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How It Feels When Parents Divorce

时间:2005-05-04 16:00来源:互联网 提供网友:hwmy   字体: [ ]
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Lesson 6

                             How It Feels When Parents Divorce1

                                            Text A

Ari, age fourteen
    When my parents were married, I hardly ever saw my Dad
becausc he was always busy working. Now that they're divorced2 , I've gotten to know him more because I'm with him everu weckend. And I really look forward to the weekends because it's kind of like a break-it's like going to Disncyland because thcre's no set schedule, no "Be home by five-thirty" kind of stuff3. It's open. It's free. And my father is always buying me presents.

    My Mom got remarried and divorced again, so I've gone through two divorces4 so far. And my father's also gotten remarricd-to someone I don't get along with all that well. It's all rnade me fcel that people shouldn't get married-they should just livc together and make their own agreement. Then, if things get bad , they don't have to get divorced and hire lawyers and sue5 each other. And. even more important, they don't have to end up hating each other.


    I'd say that the worst part of the divorce is the money problem. It's been hard on mv Mom because lots of times she can't pay her bills, and it makes her angry when I stay with my fatherand he buys me things. She gets mad and says things like "If he can buy you things like this , then he should be able to pay me. " And I feel caught in the middle for two reasons;

first, I can't really enjoy whatever my Dad does get for me, and second, I don't know who to believe. My Dad's saying, "I don't really owe6 her any money," and my Mom's saying he does. Sometimes I fight for my Mom and sometimes I fight for my Dad, but I wish they'd leave me out of it completely7.


    In a lot of ways I wish my Mom would get remarried, because then she wouldn't have to worry so much about finances8. But I'm sorry that my Dad got remarried, because I feel left out a lot of times. And one thing I really worry about is that I think they want to have a baby, and I know that if they do, it will be just like a replacement9 for me.

That's because I only see my Dad on weekends, and since he would see the baby more than he'd see me, he'd probably grow to like it more than he likes me. It could be a lot like what happened with my dog Spunkur.

I've had him for about six years and I've always said I'll never love any dog as much as I love him. Well, a year ago I picked up a little black Labrador puppy10 from the pound, and now I find I'm not as friendly with Spunkur as I used to be. And I think Spunkur feels jealous11 , just like I would if my Dad and my stepmother had a baby.

 My Dad said it wouldn't be that way, that we'd be a whole family and I'd have a little brother or sister, which would be a lot of fun, but I told him, "Look, by the time the kid is old ehougli to talk, I'll be out of college. I'm not going to have anything to do with a baby. You know that it's just a replacement for me ! "

 


    If I lived'full-time with my Dad, it would probably be easier for me to accept a haby because we'd be on an equal footing, but I'd rather stay with my Mom, where life is normal-where we
live like most people live, with breakfast at breakfast time and dinner at d;nner time. I do my homework, play with my friends-it's all the way life should be. If I lived with my Dad, it might be more fun at times, but I would go crazy. I wouldn't want to be brought up that way.


                                             Text B

                                  Sara, age twelve

    I guess the main reason I was mad at Daddy was because it all made my mother so unhapp.y, and I ended up feeling sorry for both of them-my mother because she was struggling to make ends meet, and my Dad because he couldn't really do much about it.


    Even though my parents separated12 more than three years ago, it's still very vivid13 in my mind and I doubt if I'll ever forget the way I felt at the time. Yet, as awful as it was, I never hoped they'd get back together. And now I think I'd die if they did, because it would be so awkward14 for rne.

I think they're both much happier now,. and it's obvious to me that they both lead totally different lives. Since the breakup I've been able to see my parents' true colors' especially my mother's. I've seen a side of her that I never saw before. When she was married, she and Daddy were the perfect couple, always quiet, talking about dignified15 things, and they would never laugh or anything.

Nowadays my mother is always happy and ggy. Another way she's changed is that she always used to hide her problems from me but now she's more apt16 to discuss things. I think she's more relaxed-and so's my Dad.


