A Valentine for Grandma（在线收听）

A Valentine for Grandma

It was just a harmless ¹⁾prank, that’s all it was.

And it wasn’t as if Old Lady Hayes didn’t deserve it. The way she used to scream at us for “borrowing” a few of her precious ²⁾raspberries each summer, like we were stealing gold out of ³⁾Fort Knox － well, she had it coming.

At least, that’s the way we saw it as George finished tying the string to the red, heart-shaped box. We giggled as Ron added the final touch: two plastic red roses, glued to the lid. “I wonder what will surprise her most,” I asked as George practiced ⁴⁾jerking the box out of reach by ⁵⁾yanking on the string, “seeing a box of candy on her step, or watching it fly away when she tries to pick it up?”

We laughed as we watched George make Albert chase the box around the garage. For a ⁶⁾chubby 10-year-old, Albert did a good imitation of Mrs. Hayes’s ⁷⁾hunched ⁸⁾hobble and her seemingly permanent ⁹⁾scowl. And we howled when he picked up a broom and pretended to ride it through the ¹⁰⁾midwinter air while shouting, “I’m Old Lady Hayes, the ¹¹⁾driedest-up old ¹²⁾prune in the West!”

Ron was first to notice my dad in the doorway. Within seconds, Ron’s anxiety was shared by all but Albert, who continued to ¹³⁾swoop around the garage until he came ¹⁴⁾face-to-belt-buckle with our silent observer. For a moment, the only movement in the room came from the little puffs of steam escaping our mouths. Dad broke the stillness by walking slowly to the empty candy box lying on the floor. He picked it up, and ¹⁵⁾dangled it by the string and watched it swing back and forth. Then he looked into the eyes of the frightened boys. And, as was his custom, he looked into their hearts as well.

“It doesn’t seem so long ago that I was pulling Valentine’s Day pranks,” he said as he laid the box on a ¹⁶⁾workbench. “One year my cousins and I decided to pull one on our Grandma Walker even though we loved her － she was the sweetest grandma a boy could have. We were just feeling ¹⁷⁾devilish and decided to have some fun at her expense.

“Early in the evening we ¹⁸⁾snuck up to her doorstep with a can of red paint. Grandma was hard of hearing, so we didn’t have to worry about being very quiet, which was a good thing, because every time we thought about how funny it was going to be to see Grandma try to pick up a valentine that was just painted on her doorstep, we couldn’t keep from laughing.

“It didn’t take long, and it wasn’t very artistic. But for an old woman with bad eyes, it would do. We kicked the door and hid behind the bushes. When Grandma finally appeared she stood in the doorway, her gray hair pulled back tightly into her usual ¹⁹⁾bun, wiping her hands on her usual apron. She must have heard the ²⁰⁾commotion in the bushes because she looked in our direction and spoke loudly enough for us to hear, ‘Who could be knocking at my door?’ Then she looked down. Even from 15 feet away we could see the joy in her eyes when she ²¹⁾spotted a splash of red at her feet.

“’A valentine for Grandma!’ she ²²⁾exclaimed. ‘And I thought I’d be forgotten again this year!’

“She tried to ²³⁾retrieve her prize. This was the moment we had been waiting for, but somehow it wasn’t as much fun as we expected. Grandma ²⁴⁾groped at the fresh paint for a moment. Slowly, she figured out our prank. She tried to smile. Then, with as much dignity as she could ²⁵⁾muster, she turned and walked back into her house, absently wiping red paint on her clean, white apron.”

Dad paused, and for the first time I noticed that his eyes were moist. He took a deep breath. “Grandma died later that year,” he said. “I never had another chance to give her a real valentine.”

He took the box from the bench and handed it to me. Then he turned and left the garage. Later that night a red, heart-shaped box with two plastic roses on it was placed on Mrs. Hayes’ front doorstep by six giggling boys. We hid behind snow-covered bushes to see how she would react to receiving a full pound of candy and nuts.

With no strings attached.

注释：

1) prank [prANk] n. 胡闹，恶作剧

2) raspberry [5rB:zbEri] n. 山莓

3) Fort Knox 纳克斯堡，美国国家黄金储藏地，位于肯塔基州
4) jerk [dVE:k] v. 急拉

5) yank [jANk] v. 猛拉

6) chubby [5tFQbi] a. 圆脸的；丰满的

7) hunch [hQntF] v. 使（背部等）弯成弓状；使隆起

8) hobble [5hCbl] n. 跛行

9) scowl [skaul] n. 怒容；愁眉苦脸

10) midwinter [mId5wIntE(r)] n. 仲冬，冬至（十二月二十二日左右）

11) dried [draid] a. 弄干了的。dried-up，干缩的

12) prune [pru:n] n. （美俚）傻瓜；讨厌的人

13) swoop [swu:p] v. 飞扑，猛扑

14) face-to-belt-buckle   belt-buckle是皮带上的搭扣。因为父亲比阿尔伯特高，因此阿尔伯特一转身，刚好只及父亲腰部，面对父亲皮带上的搭扣

