自我意识 是提高领导情商的关键

 　　“If your emotional abilities aren't in hand, if you don't have self-awareness¹, if you are not able tmanage your distressing² emotions, if you can't have empathy and have effective relationships, then nmatter how smart you are, you are not going tget very far.

　　“如果你没有足够的情商，没有自我意识，不能克服负面情绪，没有同理心也没有良好的人际关系，那么，无论你的智商多高，你都不会取得多么大的成就。”

　　“IQ is a major factor in deciding which profession you can get into. But once you are in that field, emotional intelligence emerges as a much stronger predictor of whwill be most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we donce we are in a given job.”

　　“决定你能否从事某一行业的主要因素是智商。但是，在你入行之后，决定你能否成功的更重要因素是情商。这是因为，你的工作表现取决于你如何处理工作关系，而如何处理工作关系取决于情商。”

　　A recent survey of 75 members of the Stanford Graduate School of Business Advisory³ Council rated self-awareness as the most important capability⁴ for leaders tdevelop. Executives need tknow where their natural inclinations⁵ lie in order tboost them or compensate⁶ for them. Self-awareness is about identifying their own personal idiosyncrasies — the characteristics that executives take tbe the norm-- but actually represent the exception.

　　根据最近一项对斯坦福商学院顾问委员会（Stanford Graduate School of Business Advisory Council）成员的调查，75人均将自我意识列为成功领导者最为重要的一项能力。作为领导者，需要了解自己的脾性，扬长避短。自我意识关系到分辨自身特有的习性，而领导者往往将这种特性视为理所当然，可实际上只是特例。

　　自我意识 是提高领导情商的关键

　　Self-awareness is indeed very important for leaders, and is one of the five dimensions of “Emotional Intelligence” identified by Dr. Daniel Goleman, a leading expert on the subject of “EQ.” In the old days, perhaps a person in a position of responsibility could survive solely⁷ on the basis of their “IQ” and professional expertise⁸. But in the complex world we now live in, where people have increasingly higher standards for those they follow, leaders are expected tcontinuously develop their EQ if they are tearn the respect of others.

　　自我意识对于领导者尤为关键，也是情商权威专家丹尼尔o戈尔曼博士认定的情商的五大维度之一。在过去，一位领导者可能仅凭智商和专业技能就可以应付管理。而在当今日趋复杂的世界，人们对领导者的标准也水涨船高；如果想要赢得别人的尊重，领导者就需要不断提高自己的情商。

　　Never heard of “Emotional Intelligence or “EQ?” Then I suggest that this article is going tbe important for you!

　　如果你以前对所谓的“情商”不甚了解，那么我强烈建议你阅读本文，因为这对你将非常重要！

　　Goleman’s 5 Dimensions of Emotional Intelligence include:

　　戈尔曼认定的情商的五个维度为：

　　1. Self-awareness: literally⁹ ‘knowing yourself’

　　1. 自我意识：也就是对自身的了解

　　2. Self-regulation: managing yourself and your moods

　　2. 自我调节：控制自己的行为和情绪

　　3. Motivation: knowing what motivates you and what does not

　　3. 自我激励：知晓什么能够和不能激励自己

　　4. Empathy: the ability texperience others as legitimate¹⁰ and valuable and identify with their struggles

　　4. 同理心：能对别人的心态感同身受并认同别人的努力

　　5. Social skills: the ability tbuild rapport¹¹ with others, whenever needed

　　5. 社交能力：能在任何情况下与他人达成默契

　　We claim that Self Awareness is the ‘master key’ tEmotional Intelligence and that the other four of Goleman’s EQ elements all ultimately link back tSelf-Awareness.

　　我们认为，在科尔曼认定的五大维度中，自我意识是万能之钥，另外四种最终均取决于自我意识。

　　Sin this article we are going ttalk about three things regarding Self-Awareness:

　　因此，我们在本文中要探讨关于自我意识的以下三个问题：

　　What is it really?

