母爱的真谛—永远不后悔

 　　Time is running out for my friend. While we are sitting at lunch she casually¹ mentions she and her husband are thinking of starting a family. "We're taking a survey,"she says, half-joking. "Do you think I should have a baby?""It will change your life," I say, carefully keeping my tone neutral. "I know,"she says, "no more sleeping in on weekends, no more spontaneous holidays..."But that's not what I mean at all. I look at my friend, trying to decide what to tell her. I want her to know what she will never learn in childbirth classes. I want to tell her that the physical wounds of child bearing will heal, but becoming a mother will leave her with an emotional wound so raw that she will be vulnerable forever.

　　I consider warning her that she will never again read a newspaper without thinking: "What if that had been MY child?" That every plane crash, every house fire will haunt her. That when she sees pictures of starving children, she will wonder if anything could be worse than watching your child die. I look at her carefully manicured nails and stylish² suit and think that no matter how sophisticated she is, becoming a mother will reduce her to the primitive³ level of a bear protecting her cub⁴.

　　I feel I should warn her that no matter how many years she has invested in her career, she will be professionally derailed by motherhood. She might arrange for child care, but one day she will be going into an important business meeting, and she will think her baby's sweet smell. She will have to use every ounce of discipline to keep from running home, just to make sure her child is all right.

　　I want my friend to know that every decision will no longer be routine. That a five-year-old boy's desire to go to the men's room rather than the women's at a restaurant will become a major dilemma⁵. The issues of independence and gender⁶ identity will be weighed against the prospect⁷ that a child molester⁸ may be lurking⁹ in the lavatory¹⁰. However decisive she may be at the office, she will second-guess herself constantly as a mother.

　　Looking at my attractive friend, I want to assure her that eventually she will shed the added weight of pregnancy¹¹, but she will never feel the same about herself. That her own life, now so important, will be of less value to her once she has a child. She would give it up in a moment to save her offspring, but will also begin to hope for more years—not to accomplish her own dreams—but to watch her children accomplish theirs.

　　I want to describe to my friend the exhilaration of seeing your child learn to hit a ball. I want to capture for her the belly¹² laugh of a baby who is touching¹³ the soft fur of a dog for the first time. I want her to taste the joy that is so real it hurts.

　　My friend's look makes me realize that tears have formed in my eyes. "You'll never regret it," I say finally. Then, squeezing my friend's hand, I offer a prayer for her and me and all of the mere¹⁴ mortal women who stumble their way into this holiest of callings.

　　时光任苒，朋友已经老大不小了。我们坐在一起吃饭的时候，她漫不经心地提到她和她的丈夫正考虑要小孩。“我们正在做一项调查，”她半开玩笑地说。“你觉得我应该要个小孩“他将改变你的生活。”我小心翼翼地说道，尽量使语气保持客观。“这我知道。”她答道，“周末睡不成懒觉，再也不能随心所欲休假了……”

　　但我说的绝非这些。我注视着朋友，试图整理一下自己的思绪。我想让她知道她永远不可能在分娩课上学到的东西。我想让她知道：分娩的有形伤疤可以愈合，但是做母亲的情感伤痕却永远如新，她会因此变得十分脆弱。

　　我想告诫她：做了母亲后，每当她看报纸时就会情不自禁地联想：“如果那件事情发生在我的孩子身上将会怎样啊！”每一次飞机失事、每一场住宅火灾都会让她提心吊胆。看到那些忍饥挨饿的孩子们的照片时，她会思索：世界上还有什么比眼睁睁地看着自己的孩子饿死更惨的事情呢？我打量着她精修细剪的指甲和时尚前卫的衣服，心里想到：不管她打扮多么考究，做了母亲后，她会变得像护崽的母熊那样原始而不修边幅。

　　我觉得自己应该提醒她，不管她在工作上投入了多少年，一旦做了母亲，工作就会脱离常规。她自然可以安排他人照顾孩子，但说不定哪天她要去参加一个非常重要的商务会议，却忍不住想起宝宝身上散发的甜甜乳香。她不得不拼命克制自己，才不致于为了看看孩子是否安然无羔而中途回家。

　　我想告诉朋友，有了孩子后，她将再也不能按照惯例做出决定。在餐馆，5岁的儿子想进男厕而不愿进女厕将成为摆在她眼前的一大难题：她将在两个选择之间权衡一番：尊重孩子的独立和性别意识，还是让他进男厕所冒险被潜在的儿童性骚扰者侵害？任凭她在办公室多么果断，作为母亲，她仍经常事后后悔自己当时的决定。

