-Sheldon：Okay, well, since I'm obviously being ignored here,

　　好吧，既然我明显被无视，

　　let's go over the morning schedule.

　　咱们来回顾一下早晨的时间安排。

　　I use the bathroom from 7:00 to 7:20.

　　我7点到7:20之间要用卫生间。

　　Plan your ablutions and bodily functions accordingly.

　　请相应安排你的洗漱和生理需要。

　　-Penny：How am I supposed to plan my bodily functions?

　　我怎么能安排自己的生理需要?

　　-Sheldon：I suggest no liquids after 11:00 p.m.

　　我建议你11点以后别喝水。

　　-Leonard：Here you go.

　　给你。

　　-Penny：Thanks, Leonard.

　　谢谢你Leonard。

　　-Sheldon：Wrong.

　　错了。

　　-Penny：I'm listening.

　　我在听。

　　-Sheldon：Your head goes on the other end.

　　你应该头朝那边睡。

　　-Penny：Why?

　　为什么？

　　-Sheldon：It's culturally universal.

　　这是普遍的文化现象。

　　A bed, even a temporary bed,

　　一张床，就算是临时的床，

　　is always oriented with the headboard away from the door.

　　床头板总是放置在远离门的方向。

　　It serves the ancient imperative of protecting oneself against marauders.

　　在古代这对于保护人们不受野兽袭击十分重要。

　　-Penny：I'll risk it.

　　我甘愿冒这个险。

　　Anything else should I know?

　　还有什么我要知道的吗？

　　-Sheldon：Yes, if you use my toothbrush,

　　有，如果你用了我的牙刷，

　　I'll jump out that window.

　　我就从那扇窗户跳出去。

　　Please don't come to my funeral.

　　请别来参加我的葬礼。

　　Have a good night.

　　祝你晚安。

　　-Leonard：Sorry about that.

　　真不好意思。

　　-Penny：That's okay.

　　没关系。

　　-Leonard：FYI-- his toothbrush is the red one in the Plexiglas case under the UV light.

　　对了，他的牙刷是那支红色的，放在树脂杯里正在紫外光下消毒。

　　-Penny：Got it.

　　知道了。

　　-Leonard：Well, sleep tight.

　　睡个好觉。

　　-Penny：Thanks.

　　谢谢。

　　-Leonard：Funny expression, "sleep tight."

　　真是个有趣的表达"睡个好觉"。

　　It refers to the early construction of beds which featured a mattress suspended on interlocking ropes, which would occasionally...

　　过去床的结构是这样的，床垫铺在纵横交错绷紧的鬃绳上，所以有时候就会...

　　Sleep tight.

　　睡个好觉。

　　-Leonard：What are you doing?

　　你干什么?

　　-Sheldon：Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment

　　自从我们住进这间公寓，

　　I have awakened at 6:15,poured myself a bowl of cereal,

　　每周六早晨我都会在6:15醒来为自己倒一碗麦片，

　　added a quarter cup of two percent milk,

　　加入1/4杯脂肪含量2%的纯奶，

　　sat on this end of this couch

　　坐在沙发的这一头，

　　turned on BBC America, and watched Doctor Who.

　　打开BBC America频道看"神秘博士"。

　　-Leonard：Penny's still sleeping.

　　Penny还在睡觉。

　　-Sheldon：Every Saturday since we've lived in this apartment

　　自从我们住进这间公寓，

　　I have awakened at 6:15, poured myself a bowl of cereal...

　　每周六早晨我都会在6:15醒来为自己倒一碗麦片...

　　-Leonard：I know, I know.

　　我知道，我知道。

　　Look, you have a TV in your room.

　　你自己的房间里有一台电视

　　Why don't you just have breakfast in bed?

　　你干吗不在床上吃早餐呢？

　　-Sheldon：Because I am neither an invalid, nor a woman celebrating Mother's Day.

　　因为我既不是个残疾人，也不是个欢度母亲节的妈妈。

　　-Penny：What time is it?

　　现在几点了？

　　-Leonard：Almost 6:30.

　　快6点半了。

　　-Penny：I slept all day?

　　我睡了一天?

　　-Leonard：No, it's 6:30 in the morning.

　　不，是早上6点半。

　　-Penny：What the hell is your problem?

　　你们俩到底有什么毛病？

　　-Sheldon：Okay, this cereal has lost all its molecular integrity.

　　好了，麦片已经丧失了分子结构的完整性。

　　I now have a bowl of shredded wheat paste.

　　我现在端的是一碗麦糊糊。

　　-Howard：Oh, nerd-migos.

　　大家好，傻瓜们。

　　-Penny：Why do you people hate sleep?

　　你们为什么都讨厌睡觉呢？

　　Are you wearing my robe?

　　你穿的是我的睡袍吗？

　　-Howard：Oh, yeah. Sorry, I'll have it cleaned.

　　哦，是的，对不起，我会洗干净。

　　-Penny：That's okay, keep it.

