环球英语 — 79：Wedding Blues

　　Voice 1
Hello. I’m Mike Procter.
Voice 2
And I’m Marina Santee. Welcome to Spotlight¹. This programme uses a special English method of broadcasting. It is easier for people to understand, no matter where in the world they live.
Voice 3
‘It was strange. We had spent months saving² money and planning. We wanted to make sure everything was perfect. Then, in a single day it was all over. I thought what now?’
Voice 4
‘There did not seem to be anything to talk about afterwards. There was nothing to look forward to. I felt really depressed³ - it was horrible⁴.’
Voice 3
‘Afterwards I wondered what it was all for. I suppose I just expected more.’
Voice 1
‘For better or worse - till death do us part.’ On the day of their wedding, a man and a woman promise to stay together for life. But what happens when the man or woman of your dreams suddenly seems to change? And it all happens after one day - your wedding day! The day you got married!
Voice 2
More and more people are experiencing the ‘wedding blues⁵’. In other words, after they get married they feel depressed, ‘blue’. This kind of experience is called postnuptial depression⁶.
Voice 1
Hayley Brown is thirty-one [31] years old. She is one of many women who have experienced⁷ postnuptial depression. She spent eighteen months planning the big event - the wedding! She and her future husband wanted everything to be perfect! The time leading up to the wedding was full! Plans, plans and more plans! There was the list of people to invite. There were the flowers, the food, the place, the people and the clothes! And then there was the honeymoon⁹ - where to go for their holiday after the wedding. But, after all this - suddenly there was nothing to plan! When they returned from their honeymoon, Hayley felt depressed. She said,
Voice 3
‘Like lots of women I went on a diet nine months before I got married. I wanted to look good on the day. But afterwards I wondered what it was all for.’
Voice 2
Hayley is not alone! Philip Hodson is a member of the British Association¹⁰ for Counselling and Psychotherapy. He said that one in ten women suffer from postnuptial depression. So what are the causes? And, what can they do about it?
Voice 1
Doctor Jane Greer is a marriage and family advisor¹¹. She says that a major cause of problems is raised expectations. A husband and a wife usually know each other before they marry. They know what each other can and cannot do. But marriage somehow changes their expectations.
Voice 2
So, lower⁸ your expectations and all will be fine? Well, not exactly! But looking at things as they really are will help! Many people have a false idea of love and marriage. They expect it to be like the love stories in the films. Doctor Greer says,
Voice 3
‘Do not feel troubled if your husband cannot fix everything around the house. A wedding ring on your finger does not make him Super-husband. And it does not make you Super-wife.’
Voice 1
Marriage needs work straight away, says Doctor Greer. You should know this from the start. Then, you are less likely to get a horrible shock later. You should make time for each other from the beginning. Then you can avoid problems later on.
Voice 2
Experts give simple useful ideas to avoid the ‘wedding blues;
Voice 1
After you marry, start a new pastime¹², something you enjoy. It could be an exercise class. It could be painting. It could be running! Anything! You will have spent many months filling your time with wedding plans. So, you need to do something to fill that time. This can be with your husband or wife. Or it can be without. But do not do everything together! If you do, you may start to miss being independent.
Voice 2
Ask your successful married friends for help and advice!
Voice 1
Seek advice before you get married. Go to your local church or advice centre.
Voice 2
Make time for each other.
Voice 1
Remember, conflict¹³ does not mean it is all over. Relationships take work.
Voice 2
Talk to your husband or wife about your feelings. He or she may be feeling the same way.
Voice 1
Do not expect marriage to be the answer to all your problems.
Voice 2
Try and keep your love alive after the honeymoon!
Voice 1
If your feelings of depression do not go away - seek help from a doctor.
Voice 2
And finally, do not follow the lead of the famous like Britney Spears¹⁴ or J-Lo! Give your marriage some time!
Voice 1
Paula Hall is a Relationship Psychotherapist. She helps married people. Paula offers advice on the Internet. She says the most common areas of disagreements¹⁵ are money, housework and sex. But she says that often these arguments have deeper roots. For example, a husband and wife may argue about money. But the real problem could be about a person’s sense of value or power in the relationship. Paula says,
Voice 3
‘We all need to feel valued as human beings. But there are times when the way our husband or wife spends money can make us feel worthless¹⁶.’
‘Often the real issues¹⁷ are about fairness¹⁸, respect, care and love.’
Voice 2
Experts say that these are things that every marriage needs to succeed in the long term - respect, care and love. But how do husbands and wives manage this every day? Every month? Every year?
I spoke¹⁹ to one of our recently married producers. I asked her how she and her husband managed. She said,
Voice 3
‘Marriage is a great joy. But it is not always easy. One thing that helps us is turning to God each day. We pray about our marriage. We ask God to help us to always respect each other. We pray that we will always act as a team, even during the difficult times. I pray for my husband. And he prays for me. It is hard to be angry with someone whom you pray for daily!
We have found that when we invite God into our marriage, it is stronger. We feel closer. We feel more love for each other. When we forget to put God first we start to feel a distance between us. We fight more. And we are not as patient with each others mistakes. God is a tie that helps hold us together. The Christian²⁰ Bible²¹ says, ‘if God is for us who can be against us?’
 

