If You Love Somebody

 　　THE ORIGINAL VERSION:

　　If you love something,

　　Set it free...

　　If it comes back, it's yours,

　　If it doesn't, it never was yours....

　　THE PESSIMIST¹ VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　If she ever comes back, she's yours,

　　If she doesn't, well, as expected, she never was.

　　THE OPTIMIST² VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　Don't worry, she will come back.

　　THE SUSPICIOUS VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　If she ever comes back, ask her why.

　　THE IMPATIENT VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　If she doesn't comes back within some time limit,

　　Forget her.

　　THE PATIENT VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　If she doesn't come back, continue to wait,

　　Until she comes back ...

　　THE PLAYFUL VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free ...

　　If she comes back, and if you love her still,

　　Set her free again, repeat *

　　THE LAWYER'S VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　Clause 1a of Paragraph 13a-1 in the second amendment³ of the Matrimonial Freedom

　　Act clearly states that...

　　THE BILL GATES VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　If she comes back,

　　I think we can charge her for re-installation fees and tell her that she's also

　　going to get an upgrade.

　　THE STATISTICIAN'S VERSION::

　　If you love somebody.

　　Set her free...

　　If she loves you, the probability of her coming back is high.

　　If she doesn't, your relationship was improbable anyway.

　　THE POSSESSIVE VERSION:

　　If you love somebody.

　　Don't ever set her free.

　　THE MBA VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　Instantaneously...

　　And look for others simultaneously⁴.

　　THE PSYCHOLOGIST'S VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　If she comes back, her super ego⁵ is dominant⁶.

　　If she doesn't come, back her id is supreme⁷.

　　If she doesn't go, she must be crazy.

　　THE FINANCE EXPERT VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　If she comes back, its time to look for fresh loans.

　　If she doesn't, write her off as an asset gone bad.

　　THE MARKETING⁸ VERSION:

　　If you love somebody,

　　Set her free...

　　If she comes back, she has brand loyalty⁹.

　　If she doesn't, reposition the brand in new markets.

1 pessimist   

n.悲观者；悲观主义者；厌世

参考例句：

• An optimist laughs to forget.A pessimist forgets to laugh.乐观者笑着忘却，悲观者忘记怎样笑。
• The pessimist sees difficulty in every opportunity.The optimist sees opportunity in every difficulty.悲观者在每个机会中都看到困难，乐观者在每个困难中都看到机会。

2 optimist   

n.乐观的人，乐观主义者

参考例句：

• We are optimist and realist.我们是乐观主义者，又是现实主义者。
• Peter,ever the optimist,said things were bound to improve.一向乐观的皮特说，事情必定是会好转的。

3 amendment   

n.改正，修正，改善，修正案

参考例句：

• The amendment was rejected by 207 voters to 143.这项修正案以207票对143票被否决。
• The Opposition has tabled an amendment to the bill.反对党已经就该议案提交了一项修正条款。

4 simultaneously   

adv.同时发生地，同时进行地

参考例句：

• The radar beam can track a number of targets almost simultaneously.雷达波几乎可以同时追着多个目标。
• The Windows allow a computer user to execute multiple programs simultaneously.Windows允许计算机用户同时运行多个程序。

5 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

6 dominant   

adj.支配的，统治的；占优势的；显性的；n.主因，要素，主要的人(或物)；显性基因

参考例句：

• The British were formerly dominant in India.英国人从前统治印度。
• She was a dominant figure in the French film industry.她在法国电影界是个举足轻重的人物。

7 supreme   

adj.极度的，最重要的；至高的，最高的

参考例句：

• It was the supreme moment in his life.那是他一生中最重要的时刻。
• He handed up the indictment to the supreme court.他把起诉书送交最高法院。

8 marketing   

n.行销，在市场的买卖，买东西

参考例句：

• They are developing marketing network.他们正在发展销售网络。
• He often goes marketing.他经常去市场做生意。

9 loyalty   

n.忠诚，忠心

参考例句：

• She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
• His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。