小幽默（4则）

A Smart Housewife¹.

　　A smart housewife was told that there was a kind of stove which would only consume² half of the coal she was burning. She was very excited, and said: "That'll be terrific³! Since one stove can save half of the coal, if I buy two, no coal will be needed!"

　　精明的家庭主妇
 
　　一位精明的家庭主妇听人说有一种炉子用起来可以比她现在用的炉子省一半的煤。她听了大为兴奋，说：“那太好了！一个炉子可以省一半的煤，那么如果我买两个炉子的话，不就可以把煤全都省下来了吗？”

The poor husband

"You can't imagine how difficult it is for me to deal with my wife," the man complained to his friend. "She asks me a question, then answers it herself, and after that she explained to me for half an hour why my answer is wrong.

可怜的丈夫

“你根本无法想象和我妻子打交道是多么的难，”一个男人对他的朋友诉苦说，“她问我一个问题，然后自己回答了，过后又花半个小时跟我解释为什么我的答案是错的。”

I Wasn't Asleep

　　　When a group of women got on the car, every seat was already occupied. The conductor⁴ noticed a man who seemed to be asleep,  and fearing he might miss his stop, he nudged him and said: "Wake up, sir!"

　　　"I wasn't asleep," the man answered.

　　　"Not asleep? But you had your eyes closed."

　　　"I know. I just hate to look at ladies standing⁵ up beside me in a crowded car."

　　我没有睡着

　　当一群妇女上车之后，车上的座位全都被占满了。售票员注意到一名男子好象是睡着了，他担心这个人会坐过站，就用肘轻轻地碰了碰他，说：“先生，醒醒！”

　　　 “我没有睡着。”那个男人回答。

　　　 “没睡着？可是你眼睛都闭上了呀？”

　　　 “我知道，我只是不愿意看到在拥挤的车上有女士站在我身边而已。”

Does the dog know the proverb⁶,　too?

　　　 The little boy did not like the look of the barking dog.

　　　 "It's all right," said a gentleman, "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

　　　 "Ah, yes," answered the little boy. "I know the proverb, but does the dog know the proverb, too?"

　　    狗也知道这个谚语吗？

　　　 一个小男孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

　　　“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

　　　“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

1 housewife   

n.主妇，家庭主妇

参考例句：

• The cleverest housewife can't cook a meal without rice.巧妇难为无米之炊。
• She was a housewife of experience.她是一个有经验的主妇。

2 consume   

vt.花费，消费；毁灭；vi.消费掉；枯萎

参考例句：

• They generally consume more power and take up more space,too.它们通常消耗更多的能量，并且占用更多的空间。
• The British consume a vast amount of tea each year.英国人每年消费大量的茶叶。

3 terrific   

adj.可怕的，极好的，非常的

参考例句：

• The game was terrific.那场比赛棒极了。
• Darren drove at a terrific speed.达伦以惊人的速度驾车。

4 conductor   

n.领队，指挥；售票员，列车员；导体

参考例句：

• The conductor handed the sick man out of the bus.售票员扶病人下公共汽车。
• Copper is a good conductor of heat.铜是热的良导体。

5 standing   

n.持续，地位；adj.永久的，不动的，直立的，不流动的

参考例句：

• After the earthquake only a few houses were left standing.地震过后只有几幢房屋还立着。
• They're standing out against any change in the law.他们坚决反对对法律做任何修改。

6 proverb   

n.谚语，格言，箴言；vt.使成为谚语，用谚语表达

参考例句：

• As the proverb goes,time is money.俗语说，时间就是金钱。
• "Practice makes perfect." is a proverb.”熟能生巧 ” 是一句谚语.