　　自我意识到底是什么？

　　How can you develop it?

　　如何提高自我意识？

　　Why it is the absolutely essential “Master Key” for aspiring¹² leaders

　　为什么说自我意识是领导者成功必需的“万能之钥”？

　　1. Self-Awareness: what is it really?

　　1. 自我意识到底是什么？

　　According tMind Tools (http://www.mindtools.com/) “If you're self-aware, you always know how you feel, and you know how your emotions and your actions can affect the people around you. Being self-aware when you're in a leadership position alsmeans having a clear picture of your strengths and weaknesses, and it means behaving with humility¹³.”

　　根据个人能力提升网站Mind Tools（http://www.mindtools.com/）的定义，自我意识是“总是知道自己的感受，懂得自己的情绪和行为对他人会造成何种影响；作为领导者，具有自我意识还意味着清楚自己的长处和不足，待人处事时保持谦虚”。

　　That’s a good start but treally understand Self Awareness, you must gdeeper than this. In our definition, Self-Awareness and “Other Awareness” are simply twsides of the same coin. The tware natural parts of the same process, just as Yin is part of Yang. “Swhat?” you ask! Well, think about this:

　　能做到这些，的确是一个不错的开端。但想要真正理解自我意识，就必须更加深入地了解它。在我们的定义中，自我意识和“他人意识”只是一体两面。如同阴阳相生，它们是同一过程中两个天然的组成部分。你一定会问：“那又如何？”呶，不妨思考一下以下问题：

　　If there were n‘others’ it wouldn’t make any sense ttalk about a ‘self’ at all…would it? As humans, we naturally experience our ‘self’ in relationship tothers, whether they be colleagues, family members, or utter strangers.

　　如果没有“他人”，再说“自我”还有什么意义，不是吗？我们每个人不都是从与他人的交往中，无论是同事、家人或陌生人，自然而然地形成“自我”体验的吗？

　　Those ‘others’ alsexperience their ‘self” only in relation t‘others.’

　　这些“他人”也通过与“他人”的交往形成“自我”体验。

　　Therefore, Self Awareness and Other Awareness should not be separated: when we talk about one, we must talk about the other.

　　因此自我意识和他人意识不能分开而论：提及其一，则必须提及其二。

　　For you emerging leaders: there is nothing more important than understanding your self, in order that you can understand others.

　　要成为领导者，首要的问题就是认识自己，然后才能理解他人。

　　The good news in all this?As you deepen your insights intyourself, others stop seeming smysterious and hard tunderstand. You will gain insight, empathy and confidence simply by working on your own Self-Awareness. What a deal! ? And, since humans are at root, self-centered, most people are more than willing tlooking in the mirror once in a while, right? But that kind of self-admiration and narcissism¹⁴ are NOT what we are writing about here. We are talking about you, willing tsee the WHOLE picture of yourself, embrace it as it is, and start working with it. Ok, if you are ready, we can now answer the question “What is self awareness really?”

　　了解这些就够了吗？如果你对自己的认识更加深入，别人在你眼中也不再那么神秘难测了。通过提高自我意识，你提高了认识能力、具备同理心，也赢得了信任。何乐而不为！?而且，人的天性就是以自我为中心，大多数人更愿意时不时看看镜子中的自己，不是吗？但是这种自我欣赏或者说孤芳自赏的心态不是本文讨论的范围。本文要谈的问题是你，一个愿意并开始全面认识自我、认同自我的你。现在，如果你已经做好准备，我们就可以回答“什么是自我意识”的问题了。

　　Self-Awareness includes:

　　自我意识包括：

　　Knowing what you like, dislike and why: what motivates you and what demotivates you, being aware of your own values

　　知道自己喜欢什么，不喜欢什么，以及当中的原因：什么可以激励你，什么让你沮丧，认识自己的价值观

　　Being crystal clear about your talents and strengths AND your weaknesses

　　对自己的才能、优点和缺点了然于心

　　Being conscious of the content of your own mind (not as common as you might think!)…the ability tobserve your own thoughts

