Doctor:"I don't understand that, but lets try a small test. Say after me: eighty-eight".

    John: "Fourty-four".

    3. Doctor:　I have some bad news and some very bad news.

    Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.

    Doctor:　The lab called with your test results.　They said you have 24 hours to live.

    Patient: 24 HOURS!　That's terrible!!　WHAT could be WORSE?　What's the very bad news?

    Doctor:　I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.

    4. A guy with a banana in his nose, a cucumber in his left ear, and a carrot in his right ear goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, what is wrong with me"? The doctor says, "You're not eating right".

    5. Doctor - "Deep breathing, you understand, destroys microbes."Patient - "But, doctor, how can I force them to breathe deeply?"6. A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"7. A man was hit by a cab in the street. He was brought to the hospital. His wife who was standing up by his bed, said to the doctor: "I think that he is very ill." "I am afraid that he is dead."said the doctor,Hearing this, the man moved his head and said: "I'm not dead. I'm still alive." "Be quiet, "said the wife. "The doctor knows better than you!"8. Doctor: Please open your mouth, madam.

    Lady: Thank you very much, doctor.

    Doctor: Why do you thank me?

    Lady: Because my husband always asked me to shut up.