15) dangle [5dAN^l] v. 使摇晃地挂着

16) workbench [5w\:kbentF] n. 工作台

17) devilish [5devliF] a. 精力旺盛的

18) sneak [sni:k] v. 鬼鬼祟祟地走。其过去式可以是sneaked或snuck，尤其是在方言中snuck用得比较多

19) bun [bQn] n. 小面包状的卷发

20) commotion [kE5mEuFEn] n. 混乱；骚动

21) spot [spCt] v. （口）认出，发现

22) exclaim [iks5kleim] v. （由于惊讶、痛苦、愤怒、高兴等而）呼喊；大声说

23) retrieve [ri5tri:v] n. 取回，收回

24) grope [^rEup] v. （暗中）摸索

25) muster [5mQstE] v. 振起，鼓起

祖母的情人节

那只是一次无伤大雅的恶作剧，仅此而已。

这并不是说哈雅斯老奶奶就不应该被捉弄。就因为我们每个夏天都要从她那儿“借”几颗珍贵的山莓，她就朝我们大叫，好像我们从纳克斯堡偷了金子似的—是她自己促成这事儿的。

至少，在乔治给红色心形盒子系上绳子的时候我们就是这样想的。当罗恩完成最后一道程序：将两朵塑料红玫瑰花粘在盒盖上的时候，大家都吃吃地笑起来。“我想知道什么会最让她吃惊，”当乔治试着猛地一拽绳子把盒子拉起来，这样别人就拿不到了的时候我问道，“是在台阶前看到一盒糖果的时候，还是在她准备将它捡起来时却眼睁睁地看着它飞走的时候？”

乔治使得阿尔伯特绕着车库追盒子，大家看得笑起来。十岁的阿尔伯特长着一张圆圆的脸蛋，他学哈雅斯夫人弯腰驼背、步履蹒跚，似乎总是一脸怒容的样子真是惟妙惟肖。他拾起一把扫帚，假装骑着它穿行在隆冬的空气中，一边大叫，“我是哈雅斯老太太，西方最干瘪的老傻瓜！”我们都跟着大叫起来。

罗恩首先发现我父亲站在门口。很快，每个人像罗恩一样焦急起来，除了阿尔伯特，他依然在车库里扑腾着，直到和一直在默默看着的我的父亲撞个正着。一时间，车库里唯一活动着的便是从我们嘴巴里呼出来的气息了。父亲打破了僵局，他慢慢走向躺在地上的空糖盒，捡起来，拎着绳子晃了两晃，看着它来回摆动。然后他看着吓坏了的男孩们的眼睛，就如他一贯的能耐，他也看透了他们的心。

“我在情人节那天干的恶作剧似乎就发生在昨天，”他把盒子放在一个工作台上时说道，“有一年，我和表哥表弟们决定给沃克奶奶开个玩笑，尽管我们爱她——她是天下最好的老奶奶。我们只是精力过剩，并决定跟她逗逗乐。

“那天晚上一等夜幕降临，我们就拿着一罐红油漆蹑手蹑脚地来到她的门阶前。老奶奶耳朵不大好，所以我们不用太轻手轻脚。这真是件乐事，因为，只要一想到老奶奶试图捡起一份画在台阶上的情人节礼物会有多滑稽时，我们就忍不住笑。

“没用多久我们就画好了，它画得并不好。但对于一位眼睛不大好的老妇人来说，已经足够以假乱真了。我们踢了门几下，然后藏到灌木丛后。老奶奶终于出来了，她站在门口，灰白的头发向后梳起，像往常那样紧紧挽成一个髻，在她往常系着的那条围裙上擦着手。她一定是听到了灌木丛中的动静，因为她朝我们的方向望了望，然后用我们都能听见的音量大声说∶‘谁会来敲我的门呢？’她向下看了看。即使在15英尺外，我们也能看到当她发现脚下那一抹红的时候眼睛里闪现的喜悦。

“‘给奶奶的情人节礼物！’她高兴地大声说道，‘我还以为今年我又被人遗忘了呢！’

“她试着拿起她的礼物。这一刻是我们等待已久的，但是不知为什么却没有我们所期望的那么好笑。老奶奶在还未干的油漆上摸索片刻。逐渐地，她明白了这是一个恶作剧。她努力微笑着，竭力保持着尊严，返身回屋，心不在焉地在她干净洁白的围裙上擦着手上的红漆。”

父亲停止了述说，第一次，我发现他的眼睛湿了。他深深吸了一口气。“就在那年，没过多久老奶奶就去世了，”他说，“我再也没有机会送给她一份真正的情人节礼物了。”

他拿起长凳上的盒子递给我，转身离开了车库。那天晚上晚些时候，一个红色的心形盒子被六个吃吃笑着的男孩放在了哈雅斯夫人的前门台阶上，盒盖上还有两朵塑料玫瑰花。我们藏在白雪覆盖的灌木丛里看她收到整整一磅糖果和干果后会有怎样的反应。

盒子上没系绳子。