    Both of my parents started dating other people right away, and I think they'll both get remarried eventually, which is fine with me. They don't discuss their love lives with me all that much, but of course I'm not blind. For example, one night I had a sleep-over at a friend's house and the next morning I came home earlier than I'd planned to.

 Well, I just stormed into my mother's bedroom, and there was this guy in her bed-she was somewhere else, in another room. I started crying and everything, and my mother tried to convince17 me she had slept on the couch18. Now that I look back, it was pretty hilarious19, and of course I don't care-I mean, I understand about those kind of arrangements.

In the beginning, when my father had a girlfriend sleep over, he didn't know how to tell me-he just sort of said, "Oh , you're sleeping on the couch tonight , " because at that point I didn't have my own room at his house and shared the bedroom.

 It's still hard for my Dad to level with me about this part of his life, but he's getting better. Anyhow, neither of them should worry about my getting upset, because I'm old enough to understand that grown-ups are allowed to have private lives, which includes other people. But if someone's going to spend the night, I think it's better and less awkward if I know about it beforehand20, so I'm not taken by surprise.


    I still want to get married and have kids , but I have a lot of friends who don't want to. I was discussing marriage with one boy I know, and he said, "I'm never ever getting married. " He took his parents' divorce really badly because his mother and father weren't friends afterwards-they were enemies, screaming on the phone to each other. I'm glad my parents are good friends, having lunch together and stufi. I think it's so much easier for the child if the parents are friendly. If they aren't, it's really difficuit because there's always a right side and a wrong side and the kids are just caught in the middle.


    I think I've grown up a little faster because of rny parents' divorce. It's made me realize more about the problems of life and helped me to understand my parents-and appreciate them as individuals. It's just too bad they couldn't have been as happy and productive21 as a couple as they've been since they've been on their own. And I also wish that the next time my mother has tickets for a Rolling Stonesl8 concert, she takes me instead of her boyfriend, which is what she did the last time!

 

                                Additional22 Information

                                 Heather, age eleven

    So we have to switch23 back and forth24, doing it on a weekly basis seems to work the best. I'll try to make one room my real room and have the otherone Iike camping out. I can't buy two of everytlring, so I might as well have one good room that's really mine.


    Another aspect of josnt custody25 that's difficult is that my parents have very different rules and philosophies about life. For example, my Dad's attitude is that he lets us learn by our mistakes , and my mother does exactly the opposite-she tells us how to act before we make the mistake. And my Dad says we can watch TV for a while after school , and my Mom says we can'tthat we have to sel'ect our programs verv carefully.

At my Dad's house Matthew has to do his homework right away, but he gets to stay up until nine and watch The A I'eam because that's his favorite show. Mom doesn't want him to when we're at her house but she feels she has to give in because Matthew says, "Well, Daddy lets me do that at his house. " He's learning26 to play them against each other at a very early age. I don't do that, but I have to admit there are times when I secretly wish I was at whichever house I'm not at.


    It would be nice if there could be a special house for divorced families. It would be like two houses, side by side, with a place in the middle where the kids could live. Then when parents had arguments they could each go to their own place and get away from each other and think things out by themselves.

That way, they could realize how dumb27 they were behaving and get back together again. I know it's too late for that kind of arrangement with my parents-and as I look back I see that they're both.happier being apart. My father's become a different person, you know, and it's unbelievable.

I like the person he is now because he doesn't get angry as fast as he used to. And my mother's much happier because she doesn't have to worry about getting Daddy mad. Another good thing that's happened is that my father's turned into a terrific28 cook, and it makes me feel proud to be one of the only


, people in my class whose father cooks and does things like' taking me to hockey practice and to sewing. And it's great to see how my Mom doesn't have to rely29 on Daddy to pay the bills and throw out the garbage. She's working now and that's helped her feel important. Neither of them has to rely on the other one in dumb ways, the way they used to, and I thinkthey're both much better off as a result. I know that neither of them will ever be able to forget all the anger, but I think that as time gdes on they'll sort of come to their senses and be pretty good friends. That's what I hope for more than anything in the world!


