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夫妻生活对婚姻的影响

时间:2021-03-12 03:27来源:互联网 提供网友:nan   字体: [ ]
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Natalie Morales: Willer, thank you. This morning on Today's Woman you've heard the expression 'No sex please. We're married.' Well, it's an old joke. But for millions of husbands and wives, keeping the flames of passion burning is no laughing matter. Apart from the benefits, experts say, that a healthy sex life can also be an important sign of a relationship's overall happiness. Today, contributor Dr. Judith Reichman is the author of I'M NOT IN THE MOOD and the relationship expert Michelle Wiener Davis is the author of The Sex Starved Marriage. Good morning to both of you, thanks for being here.

Both: Good morning.

Natalie Morales: Such an important topic, obviously for our healthy relationships. And Michelle, let me start with you. How do you define a sexless marriage? And is it more of a widespread problem than we even know of?

Michelle Wiener Davis: Well, the research is telling us that if couples are having sex fewer times than ten a year, uh..that it is really a sex starved marriage. But I tend to look at it in a slightly different way. Because unlike vitamins, there are no daily minimum requirements for a healthy sex life. uhm, what, so, what happens so often in the couples in my practice is that one spouse1 is desperately2 yearning3 for more physical touch , more closeness, more sex and the other one is just figuring "uh, it's just sex.

Natalie Morales: Is that one spouse more of men wanting it more often than women, or does it go both ways?

Michelle Wiener Davis: I'm so glad that you're asking that question, because we always hear about women not being in the mood and it's true that...

Natalie Morales: Right! I got a headache.

Michelle Wiener Davis: Right! Exactly. And it's true that more women than men complain about that. But I am convinced that low sexual desire in men is America's best-kept secret. And when I talk to my colleagues, they do sex there will be, they all agree that men feel so much shame about admitting that they're just not in the mood, because virility4 and you know...

Natalie Morales: Equated5 with their manliness6.

Michelle: Absolutely, absolutely.

Natalie: So how much of it is would you say physical versus7 mental, the psychological factors that are involved?

Michelle: Well. It's definitely inseparable, I mean that all the issues that I'm sure you've got to hear are overlapped8.

Judith: I mean, as a person who takes care of these physical problems and talks to couples and women about their actual medical issues, I would say that 75% of the time it is psychological, and only 25% of the time, especially in the younger couples do I find that there's something medical going on.

Natalie: Let's talk about what's happening, because children obviously a huge factor, once you have children, well, priority shift, right? What is happening in that case? Are we seeing more of a change or transition in the relationship? And Michelle, can you start to rekindle9 the flame?

Michelle: Well, clearly, children are a big issue, we become such a child-focus culture that our chil.., we're running our kids to lessons and all sorts of activities, and the marriage gets put on the backburner. I always tell couples that the very best thing that you can do for you rela.., for you children is to put your marriage first. But there are lots of other relationship issues. So many people tell me when there are underline resentments10 and anger; it really stands in the way of feeling close and therefore wanting to be physically11 close.

Natalie: Such feeling seems to happen to the wife that "I am doing enough around the house,(absolutely) you can kinna take that out on the others, on this house".(Absolutely.)

Judith: But even if having babies, I mean there are some physical changes that women go through. For example, when a woman is breastfeeding,(Sure.) and a couple of weeks ago, we talked about how really important it was to breastfeed, hopefully for a year, during that period of time, there's an increase in the production of something called prolactin, and that's the hormone12 that lets the milk down. And that actually prevents ovulation, decreases hormones13, so here are these young active women mothers and they're having thinning and dryness in the vaginal area that actually leads to a, we call it Atrophic14 Vaginitis and sex hurts, or something hurts, you don't wanna do it. (Sure.) So often the complaint from women who had babies is "I don't wanna do it, it hurts." And then they remember that hurt even after they stop breastfeeding, it continues to become a habit. And voila, this couple is no longer having satisfactory sexual relationships.

Natalie: And what about older couples? I imagine there are more medical issues as well.

Judith: Absolutely! As we go through peri-menopause and menopause(Sure.),there are these fluctuating hormones, and let's face it, they affected15 our brain, our body, our genital organs, and if you have less estrogen, there's less moisture, there's less blood flow into the vaginas. So arousal is affected and then many people talk about testosterone and that too may go down. And it's not just total testosterone, it's someone we call free testosterone, that which is unbound like Sampson. And basically we probably need that too for sexual response. That can change in peri-menopause and menopause. And we sometimes talk about how we can address this and what kind of hormones we can possibly use.

Natalie: And when I get into that and a woman, she just..

Judith: Yeah! But if a woman comes in and says to me: Oh, you know, sex is no good, I'm not having relationships, my marriage sexes, test me.

Natalie: Right!

