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七条秘籍提升你的说服力

时间:2014-06-04 11:51来源:互联网 提供网友:mapleleaf   字体: [ ]
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   While many people don't like to sell, most find themselves having to persuade someone at some point. Persuasion1 is not just for salespeople2 and their prospects3. You may try to persuade an employee to perform better, or perhaps you want to persuade your boss to take on your brilliant idea. Often the most effective persuaders are your kids. Somehow they come by it naturally while you, the adult, has to work hard to find the persuasive4 path to success. Here are 7 things that the most persuasive people consistently do:

  很多人都不喜欢推销,但是有的时候不得不试图说服别人。不只有销售要说服别人拉到客户,你可能要劝员工更加卖力,或是要说服老板采纳你的建议。最会说服人的是你的孩子。然而他们不用人教,你却不容易找到成功说服别人的途径。以下七条是说服别人的金科玉律。
  1. They Are Purposeful
  有目的
  Truly persuasive people understand their power and use it sparingly and knowingly. They understand that most conversations do not require trying to get someone to do or accept something. Aggressive pushers are a turn-off and will put most people on the defensive5. It's the person who rarely asks or argues that ultimately gets consideration when they strongly advocate an idea, especially when they do it with power and persistence6. Want to persuade more? Argue and advocate less often.
  劝说专家明白自己的筹码,不会乱用,也不会不用。他们明白大多数谈话不需要费太多力气让对方同意或接受什么。用力过猛会引起反感,人家就不愿意听了。反而是很少要求或争辩的人极力主张什么想法,尤其是强烈且持久地主张,人家最后会考虑。想要更有说服力?平时少争辩,少主张。
  2. They Listen ... and Listen ... Then Listen Some More他们听……听……一直听
  People who know how to persuade also know that just pushing your own argument will get you nowhere. They certainly are able to articulate their position in a convincing way, but that is only half the equation. They are actively7 listening when in persuasion mode. First, they are listening to assess how receptive you are to their point of view. Second, they are listening for your specific objections, which they know they'll have to resolve. Last, they are listening for moments of agreement so they can capitalize on consensus8. Amazingly persuasive people are constantly listening to you and not themselves. They already know what they are saying. You can't persuade effectively if you don't know the other side of the argument.
  劝说专家还知道,只提你的想法是没用的。他们当然能令人信服地阐释他们的立场,但是那只是等式的一半,还要加上积极的倾听,那对劝说而言也很重要。首先,他们要听出你对他们的观点的接受程度,其次,他们要听你有什么特别的反对意见而他们必须要改进的,最后,他们要听一致的部分,哪怕只有一点点也好加以利用,达成共识。特别善于说服别人的人总是在听你说,而不是听自己喋喋不休,他们知道自己在说什么。知己知彼才能百战不殆。
  3. They Create a Connection
  他们建立联系
  It's easy to dismiss people who are trying to persuade you if you have no emotional stake in them or their argument. Really persuasive people know this, so they will be likeable and look for common ground to help establish emotional bonds and shared objectives. They show empathy for your position and make it known that they are on your side. They manage their impatience9 and wait for you to give them permission to advocate their approach. You'll persuade people much more easily if they are open and aligned10 with your desires.
  如果别人对你或是你的论点没有感情分,你会很容易驳回他。劝说专家知道这一点,所以他们会讨你喜欢,寻找共同之处,好建立感情纽带和共同的目标。他们对你的处境感同身受,让你觉得他们支持你。他们尽量耐心,等待你允许他们提出主张。如果对方愿意和你谈并且和你的利益相一致,那么你要说服人家就容易很多。
  4. They Acknowledge Credibility
  他们承认对方的可信度
  Really persuasive people understand that there is no sense wasting time arguing facts. Most of the world does not function in black and white. They value strong opinions and will make sure that you are entitled to yours. In fact, they will make sure they give you full credit for every argument of yours that has some validity. This makes it harder for you to fully11 dismiss their point of view. When you are persuading people, reinforce their credibility on facts and opinions rather than dismissing them outright12. Then they'll be more likely to pay you equal respect in the exchange and be more open to the merits of your opposing view.
