The Communication Code Breakers

 

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Cutting off discussion: She persistently cuts her peers off, sometimes in mid-sentence. The code: “I’m overly eager to get my point across.” Cracking the code: “Why don’t we each take two minutes to summarize our individual views?”

 

Having side debates: He discusses some aspect of the meeting with the person seated next to him. The code: “I have a side agenda.” Cracking the code: “Let’s explore what you think about this issue.”

 

Defending the status quo: She says, “But we’ve always done it that way.” The code: “I’m fearful of changing my habits and trying something new.” Cracking the code: “It seems like change may be very hard. Let’s use your expertise to figure out how we can test what we’re talking about.”

 

Techniques for cracking the code

 

People who crack the communication code are great listeners. They hear every word that’s being spoken, but more importantly, they hear the message behind the words. They’re also able to skillfully direct conversation toward more productive ends.

 

A few of the techniques great code breakers use include:

 

Affirmation: Confirming the validity and worth of both the person speaking and his views.

 

Empathy: Publicly articulating—and legitimizing—the feelings of other participants.

 

Examination: Asking productive questions.

 

Reflection: Encouraging participants — either individually or as an entire group — to pause and contemplate issues under debate.

 

Summarization: Realizing the group is approaching agreement on an issue, and helping shape group consensus.

 

Perspective: Helping other participants focus on the big issues, leaving the petty concerns behind.

 

Urgency: Keeping things moving through subtle encouragement and task-making suggestions.

 

Silence: Emphasizing the importance of careful deliberation by remaining silent. Good code breakers’ silence can be eloquent. Then, when they speak, their concise and thoughtful views are respected.

Vocabulary Focus

status quo (n) the present situation or condition

articulate (v) [B:5tikjulit] to explain in words, especially to express something clearly

legitimize (v) [li5dViti7maiz] to make something legal, reasonable or acceptable

 

Specialized Terms

facilitator (n) 促进者；主导者 someone who helps a group reach a decision; a person who enables others to find their own solutions to problems or tasks

side agenda (n) 计划外的议程；另外的讨论事项 a plan or goal that is separate from the main issues scheduled to be discussed

沟通解码家

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打断讨论：她不断地打断同僚的发言，甚至不让对方把话说完。她的密码是：“我很渴望表达自己的看法。”破解方式：“我们何不每个人花两分钟，扼要表达出个人的想法？”

和别人私下讨论：他与邻座的人讨论会议的某个层面。他的密码是：“我有别的事想讨论。”破解方式：“我们来探讨一下你对这个议题的看法。”

固守现状：她说：“可是我们一直都这样做啊。”她的密码是：“我害怕改变习惯、尝试新事物。”破解方式：“改变好像真的很难。这样好了，让我们借用你的专长，看看能如何试试我们讨论的想法。”

 

破解密码的诀窍

能破解沟通密码的人是极好的聆听者。他们不但听到别人所说的每一字每一句，更重要的是听懂话语背后所传达的讯息。同时，他们也能很有技巧地将谈话导向建设性的结果。杰出的译码家会使用的一些技巧包括：

♦ 肯定：肯定发话者及其观点的正确性和价值。

♦ 同理心：当众表明并承认其它与会者的感受很合理。

♦ 检视：提出建设性的问题。

♦ 深思：鼓励每个与会者或大家暂停，以便好好思考一下正在讨论的议题。

♦ 作摘要：明白大家正逐渐在一个议题上达成协议，并协助形成整体共识。

♦ 具宏观角度：帮助其它与会者专注在重要议题上，并把小事置于脑后。

♦ 敦促：通过不着痕迹的鼓励和任务导向的建议，使工作持续进行。

♦ 沉默：以保持沉默来强调深思熟虑的重要。杰出解码家的沉默也可以是动人有力的。这样一来，当他们开口时，精确、深思的论点就会受到敬重。