Judith: And I'll say something like: "Well! Does it become OK when you go away on a vacation and you have a romantic evening?" And she says, "Yes."Then I'll say "You're wasting your money, we might as well not test. It's not hormone normal."

Natalie: Ok


点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 spouse Ah6yK     
n.配偶(指夫或妻)
参考例句:
  • Her spouse will come to see her on Sunday.她的丈夫星期天要来看她。
  • What is the best way to keep your spouse happy in the marriage?在婚姻中保持配偶幸福的最好方法是什么?
2 desperately cu7znp     
adv.极度渴望地,绝望地,孤注一掷地
参考例句:
  • He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
  • He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。
3 yearning hezzPJ     
a.渴望的;向往的;怀念的
参考例句:
  • a yearning for a quiet life 对宁静生活的向往
  • He felt a great yearning after his old job. 他对过去的工作有一种强烈的渴想。
4 virility JUKzS     
n.雄劲,丈夫气
参考例句:
  • He wanted his sons to become strong,virile,and athletic like himself.他希望他的儿子们能长得像他一样强壮、阳刚而又健美。
  • He is a tall,virile man with rugged good looks.他是个身材高大、体魄健壮、相貌粗犷英俊的男子。
5 equated 4e5ed63ebe0d19855344c43d4526ea4f     
adj.换算的v.认为某事物(与另一事物)相等或相仿( equate的过去式和过去分词 );相当于;等于;把(一事物) 和(另一事物)等同看待
参考例句:
  • Production costs for the movie equated to around 30% of income. 这部电影的制作成本相当于收益的30%。
  • Politics cannot be equated with art. 政治不能同艺术等同起来。
6 manliness 8212c0384b8e200519825a99755ad0bc     
刚毅
参考例句:
  • She was really fond of his strength, his wholesome looks, his manliness. 她真喜欢他的坚强,他那健康的容貌,他的男子气概。
  • His confidence, his manliness and bravery, turn his wit into wisdom. 他的自信、男子气概和勇敢将他的风趣变为智慧。
7 versus wi7wU     
prep.以…为对手,对;与…相比之下
参考例句:
  • The big match tonight is England versus Spain.今晚的大赛是英格兰对西班牙。
  • The most exciting game was Harvard versus Yale.最富紧张刺激的球赛是哈佛队对耶鲁队。
8 overlapped f19155784c00c0c252a8b4dba353c5b8     
_adj.重叠的v.部分重叠( overlap的过去式和过去分词 );(物体)部份重叠;交叠;(时间上)部份重叠
参考例句:
  • His visit and mine overlapped. 他的访问期与我的访问期有几天重叠。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Our visits to the town overlapped. 我们彼此都恰巧到那小城观光。 来自辞典例句
9 rekindle eh3yx     
v.使再振作;再点火
参考例句:
  • Nothing could rekindle her extinct passion.她激情已逝,无从心回意转。
  • Is there anything could rekindle his extinct passion?有什么事情可重燃他逝去的热情呢?
10 resentments 4e6d4b541f5fd83064d41eea9a6dec89     
(因受虐待而)愤恨,不满,怨恨( resentment的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • He could never transcend his resentments and his complexes. 他从来不能把他的怨恨和感情上的症结置之度外。
  • These local resentments burst into open revolt. 地方性反感变成公开暴动。
11 physically iNix5     
adj.物质上,体格上,身体上,按自然规律
参考例句:
  • He was out of sorts physically,as well as disordered mentally.他浑身不舒服,心绪也很乱。
  • Every time I think about it I feel physically sick.一想起那件事我就感到极恶心。
12 hormone uyky3     
n.荷尔蒙,激素,内分泌
参考例句:
  • Hormone implants are used as growth boosters.激素植入物被用作生长辅助剂。
  • This hormone interacts closely with other hormones in the body.这种荷尔蒙与体內其他荷尔蒙紧密地相互作用。
13 hormones hormones     
n. 荷尔蒙,激素 名词hormone的复数形式
参考例句:
  • This hormone interacts closely with other hormones in the body. 这种荷尔蒙与体內其他荷尔蒙紧密地相互作用。
  • The adrenals produce a large per cent of a man's sex hormones. 肾上腺分泌人体的大部分性激素。
14 atrophic 3f1cb1d12d1f65e253d6f5deccd65547     
adj.萎缩的
参考例句:
  • The relationship of atrophic gastritis to cancer has been debated. 萎缩性胃炎与胃癌的关系尚有争论。 来自辞典例句
  • But arrived 90 time later period, hanjiang shipping is in atrophic condition. 但是到了90年代后期,汉江航运处于萎缩状态。 来自互联网
15 affected TzUzg0     
adj.不自然的,假装的
参考例句:
  • She showed an affected interest in our subject.她假装对我们的课题感到兴趣。
  • His manners are affected.他的态度不自然。
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