托福作文范文：旅游与存钱

 　　Here is something I have just learnt from the past week. Anna helped me go through severalessays and pointed¹ out: all right, there are minor² errors in grammar and spelling, but the mostserious problem is the organization of ideas. "When you are taking TOEFL," she added, "youbasically need to shut half of your brain down."

　　True story.

　　It is very easy to get into a swamp³ of critical thinking and an entry level writer usually triesreally hard on fixing those loopholes in their logic⁴, while ignoring the way he delivers ideas. Allthose independent writing questions are quite simple and mostly controversial. You mightnever find a perfect saying to fix it. But the raters don't care about if the question itself isprecisely asked or not. They care your language.

　　Building up an easy-access system of building up articles is more important than thosedelicately rephrasing process. What her final comment is attached here, just as a heads-up:

　　You have not clearly (or obviously) stated your thesis⁵ statement throughout the essay. In theopening and closing paragraphs the TS is also very we "You have not clearly (or obviously)stated your thesis statement throughout the essay. In the opening and closing paragraphs theTS is also very weak. Towards the end you become more organized, but the second paragraphis completely lost on me."

　　Then she gave me a specific instruction on effectively organizing an essay. I did what shetold me, which helps a lot.

　　Below is what have done within thirty minutes.

　　k. Towards the end you become more organized, but the second paragraph is completely loston me. You have not clearly (or obviously) stated your thesis statement throughout the essay.In the opening and closing paragraphs the TS is also very wek. Towards the end you becomemore organized, but the second paragraph is completely lost on me

　　Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Spending money on travelling isbetter than saving money for future use. (20101105NA)

　　I am always seeing things from the perspectives of young people. I don’t think it is the bestidea to start saving money too early. Instead, go travelling as much as we can is a betterchoice.

　　Simply stated, travelling benefits the future. A widespread phrase “illness of modernity”largely refers to the uncertainty⁶ and anxiety towards the future among young people. Thisfeeling comes, in my opinion, mainly from a lack of experience exploring the world. It happenedto me several years ago when I suddenly realized a history major student like myself wastrapped between reality and ideality. So I chose to take one year off from college, which is moreoften called “gap year” to work and travel all over the world. I took interns⁷ in Bulgaria andPoland, bicycled through the entire Europe, stayed with American family, spent leisure summerin Spain, took care of autistic kids in Krakow and taught Chinese culture in Sofia. I spent all mymoney on this trip until I almost went broke. But I had such a clear picture for future and theexperience I gained from this trip basically made me very compatible⁸ in the job market.

　　People may question that it would be a little less than responsible for later years not to save upto a fund. Apparently⁹, this concern ignores the fact that we will have plenty of opportunities tomake money in the future. Travelling during the early years, in turn, will definitely provide useven more chances. A lot of my friends are world travellers as well. They experienced so muchthat they are very aware of what the general trends of culture, fashion and even policies ofmultiple countries they have been to. They are always very insightful¹⁰ and could easily go onestep earlier and further than most of the peers¹¹. After the global trips, some of them havechosen to devote themselves in academic institutions, some in journalism¹² and freelance writingto continue exploring and some, like me, chose to work in a company. All of these people noware making very good money and the life they are living now is even better than the future theyexpected years earlier.

　　And then we need to consider a more practical aspect: are we really able to travel when we areolder? Certainly a huge pressure from expense of raising children, maintaining a family andduties in work will stop people from carrying out their travel plans. Young people have relativelyflexible schedule that reduces the risk of spending more energy in begging for a vacation orcaring for, say, how their kids behave in kindergartens. My professor always encouraged me. Hesaid, “go kid, if I were you, I would seriously consider postponing¹³ my research of Latin Americancountries because knowing that place from simply historical documents without actually beingthere and talked to people there apparently caused so much trouble in understanding theirpolitics and culture.” He was right. I am still young. I have nothing now. And of course I havenothing to lose. That is the spirit.

