初次约会技巧-分享秘密(2)

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初次约会技巧

 

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Emotional, personal information exchange during first date conversation promotes powerful feelings of connection.

 

A psychologist at the State University of New Yorkat Stony¹ Brook², is interested in how people form romantic relationships, and he's come up with an ingenious way of taking men and women who have never met before and making them feel close to one another. Given that he has just an hour or so to create the intimacy³ levels that typically take weeks, months, or years to form, he accelerated the getting-to-know-you process through a set ofthirty-six questions crafted to take the participants rapidly from level one in McAdams's system to level two.

 

But how effective can this be, really?

 

In under an hour it can create a connection stronger than a lifelong friendship.

 

What he found was striking. The intensity⁴ of the dialogue partners' bond at the end of the forty-five-minute vulnerability interaction was rated as closer than the closest relationship in the lives of 30 percent of similar students. In other words, the instant connections were more powerful than many long-term, even lifelong relationships.

 

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