美国婚礼所带来的重荷（在线收听）

American Weddings Create Stress

美国婚礼所带来的重荷

For days, the story of Jennifer Willbanks, the so-called "runaway bride," has been big news in American newspapers and tabloids. The young woman faked her own disappearance, shortly before she was to be married, only to reappear several days later, tearful and contrite.

Ms. Wilbanks' motivations are still unclear. But her saga has drawn attention to what many say are the extraordinary psychological and emotional stresses of getting married in America today.

VOA, Adam Phillips’ report.

Getting married is one of the few enduring rites of passage in American life. It's a ritual most choose willingly. For many women, it's also a ritual over which they exercise almost total control - from the style of their gown and veil to the color of the invitations to the matching manicures on the bridesmaids.

Laurie Sue Brockway is an interdenominational minister and the author of "Wedding Goddess: A Divine Guide To Transforming Wedding Stress into Wedding Bliss." She says one problem with weddings these days is that "marriage American style" is a growing multi-billion dollar a year industry.

Laurie Sue Brockway: It used to be you would choose a priest, a rabbi, a house of worship, and you'd have your ceremony, have a party, and then you'd have dinner. And it would really be on a smaller scale. But nowadays, we've gotten into a way of celebrating weddings similar to the way royalty and the rich used to celebrate.

Reverend Brockway says that the sheer number of decisions a bride must make as she contemplates her wedding day can create both confusion and stress.

Laurie Sue Brockway: Where? When? What time of year? Indoor? Outdoor? Who do we invite? Do we invite our friends from work? Do we just invite the family? Do we invite extended relatives? Where do we cut the guest list off? How many people does my mother get to invite?

Reverend Brockway notes that in addition to the external pressure facing both brides and grooms，there are powerful internal adjustments to be made

Many traditional cultures continue to view marriage primarily as a social or economic contract between bride and groom and their families or clans，but not here.

Reverend Brockway: Most Americans tend to look at marriage as a love contract and their relationship is sacred to them. They have to be sure they safeguard their relationship when planning a wedding ceremony that empowers that and creates a foundation for that. I mean, it's not about the dress! It's about what is going to give the marriage the best start. The minute you lose sight of why you are doing this, the wedding becomes "entertainment' and you are really on the 'stress express' to the wedding altar.

Reverend Brockway recommends that brides seek out emotional support during the wedding preparation process - which can sometimes last a year or more. Here again, one has many options: There are numerous Internet chat rooms for brides, for example, or the bride-to-be can meet regularly with other brides in the community to talk informally about the challenge of getting married. Ms. Brockway and a colleague host a free weekly meeting in New York, where they discuss some of the tips in her new book.

Reverend Brockway: And the first thing I suggest to brides is to do some 'spring cleaning' for your heart and soul. Just sort of clear the decks, get rid of old relationship memorabilia and let go of things that may stand in the way of your having a happy marriage. And then you have to make sure you really take care of yourself. And really put things in your life that help you relax throughout the wedding experience. You should be taking time for yourself. Take a walk. Exercise. Take a bath. Address self-care. The runaway bride may not have taken time for herself and just sort of fell apart at the end.

Minister Laurie Sue Brockway adds that in addition to taking care of oneself during the wedding process, new spouses must also deepen their connection with each other - and in ways that reaffirm the unique personal adventure they begin together when they say 'I do.'

注释：

tabloid [ 5tAblCid ] n. 小报

contrite [ 5kCntrait ] adj. 深感懊悔的

manicure [ 5mAnikjuE ] n. 修指甲

interdenominational [ 7intEdi7nCmi5neiFEnl ] adj. 派系间的

rabbi [5rAbai] n. 法师

memorabilia [ 7memErE5biliE ] n. 大事记