　　明白自己在想什么（并非你可能以为的那种“明白”！）……观察自己思想的能力

　　Knowing your own beliefs and knowing which ones empower you and which ones should be discarded…including beliefs about yourself AND others

　　明白自己的信念，同时明白哪些可以带来力量，哪些应该抛弃……同时包括对自己和对他人的信念

　　Knowing your direction in life: where you are headed and why

　　明白自己的人生方向：你的目标是什么以及原因何在

　　Knowing and appreciating your own unique value as a human being

　　认识并欣赏自己作为人类的独特价值

　　Just looking at this list it should be easy tsee that there is a great deal about which tbe self-aware. And it follows that if these elements are on your list…they are alson everyone else’s list, right? And sthese awarenesses are key tunderstanding yourself as well as others.

　　了解此清单，可以很容易看出有很多东西需要自我意识。由此可知，如果这些要素在你的清单上……它们同样也在其他每个人的清单上，不是吗？所以，这些认知对于了解自己和他人都是非常关键的。

　　OK, we’ve answered the question “what is self-awareness really?” Let’s move tthe second question.

　　我们已经回答了“什么是自我意识”这个问题。现在让我们进入第二个问题。

　　2. How Can You Develop Self-Awareness?

　　如何发展自我意识？

　　The answer is both easy and difficult. The easy part of the answer is “get busy and start filling in the blanks, for yourself, regarding each of the above six elements of Self-Awareness.” The difficult part is that we humans are never ‘fixed and frozen’ or locked inta static way of being. We are a process, ever flowing, ever changing, evolving, alwaysemerging. As such, developing your self-awareness is a life long adventure, a journey, not a project for Thursday afternoon.

　　答案既简单又复杂。简单的部分是：“针对上述自我意识的六大要素，让自己逐一对照填补空白。”困难的部分则是，我们人类永远都不是“固定和僵化”的，或在一个静态的存在方式中不变。我们处在一个过程当中，它不停地流动、不停地变化、演变，不断涌现。因此，发展自我意识是一次漫长的人生冒险、一趟长长的旅程，而不是周四下午的一个短暂项目。

　　However there are some excellent tools tget you started on your journey:

　　不过这里有一些容易让你开启思索旅程的不错工具：

　　Take the Meyers-Briggs Type Indicator¹⁵ assessment¹⁶, a valuable psycho-metric tool for self-understanding: http://tiny.cc/e0rmmx

　　进行MBTI心理类型测试，这是一种很有价值的自我认识心理测试工具：http://tiny.cc/e0rmmx

　　Take the DISC personality assessment tunderstand what motivates you:http://tiny.cc/rdrmmx

　　进行DISC性格测试，了解自己的动力是什么：http://tiny.cc/rdrmmx

　　Study the Enneagram tlearn your deeper motivations and pitfalls¹⁷: http://tiny.cc/e8rmmx

　　研究九型人格，更深入了解自己的动机和误区：http://tiny.cc/e8rmmx

　　Da Values Elicitation¹⁸ Exercise tunderstand you are really care about… and what you don’t. Email me and I can send you one (only have English at this time)

　　进行一次价值启发测试，了解自己真正关心什么……不关心什么。想要获得测试题，请通过电子邮件与我联系（目前只有英文版）

　　Start a Daily Journal tcapture what you learn from the above, writing down your thoughts, ideas and insights. Review it each week and each month. Keep doing this until the sun starts rising in the West.

　　开始每天写日记，记录从上面所学到的知识，记下自己的思想、想法和观点。每周和每月翻看日记。坚持下去，直到太阳从西边出来。

　　Take my “Belief Change Adventure” workshop: a great way tdiscover your beliefs and actually change the ones that nlonger serve you.

