社交魅力课堂：7个好习惯让你更有魅力

 　　There’s no question that charismatic people are some of the most successful individuals out there. Professor Wiseman at the University of Hertfordshire in the UK estimates charisma¹ is 50% innate² and 50% trained. The key ingredients of charisma are simple actions that, with practice, become a part of your personality and improve your interactions with everyone around you, increasing your overall satisfaction with life. Here are 7 qualities of charismatic people that you can incorporate into your life.

　　毫无疑问，你身边有魅力的人都基本上都属于最成功的人士。英国赫特福德郡大学怀斯曼教授证实，魅力一半源于天生，一半来自后天。他们列举了提升魅力值的行为，通过练习，使这些行为融入到性格里，来提升与周围人交际的能力，从而提高你整体的魅力值。下面是提升魅力的七个好习惯。

　　1. Listen Actively³

　　做一个积极的听众

　　When you listen, give them your undivided attention and ask questions. Do NOT check your phone more than once in a conversation - better yet, don’t check it at all! A study by the University of Colorado found that active listening helps avoid misunderstandings and opens people up to get them to say more. Actively listening will improve communication with those around you, whether you’re working with them or living with them. People tend to remember good listeners as positive people.

　　当你是个听众时，一定要全神贯注，别忘了问点问题。不要在谈话过程中超过一次查看手机--最好的是，压根就不要看手机！科罗拉多大学的研究表明，做一名积极的听众可以避免误会，同时使说话人说得更多，增强你与周围人的联系，不管是同事或是室友。人们总是能会把好的听众看成积极正面的人。

　　2. Speak Clearly

　　语言表达清晰

　　Take your time and think about each sentence. The more you speak with unnecessary filler, the less clear you are. Especially when speaking to more than one person at once, or to a new group of people, practice your approach beforehand. Am I saying everything I need to say? Is everything I’m saying necessary? Is there a clear objective and purpose to what I am saying?

　　花点时间想想你要说的每句话。你说的废话越多，语言表达就越不清晰。尤其是在和不止一个人或一群人对话时，一定要先练习一下你的说话技巧。我说的都面面俱到了吗？我说的都是有必要说的嘛？我说的这些话里有明确的主题思想吗？

　　3. Smile from Within

　　发自内心的微笑

　　A genuine smile from within shows on the outside: you smile with your eyes and mouth. Not to say you have to walk around with a grin all the time! But when you smile on the inside, people are more receptive when you approach them. The women with a Duchenne smile were more likely to be married and stay married than those who had a fake smile, and were more likely to experience greater sense of personal well-being⁴. When you smile from the heart and follow up with a kind personality, you will get more and give more to the world than you ever thought possible.

　　真正的微笑是从内到外散发出来的：你的眼睛和嘴都在笑。这不是说你要一直咧着嘴笑！而是当你微笑的时候，要发自内心，这样人们才更能接受你。相对于比起经常假笑的人，有着杜乡式真正微笑的女人更容易嫁出去，婚姻也可以保持更久，还更能体验到一种独属于自己的幸福。当你发自内心的微笑，你会向外界给予更多，同时也得到更多，这会完全超乎你的想象哦。

　　4. Stand Up Tall

　　站直点

　　Imagine there’s a string running from your navel, through your head and up into the ceiling. It’s an old dancer’s trick, and works for the rest of us to maintain great posture⁵ throughout the day. Good posture makes you appear secure and confident; if you’re not feeling that confident today, fake it until you make it! Remember to keep your shoulders down.

　　想象一下，从你的头沿着背部到天花板，一直有根棍子在支撑着。这是舞者训练的老方法，也可以帮助我们来纠正自己的站姿。好的站姿让你更加自信，如果今天感觉底气不足，那么就站直了直到你成功！当然千万不要耸肩哦。

　　5. Spread Praise & Phrase

　　不吝惜赞美

　　Ever hear “it’s not what you say, but how you say it?” If you have to critique someone, before you do, think of how you would want to be critiqued. Be direct and address the problem at hand, propose a solution, get feedback and establish a timeframe. At the same time, give credit & compliments where they are due. Building confidence in yourself is important, but being able to build confidence in others - that’s charisma.