  劝说专家明白浪费时间争论事实没有意义,这世界上很少有非黑即白的。他们喜欢强烈的观点,会确保你能表达你的观点。事实上,只要你说的有点道理他们就会愿意相信你,这样你就很难完全驳回他的观点。你在说服别人的时候可以在别人说事实和观点的时候表示信任,而不是一味地反驳,这样他们就可能回与你同样的尊重,更愿意接受你相反的意见里正确的地方。
  5. They Offer Satisfaction
  他们会让对方满意
  Smart persuaders know that they don't have to win every little battle to win the war. They are more than willing to sacrifice when it helps the overall cause. They are ready to find the easiest path to yes. Often that is simply to give you what you want whenever possible. In my old lending days, we would often deal with busy underwriters who asked for items we knew they already had. Instead of arguing the point, we would just resend the documents and save our energy for issues that were not so easily resolved. Give ground where you can and hold your ground only where it matters. Choose being successful over being right.
  聪明的劝说者知道要赢得全局不必锱铢必较。他们愿意非常为了整体的进程做出一些牺牲。他们总是知道怎么样能够最简单地达成目的。通常只要抓住机会就给你你想要的。我过去放贷款的时候我们经常碰到承销商问我们要一些文件,我们知道他们已经有了,可是我们不跟他们争论这一点,我们只是重新给他们发一遍文件,省点力气做难办的事。只要不触及底线,能让步就让步吧,成功比正确更重要。
  6. They Know When to Shut Up
  他们知道什么时候该闭嘴
  Successful persuaders get that you don't win the battle by constantly berating13 people with an unending verbal barrage14. Wearing people down is not an effective strategy. They carefully support their arguments and check in with questions that will help to close the conversation. Then they step back. The great sales trainer Tom Hopkins still today teaches these decades-old techniques of his mentor15 J. Douglas Edwards. His most important lesson is "Whenever you ask a closing question, shut up. The first person who speaks, loses."成功的劝说者知道要达到目的不能靠无休止的口头攻势来训斥别人,把别人磨烦了可不是有效的策略。他们小心地支撑着自己的观点,想想有什么问题可以让谈话早点结束,然后就不说了。了不起的销售培训师汤姆霍普金斯今天还传授者他的导师道格拉斯埃德沃兹的这些几十年来的老技术。他最重要的一课就是“问完终结问题就赶紧闭嘴,谁第一个说话就输了。”
  7. They Know When to Back Away
  他们知道什么时候该收手
  Urgency and immediacy are often the enemies of real persuasion. It's possible to close a less significant sale through urgency, but deep ideas require time and thought to take root. Great persuaders bring you along in your own time. And they give you the space and time to carefully consider their position. They know that nothing is more powerful than your persuading yourself on their behalf. That almost never occurs in the presence of the persuader. The next time you want to persuade someone of something truly important, follow the tips above, make your case, and walk away. If they don't come around, you were probably wasting your effort in the first place.