　　So let’s go back to the topic we’ve been discussing. When we are young, there are so manybenefits if we just pack a map and take with us the only dollars we keep in the pockets and setoff. Spend the money now for the future. It is never too late.

1 pointed   

adj.尖的，直截了当的

参考例句：

• He gave me a very sharp pointed pencil.他给我一支削得非常尖的铅笔。
• She wished to show Mrs.John Dashwood by this pointed invitation to her brother.她想通过对达茨伍德夫人提出直截了当的邀请向她的哥哥表示出来。

2 minor   

adj.较小(少)的，较次要的；n.辅修学科；vi.辅修

参考例句：

• The young actor was given a minor part in the new play.年轻的男演员在这出新戏里被分派担任一个小角色。
• I gave him a minor share of my wealth.我把小部分财产给了他。

3 swamp   

n.沼泽，湿地；v.淹没，陷于沼泽

参考例句：

• The swamp teems with mosquitoes.这片沼泽地蚊子多极了。
• The water in the swamp is foul.沼泽中的水很臭。

4 logic   

n.逻辑(学)；逻辑性

参考例句：

• What sort of logic is that?这是什么逻辑？
• I don't follow the logic of your argument.我不明白你的论点逻辑性何在。

5 thesis   

n.论题，论点，论文

参考例句：

• His thesis is being finished off.他的论文快写完了。
• He argued his thesis well.他为他的论点进行了有力的辩论。

6 uncertainty   

n.易变，靠不住，不确知，不确定的事物

参考例句：

• Her comments will add to the uncertainty of the situation.她的批评将会使局势更加不稳定。
• After six weeks of uncertainty,the strain was beginning to take its toll.6个星期的忐忑不安后，压力开始产生影响了。

7 interns   

n.住院实习医生( intern的名词复数 )v.拘留，关押( intern的第三人称单数 )

参考例句：

• Our interns also greet our guests when they arrive in our studios. 我们的实习生也会在嘉宾抵达演播室的时候向他们致以问候。 来自超越目标英语 第4册
• The interns work alongside experienced civil engineers and receive training in the different work sectors. 实习生陪同有经验的国内工程师工作，接受不同工作部门的相关培训。 来自超越目标英语 第4册

8 compatible   

adj.兼容的；能和睦相处的，合得来的

参考例句：

• You should choose a roommate more compatible to your tastes.你应该挑个和你意气更相投的人同住一室。
• Health and hard work are compatible.健康与努力工作是一致的。

9 apparently   

adv.显然地；表面上，似乎

参考例句：

• An apparently blind alley leads suddenly into an open space.山穷水尽，豁然开朗。
• He was apparently much surprised at the news.他对那个消息显然感到十分惊异。

10 insightful   

adj.有深刻见解的，有洞察力的

参考例句：

• The statute is hardly a masterpiece of insightful policymaking or incisive drafting. 这个法案几乎不算一个有见识的杰作，也算不上是个透彻的草案。 来自英汉非文学 - 环境法 - 环境法
• This is not an insightful article. It's all just filler, really. 这不是一篇很有见地的文章。只是一篇补白，仅此而已。

11 peers   

n.同等的人，贵族vi.凝视，窥视vt.与…同等，封为贵族v.凝视( peer的第三人称单数 )；盯着看；同等；比得上

参考例句：

• She enjoys the respect of her peers. 她受到同侪的尊敬。
• She peers into my eyes. 她盯着我的眼睛。 来自《简明英汉词典》

12 journalism   

n.新闻工作，报业

参考例句：

• He's a teacher but he does some journalism on the side.他是教师，可还兼职做一些新闻工作。
• He had an aptitude for journalism.他有从事新闻工作的才能。

13 postponing   

v.延期，推迟( postpone的现在分词 )

参考例句：

• He tried to gain time by postponing his decision. 他想以迟迟不作决定的手段来争取时间。 来自辞典例句
• I don't hold with the idea of postponing further discussion of the matter. 我不赞成推迟进一步讨论这件事的想法。 来自辞典例句