　　注视着我的这位漂亮的朋友，我想让她明确地知道，她最终会恢复到怀孕前的体重，但是她对自己的感觉已然不同。她现在视为如此重要的生命将随着孩子的诞生而变得不那么宝贵。为了救自己的孩子，她时刻愿意献出自己的生命。但她也开始希望多活一些年头，不是为了实现自己的梦想，而是为了看着孩子们美梦成真。

　　我想向朋友形容自己看到孩子学会击球时的喜悦之情。我想让她留意宝宝第一次触摸狗的绒毛时的捧腹大笑。我想让她品尝快乐，尽管这快乐真实得令人心痛。

　　朋友的表情让我意识到自己已经是热泪盈眶。“你永远不会后悔，”我最后说。然后紧紧地握住朋友的手，为她、为自己、也为每一位艰难跋涉、准备响应母亲职业神圣的召唤的平凡女性献上自己的祈祷。

1 casually   

adv.漠不关心地，无动于衷地，不负责任地

参考例句：

• She remarked casually that she was changing her job.她当时漫不经心地说要换工作。
• I casually mentioned that I might be interested in working abroad.我不经意地提到我可能会对出国工作感兴趣。

2 stylish   

adj.流行的，时髦的；漂亮的，气派的

参考例句：

• He's a stylish dresser.他是个穿着很有格调的人。
• What stylish women are wearing in Paris will be worn by women all over the world.巴黎女性时装往往会引导世界时装潮流。

3 primitive   

adj.原始的；简单的；n.原(始)人，原始事物

参考例句：

• It is a primitive instinct to flee a place of danger.逃离危险的地方是一种原始本能。
• His book describes the march of the civilization of a primitive society.他的著作描述了一个原始社会的开化过程。

4 cub   

n.幼兽，年轻无经验的人

参考例句：

• The lion cub's mother was hunting for what she needs. 这只幼师的母亲正在捕猎。
• The cub licked the milk from its mother's breast. 这头幼兽吸吮着它妈妈的奶水。

5 dilemma   

n.困境，进退两难的局面

参考例句：

• I am on the horns of a dilemma about the matter.这件事使我进退两难。
• He was thrown into a dilemma.他陷入困境。

6 gender   

n.（生理上的）性，（名词、代词等的）性

参考例句：

• French differs from English in having gender for all nouns.法语不同于英语，所有的名词都有性。
• Women are sometimes denied opportunities solely because of their gender.妇女有时仅仅因为性别而无法获得种种机会。

7 prospect   

n.前景，前途；景色，视野

参考例句：

• This state of things holds out a cheerful prospect.事态呈现出可喜的前景。
• The prospect became more evident.前景变得更加明朗了。

8 molester   

参考例句：

• A nationwide manhunt for an alleged child molester is over. 一个全国搜捕骚扰儿童的行动告一段落。 来自互联网
• Did the molester penetrate the child? 这名性骚扰者插进小孩的身体了吗？ 来自互联网

9 lurking   

潜在

参考例句：

• Why are you lurking around outside my house? 你在我房子外面鬼鬼祟祟的，想干什么？
• There is a suspicious man lurking in the shadows. 有一可疑的人躲在阴暗中。 来自《现代英汉综合大词典》

10 lavatory   

n.盥洗室，厕所

参考例句：

• Is there any lavatory in this building?这座楼里有厕所吗？
• The use of the lavatory has been suspended during take-off.在飞机起飞期间，盥洗室暂停使用。

11 pregnancy   

n.怀孕，怀孕期

参考例句：

• Early pregnancy is often accompanied by nausea.怀孕早期常有恶心的现象。
• Smoking during pregnancy increases the risk of miscarriage.怀孕期吸烟会增加流产的危险。

12 belly   

n.肚子，腹部；(像肚子一样)鼓起的部分，膛

参考例句：

• The boss has a large belly.老板大腹便便。
• His eyes are bigger than his belly.他眼馋肚饱。

13 touching   

adj.动人的，使人感伤的

参考例句：

• It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
• His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

14 mere   

adj.纯粹的；仅仅，只不过

参考例句：

• That is a mere repetition of what you said before.那不过是重复了你以前讲的话。
• It's a mere waste of time waiting any longer.再等下去纯粹是浪费时间。