　　参加我的“信念改变冒险”讲习班：发现自己信念，并真正改变不适合自己信念的好方法。

　　A WORD OF CAUTION!Slow down, take a deep breath, relax. Great! Many people (because of faulty beliefs) assume that diving intSelf-Awareness means they will find out a lot of bad, nasty or unhappy things about themselves. If that sounds like you, please discard this idea right now. Self-Awareness is about finding out whyou really are and becoming more of whyou really are. It is NOT a Witch Hunt! I promise you, as a long time resident of The Human Dimension, most of what you will discover is going tbe treasure. Ok, you might find some junk…sjust discard it! But never used these tools as a way tput yourself down.

　　提醒！放慢速度，深呼吸，放松。非常好！很多人（由于错误的信念）认为进入自我意识，意味着将会发现自己很多糟糕、难以启齿或不愉快的事。如果这就是你，请马上抛弃这种想法。自我意识是为了发现自己真正是谁，并且成为一个真正的你。它不是巫术迫害！我向你保证，作为长久以来研究人类思维的研究者，你会发现多数东西都将是值得珍惜的。没错，你可能会发现一些垃圾……那就抛弃它！但千万不要用这些工具来贬低自己。

　　Finally:NEVER use these tools t‘compare’ yourself with others because that is self-defeating and pointless. You are you, scompare yourself with you. Self-Awareness is not a contest and there is n“one perfect way’ of being. Remember the saying in Chinese “when you compare yourself with others it just makes you angry!”

　　最后：绝对不要利用这些工具将自己和他人进行“比较”，这是自我挫败和毫无意义的。你就是你，所以只要和自己进行比较。自我意识不是竞赛，也没有存在的“完美方式”。记住中国有句谚语“人比人，气死人！”。

　　3. Why is Self-Awareness the “Master Key” for Leaders?

　　3. 为何自我意识是领导者的“万能之钥”

　　We said from the beginning that Self-Awareness is the most essential quality for effective leadership. This is simply because leaders lead…people! And tlead others, one must begin by leading oneself, on a journey of self-discovery and self-understanding. If you are willing ttake this journey and make it a life-long practice, here is what will happen:

　　我们在本文开篇就说过，自我意识是有效领导的最重要品质。很简单，这是因为领导者带领的是人！要领导他人，必须先从领导自己开始，这是一条自我发现和自我理解的旅程。如果你愿意进入这一旅程，并且愿意终身践行，将会发生什么：

　　You will develop deep empathy and compassion¹⁹ for other human beings, including total strangers.

　　你将对他人，包括陌生人，抱有很深的同理心和同情心。

　　You will empower yourself, discarding old ideas and beliefs that nlonger serve you and it will be easy for you thelp others dthe same.

　　你将能让自己摒弃陈旧的观念和信仰，而且很容易帮助他人这样做。

　　You will liberate²⁰ your own potential, your deep passion, your inspiration and joy and you will become a magnetic leader that people will naturally want tfollow.

　　你将释放自己的潜力，你的满腔热忱、灵感与欢乐，会让你成为一名散发着魅力的领导者，人们自然而然会追随你。

　　You will stop looking at people as ‘objects’ or ‘things’ tuse and start seeing them as spiritual beings, just like yourself, with all the usual strengths and weaknesses, on a life-long journey of learning.

　　在终身学习的旅途上，你不会再将他人视为“物体”或“工具”来对待，而会逐渐意识到他们和你一样，都是有灵魂的人，也有着常人所有的优点和不足。

　　You will discover that others, with their strengths and weaknesses act as mirrors for ourselves: when you are attracted ta trait you see in others it means you have that in yourself; when you find yourself focused on some other person’s faults…it means you have that in yourself.

　　你会发现，他人的优点和不足将会成为自身的一面镜子：当你被他人的某个优点吸引时，这说明你自身也具有同样的优点；当你只注意到他人身上的不足时，也意味着你有同样的缺点。

　　You will start experiencing others differently, focusing on their good points instead of their mistakes.

