Lesson Five
Short Conversations
Peace on False Pretences
Whittaker: The problem might be that you tried to make peace on false pretences.
Connie: False what?
Whittaker: Pretences. It's uh, well...well, let me put it another way. You tried to make peace by ignoring the source of the conflict rather than resolving it.
Connie: What does that mean?
Whittaker: You expected Donna and Jessie to apologize for saying things that may well be true. Donna might be a take-charge kind of person, so Jessie isn't actually wrong when she says so. And maybe Jessie really isn't very organized, so...
Connie: Donna isn't wrong for saying so, either. Yeah, I get it.
Whittaker: Well, there's no place for name-calling. But there's also no point in making them apologize for being right about each other. Even if they did apologize, it wouldn't bring lasting peace. Sooner or later, it would all come up again.
Connie: Well, then what are you saying I should do?
Whittaker: Well, I suppose before you try to get them to make up with each other, you need to make your own peace with them. |