伍迪单口相声精选 第4期:大师雷纳尔多The Great Renaldo

 　　Listen to this. I was watching one night the Ed Sullivan Show, and Sullivan had on a hypnotist called The Great Renaldo.

　　听听这则故事。有天晚上我正在看“爱德·沙利文秀”，沙利文请来个催眠师，人称雷纳尔多大师。

　　And Renaldo got four guys up of the audience, and he hypnotized them, and he said to them "You think you are a fire engine".

　　雷纳尔多从观众里面挑出四人上台，对他们实施了催眠，他对他们说：“想象一下你是一辆救火车。”

　　And I'm home watching and I get drowsy¹ and I fall asleep.

　　我是在家中看的电视，倦意袭来我就睡着了。

　　And I wake up an hour later, I turn the set off, and suddenly I am seized with an uncontrollable impulse to dress up in my red flannel² underwear.

　　一小时之后我醒了过来，我关掉电视。可忽然之间我被某种无法控制的冲动牢牢抓住，即刻穿好一身红色法兰绒内衣。

　　Which I do, and I'm looking at myself in the mirror.

　　穿完后我对着镜子打量一下自己。

　　Suddenly the phone rings, I burst out the front door and start running down Fifth Avenue fast, making a sirens noise.

　　突然电话铃响起，我一下冲出前门，飞快地跑上第五大街，嘴里还响着警笛。

　　At Fourteenth Street I hid a guy at an intersection³, who was also wearing red flannel underwear.

　　在十四街的一个十字路口，我碰到一个家伙也穿着红色法兰绒内衣。

　　We decided⁴ to work as one truck.

　　我们决定整合成一辆卡车。

　　We start running down to the Village. Suddenly two guys in red flannel underwear pass us running uptown.

　　我们开始朝着格林尼治村方向跑去。突然又有两个身穿红色法兰绒内衣的家伙从我们身边经过，往城外跑去。

　　We figured, they must know where the fire is. We turned and followed.

　　我们合计他们一定知道哪儿着火了，于是我们调头跟着他们。

　　At Eighty-sixth Street a cop flags us down, because there is four guys in red flannel underwear running in the street.

　　到八十六街时有个警察挥舞着旗子将我们拦下来，因为我们四个身着红色法兰绒内衣在街上疯跑。

　　He said, "You'er coming down to headquarters, get into the car."

　　他说：“你们得跟我去局子里一趟，赶快上车。”

　　I start giggling⁵ hysterically⁶, because this jerk is trying to get a fire engine into a lousy little Chevy.

　　我开始歇斯底里地咯咯大笑起来，因为这个傻瓜想把救火车塞进一辆破雪佛兰车里。

　　And down at the station there is hundreds of guys in red flannel underwear.

　　到了警局，那里已经聚集着几百个身穿红色法兰绒内衣的家伙。

　　These...I should just add, parenthetically, these stories are true. These things actually happened to me.

　　这些事，我得说明一下，这些故事都是真事，这些事情的确在我身上发生过。

　　I don't make them up. My life is a series of these crises that I came home one night, some month ago, and I went to the closet in my bedroom, and a moth⁷ ate my sports jacket.

　　我没有瞎编。我的一生就是一系列这样的危机。比如几个月之前的夜里我回到家里，我打开我卧室里的壁橱，发现一只蛀虫吃掉了我的粗花呢夹克。

　　He was laying on the floor, nauseous, you know.

　　它躺在地板上，正犯恶心呢。

　　It was a yellow and green striped jacket, y'know.

　　那是一件黄绿条纹的夹克。

　　The little fat moth laying there, groaning⁸, you know, part of a sleeve hanging out of his mouth.

　　那只肥肥的小蛀虫躺在那儿，呻吟着，剩下的一部分袖子挂在它嘴里。

　　I gave him two plain brown socks. I said, "Eat one now and eat one in a half hour."

　　我又给了它两只纯褐色的袜子。我说：“现在先服一只，隔半小时再服一只。”

1 drowsy   

adj.昏昏欲睡的，令人发困的

参考例句：

• Exhaust fumes made him drowsy and brought on a headache.废气把他熏得昏昏沉沉，还引起了头疼。
• I feel drowsy after lunch every day.每天午饭后我就想睡觉。

2 flannel   

n.法兰绒；法兰绒衣服

参考例句：

• She always wears a grey flannel trousers.她总是穿一条灰色法兰绒长裤。
• She was looking luscious in a flannel shirt.她穿着法兰绒裙子，看上去楚楚动人。

3 intersection   

n.交集，十字路口，交叉点；[计算机] 交集

参考例句：

• There is a stop sign at an intersection.在交叉路口处有停车标志。
• Bridges are used to avoid the intersection of a railway and a highway.桥用来避免铁路和公路直接交叉。

4 decided   

adj.决定了的，坚决的；明显的，明确的

参考例句：

• This gave them a decided advantage over their opponents.这使他们比对手具有明显的优势。
• There is a decided difference between British and Chinese way of greeting.英国人和中国人打招呼的方式有很明显的区别。

5 giggling   

v.咯咯地笑( giggle的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• We just sat there giggling like naughty schoolchildren. 我们只是坐在那儿像调皮的小学生一样的咯咯地傻笑。 来自《简明英汉词典》
• I can't stand her giggling, she's so silly. 她吃吃地笑，叫我真受不了，那样子傻透了。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

6 hysterically   

ad. 歇斯底里地

参考例句：

• The children giggled hysterically. 孩子们歇斯底里地傻笑。
• She sobbed hysterically, and her thin body was shaken. 她歇斯底里地抽泣着，她瘦弱的身体哭得直颤抖。

7 moth   

n.蛾，蛀虫

参考例句：

• A moth was fluttering round the lamp.有一只蛾子扑打着翅膀绕着灯飞。
• The sweater is moth-eaten.毛衣让蛀虫咬坏了。

8 groaning   

adj. 呜咽的, 呻吟的 动词groan的现在分词形式

参考例句：

• She's always groaning on about how much she has to do. 她总抱怨自己干很多活儿。
• The wounded man lay there groaning, with no one to help him. 受伤者躺在那里呻吟着，无人救助。