　　你将开始以全新的方式与他人相处，更多地看到他人的优点而非缺点。

　　Over time, you will develop true wisdom and insight and enjoy sharing it, not keeping it locked inside you.

　　随着时间的推移，你将开发出真正的智慧和洞察力，懂得与人分享，而不是封闭自己。

　　You will attract other self-aware people and find yourself on an upward spiral as a leader for others.

　　你会吸引其他具有自我意识的人，还会发现自己的领导能力将进入螺旋式的上升周期。

　　Now, looking at the above list…how many great leaders dyou know that lack this way of experiencing themselves and other people? I don’t mean ‘dominators’ that just use power tget their way. Those are not true leaders at all. I’m talking about people whare influential²¹, trusted and appreciated by those that follow them.

　　现在，看看上面的清单……有多少伟大的领导者缺少这样认识自我、感受他人的经历呢？我所指的不是那些用权力得到一切的“统治者”。这些不是真正的领导者。我所说的是那些具有影响力，深受追随者信赖和欣赏的领导者。

　　I promise you that if you start on the path of Self-Awareness your life is going tchange in many positive ways. A self-aware leader is the only one whcan truly lead. And now I want tleave you with a few quotes tstimulate your thinking:

　　我能承诺的是，如果你走上自我意识之路，你的人生将会发生很多积极的变化。一个有自我意识的领导者才能真正领导他人。现在我要用几句名言激发你的思考：

　　“We are not human beings trying tbecome spiritual. We are spiritual beings, learning how tbe human.” Teilhard de Chardin

　　“我们并非试图拥有灵魂的人类。相反，我们是具有灵性而试图成长为人的存在。”——德日进神父

　　“Know yourself and know others and in one hundred battles you will be victorious²² one hundred times.” Sun Dz

　　“知己知彼，百战不殆”——孙子

　　“The best time tplant a tree is 20 years ago. The second-best time tplant a tree is right now.” Confucius

　　“种一棵树最好的时间是20年前，再就是当下”——古谚语

1 awareness   

n.意识，觉悟，懂事，明智

参考例句：

• There is a general awareness that smoking is harmful.人们普遍认识到吸烟有害健康。
• Environmental awareness has increased over the years.这些年来人们的环境意识增强了。

2 distressing   

a.使人痛苦的

参考例句：

• All who saw the distressing scene revolted against it. 所有看到这种悲惨景象的人都对此感到难过。
• It is distressing to see food being wasted like this. 这样浪费粮食令人痛心。

3 advisory   

adj.劝告的，忠告的，顾问的，提供咨询

参考例句：

• I have worked in an advisory capacity with many hospitals.我曾在多家医院做过顾问工作。
• He was appointed to the advisory committee last month.他上个月获任命为顾问委员会委员。

4 capability   

n.能力；才能；(pl)可发展的能力或特性等

参考例句：

• She has the capability to become a very fine actress.她有潜力成为杰出演员。
• Organizing a whole department is beyond his capability.组织整个部门是他能力以外的事。

5 inclinations   

倾向( inclination的名词复数 )； 倾斜； 爱好； 斜坡

参考例句：

• She has artistic inclinations. 她有艺术爱好。
• I've no inclinations towards life as a doctor. 我的志趣不是行医。

6 compensate   

vt.补偿，赔偿；酬报 vi.弥补；补偿；抵消

参考例句：

• She used her good looks to compensate her lack of intelligence. 她利用她漂亮的外表来弥补智力的不足。
• Nothing can compensate for the loss of one's health. 一个人失去了键康是不可弥补的。

7 solely   

adv.仅仅，唯一地

参考例句：

• Success should not be measured solely by educational achievement.成功与否不应只用学业成绩来衡量。
• The town depends almost solely on the tourist trade.这座城市几乎完全靠旅游业维持。