 


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 divorce m8dyq     
n.离婚;分离;vi.离婚;vt.离婚;脱离
参考例句:
  • Did he divorce his wife or did she divorce him?是他要和妻子离婚,还是妻子要和他离婚?
  • None of us like the divorce of word and deed.我们都不喜欢言行不一。
2 divorced Wu5z2w     
adj.离婚的;分开的;不相干的;脱离的v.与…离婚(divorce的过去式和过去分词);分离;与某人离婚,判某人离婚
参考例句:
  • Apparently they are getting divorced soon. 看样子,他们很快就要离婚。
  • Many divorced men remarry and have second families. 许多离婚的男子再婚组成了新的家庭。
3 stuff Itsw1     
n.原料,材料,东西;vt.填满;吃饱
参考例句:
  • We could supply you with the stuff in the raw tomorrow.明天我们可以供应你原材料。
  • He is not the stuff.他不是这个材料。
4 divorces 5236bd56e83fbfc69213e0adab1a5329     
n.离婚( divorce的名词复数 );分离v.与…离婚( divorce的第三人称单数 );分离;与(某人)离婚,判(某人)离婚
参考例句:
  • "As for Bettie's marriages and divorces,'said Shen-ming, "I've talked with him about them. 慎明道:“关于Bertie结婚离婚的事,我也和他谈过。 来自汉英文学 - 围城
  • He's getting married again, after two divorces, so he obviously hasn't profited by his experiences. 他两次离婚之后又结婚,显然没有吸取以往的教训。 来自辞典例句
5 sue PUAzm     
vt.控告,起诉;vi.请求,追求,起诉
参考例句:
  • If you don't pay me the money,I'll sue you.如果你不付给我钱,我就告你。
  • The war criminals sue for peace.战犯求和。
6 owe wKjxk     
vt./vi.欠(债等);感激;把……归功于某人
参考例句:
  • We still owe one hundred dollars for the car.为这部车我们还欠着100美元。
  • We owe it to society to make our country a better place.把国家建设得更美好是我们对社会应尽的责任。
7 completely lvmzzZ     
adv.完全地,十分地,全然
参考例句:
  • She never completely gave up hope.她从不完全放弃希望。
  • I feel completely in the dark on this question.这件事使我感到茫然。
8 finances gtYzVq     
n.(pl.)财源,资产
参考例句:
  • I need a professional to sort out my finances. 我需要专业人士为我管理财务。
  • The company's finances are looking a bIt'shaky. 这个公司的财政情况看来有点不稳定。
9 replacement UVxxM     
n.取代,替换,交换;替代品,代用品
参考例句:
  • We are hard put to find a replacement for our assistant.我们很难找到一个人来代替我们的助手。
  • They put all the students through the replacement examination.他们让所有的学生参加分班考试。
10 puppy ECZyv     
n.小狗,幼犬
参考例句:
  • You must school your puppy to obey you.你要训练你的小狗服从你。
  • Their lively puppy frisks all over the house.他们的小狗在屋里到处欢快地蹦跳。
11 jealous 7abz6     
adj.妒忌的,猜忌的;精心守护的
参考例句:
  • He was jealous when he discovered that she loved someone else.当他发现她爱别人的时候,他吃醋了。
  • An honorable Chinese citizen should be jealous of his own rights.一名光荣的中国公民应当珍惜自己的公民权利。
12 separated giszqy     
adj.分开的v.分开(separate的过去式和过去分词)
参考例句:
  • Her parents are separated but not divorced. 她父母分居但没离婚。
  • No child should ever be separated from his mother by force. 绝不能强行使任何一个孩子与母亲分开。 来自《简明英汉词典》
13 vivid 7hcw2     
adj.鲜艳的,鲜明的;活泼的,有生气的;生动的,逼真的
参考例句:
  • The writer paints a vivid picture of his early life.那位作家生动地描绘了他早年的生活。
  • The changing vivid colours of the sunset are really fascinating.日落时变化多端的色彩确实使人心醉神迷。
14 awkward eu6ze     
adj.笨拙的,尴尬的,使用不便的,难处理的
参考例句:
  • John is so shy and awkward that everyone notices him.约翰如此害羞狼狈,以至于大家都注意到了他。
