职场交际5大尴尬禁区

  Everyone tries to network, but few people do it well, often making the same basic mistakes.Here’s what not to do when you’re trying to expand or leverage¹ your network:

　　每个人都尝试建立自己的社交网络，但是真正做得好的却寥寥无几。很多人都会犯一些基本错误。当你在试图扩大或利用自己的人际网络时，不要再犯以下的错误了：

　　1. Try to take before you give.

　　还没付出就想有回报。

　　The goal of networking is to connect with people who can help you make a sale, get a referral, establish a contact, etc. When we network, we want something.

　　建立人际网络的目的在于与人联系，希望便未来在销售、引荐、联系等需要的时候派上用场。 总而言之，当我们建立人际网络时，都想从中得到点什么。

　　But at first, never ask for what you want. In fact you may never ask for what you want. Forget about what you can get and focus on what you can provide. Giving is the only way to establish a real connection and relationship. Focus solely² on what you can get out of the connection and you will never make meaningful, mutually beneficial connections.

　　但是注意不要一开始就索取你想要的。 事实上最好永远也别这么做。把想要的东西忘记，着重于你所能提供的。 给予是建立良好关系的唯一途径。 如果一心只想索取，那么永远也不可能能建立起真正有利并且互惠的关系。

　　When you network, it’s all about them, not you。

　　与人交往时，他们才是主角。

　　2. Assume others should care about your needs.

　　认为别人都应该在乎你的需求。

　　Maybe you’re desperate. Maybe partnering with a major player in your industry could instantly transform red ink into black. No one cares. No one should care. Those are your problems and your needs.

　　或许你很绝望，或许你的商业伙伴能够瞬间让你扭亏为盈。但是事实上，没有人会在乎你的事情。 也没有人有这个义务。那些都是你自己的事。

　　Never expect others to respond to your needs. People may sympathize but helping³ you is not their responsibility. The only way to make connections is to care about the needs of others first. Ask how they’re doing. Ask what could help them.

　　不要期望别人在乎你的需求。 人们或许会很同情，但是帮助你不是他们的责任。与人交往，从关心别人的需求开始。询问他们的近况，并在需要时伸出援手。

　　Care about others first; then, and only then, will they truly care back.

　　先关怀他人，然后，也只有这样，才能换来别人的关怀。

　　3. Take the shotgun approach。

　　采取撒网策略

　　Some people network with anyone, tossing out business cards like confetti. Networking isn’t a numbers game. Find someone you can help, determine whether they might (someday) be able to help you, and then approach them on your own terms. (according to the conditions that you decide)

　　有些人交朋友就像天女散花一样。 与人交往，不是靠量取胜。 把目标放在你能提供帮助的人上面， 判断他们对你是否(将来)对你有用， 再根据你的分析去接近他们。

　　Always select the people you want to network with. And keep your list relatively⁴ small, because there is no way to build meaningful connections with dozens or hundreds of people.

　　建立人际网络要有所选择。尽量保持相对较小人际圈，因为你无法跟上百个人都建立有意义的联系。

　　4. Assume tools create connections。

　　认为社交工具真的有用

　　Twitter followers⁵, Facebook friends, and LinkedIn connections are great—if you do something with those connections. In all likelihood your Twitter followers aren’t reading your tweets. Your Facebook friends rarely visit your page. Your LinkedIn connections aren’t checking your updates.

　　在推特上有粉丝，在脸谱网上有好友，在关系网上有联络，这些挺好—如果你能够很好的利用的话。 但是十有八九，你推特上的粉丝不会阅读你的状态，脸谱上的好友也不会来访你的主页，关系网的连接对你的近况也没有兴趣。

　　Tools provide a convenient way to establish connections, but to maintain those connections you still have to put in the work. Any tool that is easy or automated⁶ won’t establish the connections you really need.