8 expertise   

n.专门知识(或技能等)，专长

参考例句：

• We were amazed at his expertise on the ski slopes.他斜坡滑雪的技能使我们赞叹不已。
• You really have the technical expertise in a new breakthrough.让你真正在专业技术上有一个全新的突破。

9 literally   

adv.照字面意义，逐字地；确实

参考例句：

• He translated the passage literally.他逐字逐句地翻译这段文字。
• Sometimes she would not sit down till she was literally faint.有时候，她不走到真正要昏厥了，决不肯坐下来。

10 legitimate   

adj.合法的，合理的，合乎逻辑的；v.使合法

参考例句：

• Sickness is a legitimate reason for asking for leave.生病是请假的一个正当的理由。
• That's a perfectly legitimate fear.怀有这种恐惧完全在情理之中。

11 rapport   

n.和睦，意见一致

参考例句：

• She has an excellent rapport with her staff.她跟她职员的关系非常融洽。
• We developed a high degree of trust and a considerable personal rapport.我们发展了高度的互相信任和不错的私人融洽关系。

12 aspiring   

adj.有志气的；有抱负的；高耸的v.渴望；追求

参考例句：

• Aspiring musicians need hours of practice every day. 想当音乐家就要每天练许多小时。
• He came from an aspiring working-class background. 他出身于有抱负的工人阶级家庭。 来自辞典例句

13 humility   

n.谦逊，谦恭

参考例句：

• Humility often gains more than pride.谦逊往往比骄傲收益更多。
• His voice was still soft and filled with specious humility.他的声音还是那么温和，甚至有点谦卑。

14 narcissism   

n.自我陶醉，自恋

参考例句：

• Those who suffer from narcissism become self-absorbed.自恋的人会变得自私。
• The collective narcissism of the Kerouac circle is ultimately boring.凯鲁亚克和他周围人物的集体自我陶醉欲最终使人厌烦不已。

15 indicator   

n.指标；指示物，指示者；指示器

参考例句：

• Gold prices are often seen as an indicator of inflation.黃金价格常常被看作是通货膨胀的指标。
• His left-hand indicator is flashing.他左手边的转向灯正在闪亮。

16 assessment   

n.评价；评估；对财产的估价，被估定的金额

参考例句：

• This is a very perceptive assessment of the situation.这是一个对该情况的极富洞察力的评价。
• What is your assessment of the situation?你对时局的看法如何？

17 pitfalls   

（捕猎野兽用的）陷阱( pitfall的名词复数 )； 意想不到的困难，易犯的错误

参考例句：

• the potential pitfalls of buying a house 购买房屋可能遇到的圈套
• Several pitfalls remain in the way of an agreement. 在达成协议的进程中还有几个隐藏的困难。

18 elicitation   

引出； 诱出； 抽出； 启发

参考例句：

• Requirements engineering consists of activities like requirements elicitation, specification and validation. 需求工程包括的活动有需求捕获，需求定义和需求验证。
• Application of Teaching Method of Elicitation for the Engineering Graphics Course. 工程制图课程教学改革的思考与实践。

19 compassion   

n.同情，怜悯

参考例句：

• He could not help having compassion for the poor creature.他情不自禁地怜悯起那个可怜的人来。
• Her heart was filled with compassion for the motherless children.她对于没有母亲的孩子们充满了怜悯心。

20 liberate   

v.解放，使获得自由，释出，放出；vt.解放，使获自由

参考例句：

• They did their best to liberate slaves.他们尽最大能力去解放奴隶。
• This will liberate him from economic worry.这将消除他经济上的忧虑。

21 influential   

adj.有影响的，有权势的

参考例句：

• He always tries to get in with the most influential people.他总是试图巴结最有影响的人物。
• He is a very influential man in the government.他在政府中是个很有影响的人物。

22 victorious   

adj.胜利的，得胜的

参考例句：

• We are certain to be victorious.我们定会胜利。
• The victorious army returned in triumph.获胜的部队凯旋而归。