  • I was the only man among the guests and felt rather awkward.作为客人中的唯一男性,我有些窘迫。
15 dignified NuZzfb     
a.可敬的,高贵的
参考例句:
  • Throughout his trial he maintained a dignified silence. 在整个审讯过程中,他始终沉默以保持尊严。
  • He always strikes such a dignified pose before his girlfriend. 他总是在女友面前摆出这种庄严的姿态。
16 apt nvtzn     
adj.易于,有...倾向,恰当的,聪明的
参考例句:
  • Beginners are too apt to make mistakes in grammar.初学者极易犯语法错误。
  • He is the most apt of all pupils.他是所有学生中最聪明的一个。
17 convince MZ1yL     
vt.使确认,使信服;使认识错误
参考例句:
  • It requires a lot of talking to convince him.要说服他很费口舌。
  • I have given over trying to convince him.我已经不再试图说服他了。
18 couch mzfxf     
n.睡椅,长沙发椅;vt.表达,隐含
参考例句:
  • Lie down on the couch if you're feeling ill.如果你感觉不舒服就躺到沙发上去。
  • The rabbIt'sprang from its grassy couch.兔子从草丛中跳出。
19 hilarious xdhz3     
adj.充满笑声的,欢闹的;[反]depressed
参考例句:
  • The party got quite hilarious after they brought more wine.在他们又拿来更多的酒之后,派对变得更加热闹起来。
  • We stop laughing because the show was so hilarious.我们笑个不停,因为那个节目太搞笑了。
20 beforehand 3Q7yg     
adj.事先,预先,提前地,超前地
参考例句:
  • If I'd known this beforehand,I would not have gone back.早知如此,我就不回去了。
  • They proposed to make arrangement beforehand.他们提议事先做好安排。
21 productive nQxxT     
adj.能生产的,有生产价值的,多产的
参考例句:
  • We had a productive meeting that solved some problems.我们开了一个富有成效的会议,解决了一些问题。
  • Science and technology are part of the productive forces.科学技术是生产力。
22 additional rJTyM     
adj.添加的,额外的,另外的
参考例句:
  • It is necessary to set down these additional rules.有必要制定这些补充规则。
  • I think we can fit in an additional room.我想我们可以再加建一间房子。
23 switch eqgyf     
n.开关,电闸,转换,软枝;vt.转变,切换,摆动,转换,使转轨;vi.转换,变换,摆动
参考例句:
  • The switch on the wall was beyond the baby's reach.墙上的开关小孩子是够不到的。
  • There's been a switch in our plans.我们的计划改变了。
24 forth Hzdz2     
adv.向前;向外,往外
参考例句:
  • The wind moved the trees gently back and forth.风吹得树轻轻地来回摇晃。
  • He gave forth a series of works in rapid succession.他很快连续发表了一系列的作品。
25 custody Qntzd     
n.监护,照看,羁押,拘留
参考例句:
  • He spent a week in custody on remand awaiting sentence.等候判决期间他被还押候审一个星期。
  • He was taken into custody immediately after the robbery.抢劫案发生后,他立即被押了起来。
26 learning wpSzFe     
n.学问,学识,学习;动词learn的现在分词
参考例句:
  • When you are learning to ride a bicycle,you often fall off.初学骑自行车时,常会从车上掉下来。
  • Learning languages isn't just a matter of remembering words.学习语言不仅仅是记些单词的事。
27 dumb 4k1zE     
adj.哑的;不会说话的;笨的;愚蠢的
参考例句:
  • She is very kind to the dumb children.她对哑童非常好。
  • It was dumb of you to say that.你说这种话太愚蠢了。
28 terrific 9pwwG     
adj.可怕的,极好的,非常的
参考例句:
  • The game was terrific.那场比赛棒极了。
  • Darren drove at a terrific speed.达伦以惊人的速度驾车。
29 rely 2V3x7     
vi.依赖,依靠;信赖,信任
参考例句:
  • I rely upon you to finish the work on time.我相信你会准时完成这项工作的。
  • You should rely on your own efforts.你应该靠自己的努力。
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