  紧迫感往往是说服工作的敌人。用紧迫感来达成一桩小买卖是可行的,但是有深度的想法需要时间和思考才能扎根。厉害的劝说者会让你一直想着他们的建议,会给你时间和空间仔细考虑他们的立场。他们知道没有什么比你代表他们给自己洗脑更有用的了,而这在劝说的当下基本是不会发生的。下次你要跟别人说一件特别重要的事情的话就照我说的做,说完了就走,如果人家不来找你,说明你一开始就在做无用功。
 

点击收听单词发音收听单词发音  

1 persuasion wMQxR     
n.劝说;说服;持有某种信仰的宗派
参考例句:
  • He decided to leave only after much persuasion.经过多方劝说,他才决定离开。
  • After a lot of persuasion,she agreed to go.经过多次劝说后,她同意去了。
2 salespeople xjuz25     
n.售货员,店员;售货员( salesperson的名词复数 )
参考例句:
  • The shop usually employs additional salespeople for the Christmas toy trade. 这家商店通常雇一些临时售货员来做圣诞节玩具生意。 来自《现代汉英综合大词典》
  • Under our new system, salespeople sit down with each of our dealers. 根据新的制度,销售人员应逐个地同承销商洽商。 来自辞典例句
3 prospects fkVzpY     
n.希望,前途(恒为复数)
参考例句:
  • There is a mood of pessimism in the company about future job prospects. 公司中有一种对工作前景悲观的情绪。
  • They are less sanguine about the company's long-term prospects. 他们对公司的远景不那么乐观。
4 persuasive 0MZxR     
adj.有说服力的,能说得使人相信的
参考例句:
  • His arguments in favour of a new school are very persuasive.他赞成办一座新学校的理由很有说服力。
  • The evidence was not really persuasive enough.证据并不是太有说服力。
5 defensive buszxy     
adj.防御的;防卫的;防守的
参考例句:
  • Their questions about the money put her on the defensive.他们问到钱的问题,使她警觉起来。
  • The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。
6 persistence hSLzh     
n.坚持,持续,存留
参考例句:
  • The persistence of a cough in his daughter puzzled him.他女儿持续的咳嗽把他难住了。
  • He achieved success through dogged persistence.他靠着坚持不懈取得了成功。
7 actively lzezni     
adv.积极地,勤奋地
参考例句:
  • During this period all the students were actively participating.在这节课中所有的学生都积极参加。
  • We are actively intervening to settle a quarrel.我们正在积极调解争执。
8 consensus epMzA     
n.(意见等的)一致,一致同意,共识
参考例句:
  • Can we reach a consensus on this issue?我们能在这个问题上取得一致意见吗?
  • What is the consensus of opinion at the afternoon meeting?下午会议上一致的意见是什么?
9 impatience OaOxC     
n.不耐烦,急躁
参考例句:
  • He expressed impatience at the slow rate of progress.进展缓慢,他显得不耐烦。
  • He gave a stamp of impatience.他不耐烦地跺脚。
10 aligned 165f93b99f87c219277d70d866425da6     
adj.对齐的,均衡的
参考例句:
  • Make sure the shelf is aligned with the top of the cupboard.务必使搁架与橱柜顶端对齐。
11 fully Gfuzd     
adv.完全地,全部地,彻底地;充分地
参考例句:
  • The doctor asked me to breathe in,then to breathe out fully.医生让我先吸气,然后全部呼出。
  • They soon became fully integrated into the local community.他们很快就完全融入了当地人的圈子。
12 outright Qj7yY     
adv.坦率地;彻底地;立即;adj.无疑的;彻底的
参考例句:
  • If you have a complaint you should tell me outright.如果你有不满意的事,你应该直率地对我说。
  • You should persuade her to marry you outright.你应该彻底劝服她嫁给你。
13 berating 94ff882a26ffd28d2b9df489ac6db40e     
v.严厉责备,痛斥( berate的现在分词 )
参考例句:
  • He deserved the berating that the coach gave him. 他活该受到教练的严厉训斥。 来自互联网
  • The boss is berating those who were late for work. 老板正在呵斥那些上班迟到的员工。 来自互联网
14 barrage JuezH     
n.火力网,弹幕
参考例句:
  • The attack jumped off under cover of a barrage.进攻在炮火的掩护下开始了。
  • The fierce artillery barrage destroyed the most part of the city in a few minutes.猛烈的炮火几分钟内便毁灭了这座城市的大部分地区。
15 mentor s78z0     
n.指导者,良师益友;v.指导
参考例句:
  • He fed on the great ideas of his mentor.他以他导师的伟大思想为支撑。
  • He had mentored scores of younger doctors.他指导过许多更年轻的医生。
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