Shaving off his beard

    A married man was visiting his girlfriend one day, when she requested that he shave his beard. "Oh James, I like your beard, but I would really love to see your handsome face." James replied, "My wife loves this beard, I couldn't possibly do it. She would kill me!""Oh, please?" the girlfriend asked again, in a sexy little voice. "Oh really, I can't," he replied. "My wife loves this beard!" The girlfriend asked once more, and he sighed and finally gave in.
    That night, James crawled¹ into bed with his wife while she was sleeping.
    The wife woke up somewhat², felt his face and replied "Oh, Michael, you shouldn't be here. My husband will be home soon!"

1 crawled   

v.爬( crawl的过去式和过去分词 )；（昆虫）爬行；缓慢行进；巴结

参考例句：

• They crawled along on their bellies. 他们匍匐前进。
• She crawled onto the river bank and lay there gulping in air. 她爬上河岸，躺在那里喘着粗气。 来自《简明英汉词典》

2 somewhat   

pron.一些，某物；adv.多少，几分

参考例句：

• The cake we made was somewhat of a failure.我们做的蛋糕不大成功。
• The two office buildings are somewhat alike in appearance.这两座办公楼在外形上有点相似。