　　这些社交工具让社交变得更加方便，但是要维持这些关系需要投入真功夫。 任何简易或是自动的工具都不能帮你建立起真正需要的人际网络。

　　5. Reach too high。

　　目标人群不切实际

　　If your company provides financial services, establishing a connection with Warren Buffett would be great. Or say you need seed capital; hooking up with Mark Cuban would be awesome⁷. Awesome and almost impossible.

　　如果你的公司业务是金融服务，那么和沃伦。巴菲特结识倒是不错。或者说你需要创业资金，那么能搭上马克。库班简直就是帅呆了。帅是帅，但是几乎不可能。

　　The best connections are mutually beneficial. What can you offer Buffett or Cuban? Not much. You may desperately⁸ want to connect with the top people in your industry, but the right to connect is not based on want or need. You must earn the right to connect. Find people who can benefit from your knowledge and insight or your connections.

　　最好的关系是双方能够互惠互利的。你能给巴菲克或者是库班什么呢？没什么吧。 你或许拼命地想要和这些顶尖人士结识， 但是这种结识的权利不是你想要或者是你需要就会有的。 你必须要去争取这种权利。那些能够从你的知识与见解或者人际关系中获利的人们才是正确的选择。

　　The “status” level of your connections is irrelevant⁹. All that matters is whether you can help each other reach your goals.

　　在人际网络中，地位是无关紧要的。 重要的是双方之间是否能够互相帮助，达到自己的目标。

1 leverage   

n.力量，影响；杠杆作用，杠杆的力量

参考例句：

• We'll have to use leverage to move this huge rock.我们不得不借助杠杆之力来移动这块巨石。
• He failed in the project because he could gain no leverage. 因为他没有影响力，他的计划失败了。

2 solely   

adv.仅仅，唯一地

参考例句：

• Success should not be measured solely by educational achievement.成功与否不应只用学业成绩来衡量。
• The town depends almost solely on the tourist trade.这座城市几乎完全靠旅游业维持。

3 helping   

n.食物的一份&adj.帮助人的，辅助的

参考例句：

• The poor children regularly pony up for a second helping of my hamburger. 那些可怜的孩子们总是要求我把我的汉堡包再给他们一份。
• By doing this, they may at times be helping to restore competition. 这样一来, 他在某些时候,有助于竞争的加强。

4 relatively   

adv.比较...地，相对地

参考例句：

• The rabbit is a relatively recent introduction in Australia.兔子是相对较新引入澳大利亚的物种。
• The operation was relatively painless.手术相对来说不痛。

5 followers   

追随者( follower的名词复数 )； 用户； 契据的附面； 从动件

参考例句：

• the followers of Mahatma Gandhi 圣雄甘地的拥护者
• The reformer soon gathered a band of followers round him. 改革者很快就获得一群追随者支持他。

6 automated   

a.自动化的

参考例句：

• The entire manufacturing process has been automated. 整个生产过程已自动化。
• Automated Highway System (AHS) is recently regarded as one subsystem of Intelligent Transport System (ITS). 近年来自动公路系统(Automated Highway System,AHS)，作为智能运输系统的子系统之一越来越受到重视。

7 awesome   

adj.令人惊叹的，难得吓人的，很好的

参考例句：

• The church in Ireland has always exercised an awesome power.爱尔兰的教堂一直掌握着令人敬畏的权力。
• That new white convertible is totally awesome.那辆新的白色折篷汽车简直棒极了.

8 desperately   

adv.极度渴望地，绝望地，孤注一掷地

参考例句：

• He was desperately seeking a way to see her again.他正拼命想办法再见她一面。
• He longed desperately to be back at home.他非常渴望回家。

9 irrelevant   

adj.不恰当的，无关系的，不相干的

参考例句：

• That is completely irrelevant to the subject under discussion.这跟讨论的主题完全不相关。
• A question about arithmetic is irrelevant in a music lesson.在音乐课上，一个数学的问题是风马牛不相及的。