　　听没听过“你说什么不重要，重要的是你用什么方式说”这句话？所以当你批评什么人之前，想象你自己是否能接受这样的批评。你应该事先直接指出问题，提出解决方案，给予一定的回馈然后确定一个时间表。同时要不断给予他们信心和赞美。自信很重要，但是给予别人信心--这就是魅力所在了。

　　6. Remember Names

　　记住别人的名字

　　A legendarily⁶ successful writer known as “Mr. Charisma” himself, once said that “a person’s name is to him or her the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” It’s simple but effective. When you first learn someone’s name, repeat it back to them by saying “Hi Amanda” or “It’s a pleasure to meet you Amanda.” Also use their name when you end the conversation, it’ll help immensely. You can also visualize⁷ the person’s name on their forehead, or associate that person’s name with a facial feature, like “Joe’s Eyebrows⁸.” If all else fails, after meeting someone new, type their name into your phone with a short descriptive word.

　　被称为“魅力先生”的传奇成功作家戴尔卡耐基曾说过：“无论在什么语言中，对于一个人来说，他的名字永远是最好听和最重要的。” 这个道理很简单，但也很有用。当你第一次知道别人的名字，就立即重复他们的名字给予反馈，比如说“你好，阿曼达”，或者“认识你真高兴，阿曼达。” 同时，在结束对话时也要提及对方的名字，这会帮大忙。你也可以用名字形容他们的长相或者他们的面部表情。比如 “乔的眉毛”。如果这都不管用，在认识新朋友之后，把他们的名字简写存进你的手机里。

　　7. Eye Contact

　　眼神交流

　　Make eye contact while a person is talking to you, and while you are speaking to them. Eye contact is one of the most important aspects of communication - it allows you to really see if your message is getting through. It keeps the other person focused on you, and keeps you focused on their words and meaning. If you’re making a presentation or speech, make eye contact once with as many people in the room as possible. It will make the whole event feel much more personal to your audience.

　　和别人和交流的时候别忘了眼神交流。眼神交流是交际里的重要部分--可以让你明确信息是否已经被传递。也让其他人把焦点集中在你身上，还可以让你去集中精力理解他们的话语和含义。如果你在准备一个演讲或讲演，尽量和室内的人进行眼神交流。这会让你的听众与你的距离拉近。

 

1 charisma   

n.(大众爱戴的)领袖气质，魅力

参考例句：

• He has enormous charisma. He is a giant of a man.他有超凡的个人魅力，是个伟人。
• I don't have the charisma to pull a crowd this size.我没有那么大的魅力，能吸引这么多人。

2 innate   

adj.天生的，固有的，天赋的

参考例句：

• You obviously have an innate talent for music.你显然有天生的音乐才能。
• Correct ideas are not innate in the mind.人的正确思想不是自己头脑中固有的。

3 actively   

adv.积极地，勤奋地

参考例句：

• During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
• We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。

4 well-being   

n.安康，安乐，幸福

参考例句：

• He always has the well-being of the masses at heart.他总是把群众的疾苦挂在心上。
• My concern for their well-being was misunderstood as interference.我关心他们的幸福，却被误解为多管闲事。

5 posture   

n.姿势，姿态，心态，态度；v.作出某种姿势

参考例句：

• The government adopted an uncompromising posture on the issue of independence.政府在独立这一问题上采取了毫不妥协的态度。
• He tore off his coat and assumed a fighting posture.他脱掉上衣，摆出一副打架的架势。

6 legendarily   

传奇性地，传奇似地

参考例句：

7 visualize   

vt.使看得见，使具体化，想象，设想

参考例句：

• I remember meeting the man before but I can't visualize him.我记得以前见过那个人，但他的样子我想不起来了。
• She couldn't visualize flying through space.她无法想像在太空中飞行的景象。

8 eyebrows   

眉毛( eyebrow的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• Eyebrows stop sweat from coming down into the eyes. 眉毛挡住汗水使其不能流进眼睛。
• His eyebrows project noticeably. 他的眉毛特别突出。