英语批评而不得罪任何人

 　　Your boss tells you that you did a bad job. Your coworker criticizes you in front of your whole team. Ouch! It's not easy to take criticism, no matter who it comes from. But, it is easy to soften¹ the blow when you offer criticism to someone in English. Merely by altering your wording and your attitude, you can help someone grow as opposed to making them feel defeated.?

　　Avoid direct accusations²?

　　Phrases like "You're wrong!" and "Your presentation was terrible!" have no place in effective criticism. In fact, it's best to leave the word "you" out, if at all possible. Personal attacks make people feel defensive³, and then they won't really listen to anything you have to say.?

　　Soften with compliments?

　　Before starting with the criticism, warm the person up with compliments. If you are discussing their work, find several things you truly like about what they have done. For example, "I enjoyed your presentation today. You presented a lot of good and helpful information in it, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. I appreciate your hard work." This will lower their defenses and make them feel appreciated.?

　　Don't continue with "but"?

　　However, a short, vague compliment followed by ut??such as "It was a helpful talk, but you really need to improve your presentation skills." ?won do much to help the process. After you've shared your compliments, allow them time to be absorbed. Immediately following your compliment with a "but" will destroy all you've tried to accomplish by making your praise seem false and insincere.?

　　Advise with advice?

　　Remember that the goal of constructive⁴ criticism isn't to make the person feel terrible; it's to help them grow. Instead of directly accusing the person, try to get the message through to them in the form of light-hearted advice. Phrases like, "Next time you might want to ? or "I find it helpful to ? can take away the blame while still leaving an impact: "Next time you might want to give a little more attention to the audience. I find it helpful to look people in the eyes while I am speaking."?

　　Stay specific?

　　People can't change overnight, especially if they don't get detailed⁵ direction. Simply saying "you need to work on your presentation skills" won't help a soul! Be detailed in your advice, and don't overload⁶ anyone with criticism. Remember, you want them to keep trying and improving. Don't leave them feeling defeated!?

　　你的老板说你的工作表现不好。你的员工在你的团队面前批评你。噢，不管谁在批评，总是不容易接受的。但是，当你委婉使用英语来批评某人是较容易接受的。只需要改变一点点你说的话及态度，你能帮那些人成长而非是他们感到挫折。?

　　避免正面指责?

　　一些表达的方式像是"You're wrong!"及"Your presentation was terrible!"皆不是有效的批评。事实上，如果可能的话，舍去这个字。个人攻击将使人们会使人自我防御，然后他们将不会听进去你说的任何话。?

　　说些和蔼赞美的话?

　　在给予批评以前，先说一些赞美的话给对方暖身暖身。如果你正在探讨他人的工作，找一些你真的喜欢他们所做过的事。例如："I enjoyed your presentation today. You presented a lot of good and helpful information in it, and I can tell you put a lot of effort into it. I appreciate your hard work."这将减少他们的防卫自己并让他们有欣慰之意。?

　　且勿使用'but'?

　　不管如何，由一些'but'的简短模糊赞美，像是:"It was a helpful talk, but you really need to improve your presentation skills."将对于事情不会有太大的帮助。在你已经分享你的赞美之后，允许他们有时间来吸收它。立刻接著来表达会破坏你的赞美之意而使人感到虚伪及没有诚意。?

　　建议中的建议?

　　记得给予建设性批评不使人感到讨厌为目标，就是帮助人成长。避免直接的指责他人，试著将讯息以轻松愉快的方式传达给对方。表达方式像是："Next time you might want to "或"I find it helpful to "当仍然带有冲击性的时候可以冲淡指责意味："Next time you might want to give a little more attention to the audience. I find it helpful to look people in the eyes while I am speaking."?

　　明确的表达?

　　人是无法一夜之间改变的，尤其如果他们无法获得详细的引导。可以简单的说:"you need to work on your presentation skills"对于心灵将没有帮助！将你的建议详细些，不要给予负荷不了的批评。记得，你希望他们是不断的尝试及改进。不要使他们感到如此挫折！

　　本文由在线英语听力室整理编辑。

1 soften   

v.(使)变柔软；(使)变柔和

参考例句：

• Plastics will soften when exposed to heat.塑料适当加热就可以软化。
• This special cream will help to soften up our skin.这种特殊的护肤霜有助于使皮肤变得柔软。

2 accusations   

n.指责( accusation的名词复数 )；指控；控告；（被告发、控告的）罪名

参考例句：

• There were accusations of plagiarism. 曾有过关于剽窃的指控。
• He remained unruffled by their accusations. 对于他们的指控他处之泰然。

3 defensive   

adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的

参考例句：

• Their questions about the money put her on the defensive.他们问到钱的问题，使她警觉起来。
• The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。

4 constructive   

adj.建设的，建设性的

参考例句：

• We welcome constructive criticism.我们乐意接受有建设性的批评。
• He is beginning to deal with his anger in a constructive way.他开始用建设性的方法处理自己的怒气。

5 detailed   

adj.详细的，详尽的，极注意细节的，完全的

参考例句：

• He had made a detailed study of the terrain.他对地形作了缜密的研究。
• A detailed list of our publications is available on request.我们的出版物有一份详细的目录备索。

6 overload   

vt.使超载；n.超载

参考例句：

• Don't overload the boat or it will sink.别超载，否则船会沉。
• Large meals overload the digestive system.吃得太饱会加重消化系统的负担。