1 spotlight   

n.公众注意的中心，聚光灯，探照灯，视听，注意，醒目

参考例句：

• This week the spotlight is on the world of fashion.本周引人瞩目的是时装界。
• The spotlight followed her round the stage.聚光灯的光圈随着她在舞台上转。

2 saving   

n.节省，节约；[pl.]储蓄金，存款

参考例句：

• Energy saving is term strategic policy of our country.节约能源是我国长期的战略国策。
• Old-fashioned housewives were usually very saving.旧时的家庭主妇通常都很节俭。

3 depressed   

adj.沮丧的，抑郁的，不景气的，萧条的

参考例句：

• When he was depressed,he felt utterly divorced from reality.他心情沮丧时就感到完全脱离了现实。
• His mother was depressed by the sad news.这个坏消息使他的母亲意志消沉。

4 horrible   

adj.可怕的，极可憎的，极可厌的

参考例句：

• This is a horrible monster.这是一个可怕的怪物。
• That is a horrible accident.那是一次可怕的事故。

5 blues   

n.抑郁，沮丧；布鲁斯音乐

参考例句：

• She was in the back of a smoky bar singing the blues.她在烟雾弥漫的酒吧深处唱着布鲁斯歌曲。
• He was in the blues on account of his failure in business.他因事业失败而意志消沉。

6 depression   

n.压抑，抑制，沮丧；萧条，衰退

参考例句：

• During a depression money circulates slowly.在商业萧条时期，货币流通滞缓。
• He suffers from acute depression.他患有严重的忧郁症。

7 experienced   

adj.有经验的；经验丰富的，熟练的

参考例句：

• Experienced seamen will advise you about sailing in this weather.有经验的海员会告诉你在这种天气下的航行情况。
• Perhaps you and I had better change over;you are more experienced.也许我们的工作还是对换一下好，你比我更有经验。

8 lower   

adj.较低的；地位较低的，低等的；低年级的；下游的；vt.放下，降下，放低；减低

参考例句：

• Society is divided into upper,middle and lower classes.社会分为上层、中层和下层阶级。
• This price is his minimum;he refuses to lower it any further.这个价格是他开的最低价，他拒绝再作任何降价。

9 honeymoon   

n.蜜月（假期）；vi.度蜜月

参考例句：

• While on honeymoon in Bali,she learned to scuba dive.她在巴厘岛度蜜月时学会了带水肺潜水。
• The happy pair are leaving for their honeymoon.这幸福的一对就要去度蜜月了。

10 association   

n.联盟，协会，社团；交往，联合；联想

参考例句：

• Our long association with your company has brought great benefits.我方和贵公司的长期合作带来了巨大的利益。
• I broke away from the association ten years ago.我10年前就脱离了那个团体。

11 advisor   

n.顾问，指导老师，劝告者

参考例句：

• They employed me as an advisor.他们聘请我当顾问。
• The professor is engaged as a technical advisor.这位教授被聘请为技术顾问。

12 pastime   

n.消遣，娱乐

参考例句：

• Playing chess is his favourite pastime.下棋是他最喜爱的消遣。
• Baseball is the national pastime.棒球是全民性的休闲运动。

13 conflict   

n.冲突，矛盾，争执；vi.争执，撞斗，冲突，抵触

参考例句：

• Your statement is in conflict with the rest of the evidence.你的陈述同其余证据有矛盾。
• The conflict between them seems ceaseless.他们之间冲突似乎没个止息。

14 spears   

矛( spear的名词复数 )； 枪； （某些植物的）嫩枝； 幼芽

参考例句：

• Spears hurtled against shields. 矛猛击在盾上。
• With a flourish of their spears, the two men started sparring with each other. 两人拿长枪一比试，便打了起来。

15 disagreements   

n.分歧，意见不合( disagreement的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Despite our disagreements, we have been able to find some common ground. 尽管我们存在分歧，但仍能找到一些共同点。
• These disagreements are symptomatic of the tensions within the party. 出现意见分歧表明该党内部的关系紧张。

16 worthless   

adj.无价值的，无用的，可鄙的

参考例句：

• Don't read worthless books.不要读没有用的书。
• He was worthless as a painter.他作为画家一事无成。

17 issues   

（水等的）流出( issue的名词复数 )； 出口； 放出； （特别重要或大众关注的）问题

参考例句：

• Let's start with the more easily addressable issues. 我们先从较容易处理的问题着手。
• Employment and taxation are the bread-and-butter issues of politics. 就业和征税是很重要的政治问题。

18 fairness   

n.公平，正直，美好，明亮，清晰，适当，顺利性

参考例句：

• Their reputation for fairness is a matter for pride.他们公正的名声令他们引以为豪。
• Her sunburnt skin accentuates the fairness of her hair.她那晒黑了的皮肤突出了她的一头金发。

19 spoke   

n.（车轮的）辐条；轮辐；破坏某人的计划；阻挠某人的行动 v.讲，谈（speak的过去式）；说；演说；从某种观点来说

参考例句：

• They sourced the spoke nuts from our company.他们的轮辐螺帽是从我们公司获得的。
• The spokes of a wheel are the bars that connect the outer ring to the centre.辐条是轮子上连接外圈与中心的条棒。

20 Christian   

adj.基督教徒的；n.基督教徒

参考例句：

• They always addressed each other by their Christian name.他们总是以教名互相称呼。
• His mother is a sincere Christian.他母亲是个虔诚的基督教徒。

21 bible   

n.《圣经》；得到权威支持的典籍

参考例句：

• According to the Bible we are all the seed of Adam.根据《圣经》所说的，我们都是亚当的后裔。
• This dictionary should be your Bible when studying English.学习英语时，这本字典应是你的主要参考书。