557     
(用不同的录音手段)转录( transcribe的过去式和过去分词 ); 改编(乐曲)(以适应他种乐器或声部); 抄写; 用音标标出(声音)
参考例句:
  • He transcribed two paragraphs from the book into his notebook. 他把书中的两段抄在笔记本上。
  • Every telephone conversation will be recorded and transcribed. 所有电话交谈都将被录音并作全文转写。
2 intimidated 69a1f9d1d2d295a87a7e68b3f3fbd7d5     
v.恐吓;威胁adj.害怕的;受到威胁的
参考例句:
  • We try to make sure children don't feel intimidated on their first day at school. 我们努力确保孩子们在上学的第一天不胆怯。
  • The thief intimidated the boy into not telling the police. 这个贼恫吓那男孩使他不敢向警察报告。 来自《简明英汉词典》
3 perk zuSyi     
n.额外津贴;赏钱;小费;
参考例句:
  • His perks include a car provided by the firm.他的额外津贴包括公司提供的一辆汽车。
  • And the money is,of course,a perk.当然钱是额外津贴。
4 ethnic jiAz3     
adj.人种的,种族的,异教徒的
参考例句:
  • This music would sound more ethnic if you played it in steel drums.如果你用钢鼓演奏,这首乐曲将更具民族特色。
  • The plan is likely only to aggravate ethnic frictions.这一方案很有可能只会加剧种族冲突。
5 weird bghw8     
adj.古怪的,离奇的;怪诞的,神秘而可怕的
参考例句:
  • From his weird behaviour,he seems a bit of an oddity.从他不寻常的行为看来,他好像有点怪。
  • His weird clothes really gas me.他的怪衣裳简直笑死人。
6 obsession eIdxt     
n.困扰,无法摆脱的思想(或情感)
参考例句:
  • I was suffering from obsession that my career would be ended.那时的我陷入了我的事业有可能就此终止的困扰当中。
  • She would try to forget her obsession with Christopher.她会努力忘记对克里斯托弗的迷恋。
7 standing 2hCzgo     
n.持续,地位;adj.永久的,不动的,直立的,不流动的
参考例句:
  • After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
  • They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。
8 unison gKCzB     
n.步调一致,行动一致
参考例句:
  • The governments acted in unison to combat terrorism.这些国家的政府一致行动对付恐怖主义。
  • My feelings are in unison with yours.我的感情与你的感情是一致的。
9 swirly 09cf7119578491851a2520568ece5a5a     
成涡旋形的
参考例句:
  • There is now a black swirly animation when a spell is resisted. 当法术被抵抗的时候有一个黑色旋涡形的效果。 来自互联网
10 vet 2HfyG     
n.兽医,退役军人;vt.检查
参考例句:
  • I took my dog to the vet.我把狗带到兽医诊所看病。
  • Someone should vet this report before it goes out.这篇报道发表之前应该有人对它进行详查。
11 cones 1928ec03844308f65ae62221b11e81e3     
n.(人眼)圆锥细胞;圆锥体( cone的名词复数 );球果;圆锥形东西;(盛冰淇淋的)锥形蛋卷筒
参考例句:
  • In the pines squirrels commonly chew off and drop entire cones. 松树上的松鼠通常咬掉和弄落整个球果。 来自辞典例句
  • Many children would rather eat ice cream from cones than from dishes. 许多小孩喜欢吃蛋卷冰淇淋胜过盘装冰淇淋。 来自辞典例句
12 apparently tMmyQ     
adv.显然地;表面上,似乎
参考例句:
  • An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽,豁然开朗。
  • He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。
13 maturity 47nzh     
n.成熟;完成;(支票、债券等)到期
参考例句:
  • These plants ought to reach maturity after five years.这些植物五年后就该长成了。
  • This is the period at which the body attains maturity.这是身体发育成熟的时期。
14 astounding QyKzns     
adj.使人震惊的vt.使震惊,使大吃一惊astound的现在分词)
参考例句:
  • There was an astounding 20% increase in sales. 销售量惊人地增加了20%。
  • The Chairman's remarks were so astounding that the audience listened to him with bated breath. 主席说的话令人吃惊,所以听众都屏息听他说。 来自《简明英汉词典》
15 auditioning ba6c8c8153080b3707893ba512a10a44     
vi.试听(audition的现在分词形式)
参考例句:
  • She was auditioning for the role of Lady Macbeth. 她试演了麦克佩斯夫人的角色。
  • Which part are you auditioning for? 你试音什么角色? 来自《简明英汉词典》
16 dealing NvjzWP     
n.经商方法,待人态度
参考例句:
  • This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
  • His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。
17 dryer PrYxf     
n.干衣机,干燥剂
参考例句:
  • He bought a dryer yesterday.他昨天买了一台干燥机。
  • There is a washer and a dryer in the basement.地下室里有洗衣机和烘干机。
18 shunned bcd48f012d0befb1223f8e35a7516d0e     
v.避开,回避,避免( shun的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • She was shunned by her family when she remarried. 她再婚后家里人都躲着她。
  • He was a shy man who shunned all publicity. 他是个怕羞的人,总是避开一切引人注目的活动。 来自《简明英汉词典》
19 lapse t2lxL     
n.过失,流逝,失效,抛弃信仰,间隔;vi.堕落,停止,失效,流逝;vt.使失效
参考例句:
  • The incident was being seen as a serious security lapse.这一事故被看作是一次严重的安全疏忽。
  • I had a lapse of memory.我记错了。
20 slaughtered 59ed88f0d23c16f58790fb11c4a5055d     
v.屠杀,杀戮,屠宰( slaughter的过去式和过去分词 )
参考例句:
  • The invading army slaughtered a lot of people. 侵略军杀了许多人。 来自《简明英汉词典》
  • Hundreds of innocent civilians were cruelly slaughtered. 数百名无辜平民遭残杀。 来自《简明英汉词典》
21 technically wqYwV     
adv.专门地,技术上地
参考例句:
  • Technically it is the most advanced equipment ever.从技术上说,这是最先进的设备。
  • The tomato is technically a fruit,although it is eaten as a vegetable.严格地说,西红柿是一种水果,尽管它是当作蔬菜吃的。
22 interactive KqZzFY     
adj.相互作用的,互相影响的,(电脑)交互的
参考例句:
  • The psychotherapy is carried out in small interactive groups.这种心理治疗是在互动的小组之间进行的。
  • This will make videogames more interactive than ever.这将使电子游戏的互动性更胜以往。
23 docile s8lyp     
adj.驯服的,易控制的,容易教的
参考例句:
  • Circus monkeys are trained to be very docile and obedient.马戏团的猴子训练得服服贴贴的。
  • He is a docile and well-behaved child.他是个温顺且彬彬有礼的孩子。
24 buddy 3xGz0E     
n.(美口)密友,伙伴
参考例句:
  • Calm down,buddy.What's the trouble?压压气,老兄。有什么麻烦吗?
  • Get out of my way,buddy!别挡道了,你这家伙!
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TAG标签:   六人行  friend  六人行  friend
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