ETS官网GRE3分范文欣赏

 　　Essay Response — Score 3

　　There is no current proof that advancing technology will deteriorate¹ the ability of humans to think. On the contrary, advancements² in technology had advanced our vast knowledge in many fields, opening opportunities for further understanding and achievement. For example, the problem of dibilitating illnesses and diseases such as alzheimer's disease is slowing being solved by the technological³ advancements in stem cell research. The future ability of growing new brain cells and the possibility to reverse the onset⁴ of alzheimer's is now becoming a reality. This shows our initiative as humans to better our health demonstrates greater ability of humans to?think.

　　One aspect where the ability of humans may initially⁵ be seen as an example of deteriorating⁶ minds is the use of internet and cell phones. In the past humans had to seek out information in many different enviroments and aspects of life. Now humans can sit in a chair and type anything into a computer and get an answer. Our reliance on this type of technology can be detrimental⁸ if not regulated and regularily substituted for other information sources such as human interactions and hands on learning. I think if humans understand that we should not have such a reliance on computer technology, that we as a species will advance further by utilizing⁹ the opportunity of computer technology as well as the other sources of information outside of a computer. Supplementing our knowledge with internet access is surely a way for technology to solve problems while continually advancing the human?race.

　　Reader Commentary for Essay Response — Score 3This essay never moves beyond a superficial discussion of the issue. The writer attempts to develop two points: that advancements in technology have progressed our knowledge in many fields and that supplementing rather than relying on technology is "surely a way for technology to solve problems while continually advancing the human race." Each point, then, is developed with relevant but insufficient¹⁰ evidence. In discussing the potential of technology to advance knowledge in many fields (a broad subject, rife¹¹ with possible examples), the writer uses only one limited and very brief example from a specific field (medicine and stem-cell?research).

　　Development of the second point is hindered by a lack of specificity and organization. The writer creates what might be best described as an outline. The writer cites a need for regulation/supplementation and warns of the detriment⁷ of over-reliance upon technology.? However, the explanation of both the problem and solution is vague and limited ("Our reliance ... can be detrimental. If humans understand that we should not have such a reliance ... we will advance further"). There is neither explanation of consequences nor clarification of what is meant by "supplementing." This second paragraph is a series of generalizations¹² that are loosely connected and lack a much-needed?grounding.

　　In the essay, there are some minor¹³ language errors and a few more serious flaws (e.g., "The future ability of growing new brain cells" or "One aspect where the ability of humans may initially be seen as an example of deteriorating minds"). Despite the accumulation of such flaws, the writer's meaning is generally clear. Thus, this essay earns a score of?3.

 

1 deteriorate   

v.变坏；恶化；退化

参考例句：

• Do you think relations between China and Japan will continue to deteriorate?你认为中日关系会继续恶化吗？
• He held that this would only cause the situation to deteriorate further.他认为，这只会使局势更加恶化。

2 advancements   

n.（级别的）晋升( advancement的名词复数 )；前进；进展；促进

参考例句：

• Today, the pace of life is increasing with technological advancements. 当今， 随着科技进步，生活节奏不断增快。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
• Great advancements in drought prediction have been made in recent years. 近年来，人们对干旱灾害的预报研究取得了长足的进步。 来自互联网

3 technological   

adj.技术的；工艺的

参考例句：

• A successful company must keep up with the pace of technological change.一家成功的公司必须得跟上技术变革的步伐。
• Today,the pace of life is increasing with technological advancements.当今， 随着科技进步，生活节奏不断增快。

4 onset   

n.进攻，袭击，开始，突然开始

参考例句：

• The drug must be taken from the onset of the infection.这种药必须在感染的最初期就开始服用。
• Our troops withstood the onset of the enemy.我们的部队抵挡住了敌人的进攻。

5 initially   

adv.最初，开始

参考例句：

• The ban was initially opposed by the US.这一禁令首先遭到美国的反对。
• Feathers initially developed from insect scales.羽毛最初由昆虫的翅瓣演化而来。

6 deteriorating   

恶化，变坏( deteriorate的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• The weather conditions are deteriorating. 天气变得越来越糟。
• I was well aware of the bad morale and the deteriorating factories. 我很清楚，大家情绪低落，各个工厂越搞越坏。

7 detriment   

n.损害；损害物，造成损害的根源

参考例句：

• Smoking is a detriment to one's health.吸烟危害健康。
• His lack of education is a serious detriment to his career.他的未受教育对他的事业是一种严重的妨碍。

8 detrimental   

adj.损害的，造成伤害的

参考例句：

• We know that heat treatment is detrimental to milk.我们知道加热对牛奶是不利的。
• He wouldn't accept that smoking was detrimental to health.他不相信吸烟有害健康。

9 utilizing   

v.利用，使用( utilize的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• Utilizing an assembler to produce a machine-language program. 用汇编程序产生机器语言的过程。 来自辞典例句
• The study and use of devices utilizing properties of materials near absolute zero in temperature. 对材料在接近绝对零度时的特性进行研究和利用的学科。 来自辞典例句

10 insufficient   

adj.(for，of)不足的，不够的

参考例句：

• There was insufficient evidence to convict him.没有足够证据给他定罪。
• In their day scientific knowledge was insufficient to settle the matter.在他们的时代，科学知识还不能足以解决这些问题。

11 rife   

adj.(指坏事情)充斥的，流行的，普遍的

参考例句：

• Disease is rife in the area.疾病在这一区很流行。
• Corruption was rife before the election.选举之前腐败盛行。

12 generalizations   

一般化( generalization的名词复数 )； 普通化； 归纳； 概论

参考例句：

• But Pearlson cautions that the findings are simply generalizations. 但是波尔森提醒人们，这些发现是简单的综合资料。 来自英汉非文学 - 生命科学 - 大脑与疾病
• They were of great service in correcting my jejune generalizations. 他们纠正了我不成熟的泛泛之论，帮了我大忙。

13 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。