　　不用了，你自己留着吧。

　　Where's Christy?

　　Christy在哪儿？

　　-Howard：In the shower.

　　她在洗澡。

　　Oh, by the way, where did you get that loofah mitt?

　　对了，你的丝瓜沐浴手套是在哪儿买的？

　　Yours reaches places that mine just won't.

　　有些部位我用我自己的够不着。

　　-Penny：You used my loofah?

　　你用了我的丝瓜手套?

　　-Howard：More precisely, we used your loofah.

　　准确的说，我们用了你的丝瓜手套。

　　I exfoliated her brains out.

　　我帮她彻底去了死皮。

　　-Penny：You can keep that, too.

　　那个你也留着吧。

　　-Howard：Ah. Well, then we'll probably need to talk about your stuffed bear collection.

　　好吧，我们可能还得谈谈你收藏的毛绒熊。

　　-Christy：Howard?

　　Howard?

　　-Howard：In here, milady!

　　我在这儿夫人。

　　-Christy：There's my little engine that could.

　　原来我的小马达在这儿啊。

　　-Sheldon：Well, there's one beloved children's book I'll never read again.

　　我再也不会读我那本心爱的小人书了。

　　-Christy：Hi. Christy.

　　嗨，我是Christy。

　　-Leonard：Leonard.

　　Leonard。

　　-Sheldon：I'm Sheldon.

　　我是Sheldon。

　　-Christy：Right.

　　是你啊。

　　You're Howard's entourage.

　　你是Howard的随从。

　　-Penny：Uh, so, Christy, what are your plans?

　　Christy 你是怎么计划的?

　　-Christy：Oh, well, Howard said he'd take me shopping in Beverly Hills.

　　Howard说他要带我去贝佛利山庄购物。

　　-Penny：Yeah, no, I meant plans to find someplace to live.

　　好吧，我是说找地方住的计划，

　　You know, other than with me.

　　而不是和我住一起。

　　Not that I don't love having you,

　　我不是不乐意让你留下，

　　but it's... it's a little crowded.

　　只是...这儿有点儿挤。

　　-Leonard：You know, Penny, you're always welcome to stay with us.

　　Penny我们很欢迎你住我们这里。

　　-Sheldon：Oh, terrific. Now we're running a cute little.

　　这下可好，我们现在开了家可爱的B&B (含早餐的小旅馆)。

　　-Howard：Let me offer a little outside-the-box thinking here.

　　让我来贡献一些创造性思维吧。

　　Why doesn't Christy stay with me?

　　为什么不让Christy住我那里呢?

　　-Leonard：For one thing, you live with your mother.

　　首先你跟着你妈住。

　　-Howard：I do not. My mother lives with me.

　　我才没有，我妈跟着我住。

　　-Sheldon：Well, then it's all settled. Christy will stay with Howard,

　　好了，都解决了，Christy住Howard那里，

　　Penny can go back to her apartment

　　Penny回到她自己的公寓，

　　and I'll watch the last 24 minutes of Doctor Who.

　　我可以看"神秘博士"的最后24分钟。

　　Although at this point, it's more like Doctor Why Bother?

　　现在不如叫做"还看什么看?"博士。

　　-Leonard：Sheldon, you just can't dictate...

　　Sheldon 你不能发号施令...

　　-Sheldon：No more talking! Everybody go!

　　不许再说了，大家都走吧。

　　-Howard：So what do you say? Want to repair to Casa Wolowitz?

　　你觉得呢，你想去Casa Wolowitz吗?

　　-Christy：What is that, like a Mexican deli?

　　那是什么，一家墨西哥熟食店?

　　-Howard：I'm sorry, I should have mentioned this earlier.

　　对不起，我应该早点告诉你。

　　My last name is Wolowitz.

　　我的姓是Wolowitz。

　　-Christy：Oh, that's so cool.

　　真的很酷。

　　My first Jew.

　　我的第一个犹太男人。

　　-Sheldon：I imagine there aren't very many Kosher Cornhuskers.

　　我猜内布拉斯加州没多少剥玉米皮的犹太佬。

　　-Christy：But you're still taking me shopping, right?

　　但你还是会带我去购物的对吗?

　　-Howard：Anything you want.

　　你想干什么都行。

　　-Christy：Okay, I'll go pack my stuff.

　　好，我去收拾我的东西。

　　-Howard：When they perfect human cloning, I'm going to order 12 of those.

　　等克隆人技术完善了，我要订做一打她。

　　-Leonard：Howard, can't you see she's using you?

　　Howard你没看出她是在利用你吗？

　　-Howard：Who cares? Last night,

　　管它呢？昨天晚上，

　　she pulled off her blouse and I wept.

　　她脱了衣服，我激动得哭了。

　　-Penny：Look, Howard, I know her. Okay?

　　Howard我了解她。

　　She'll have sex with anyone,

　　她可以和任何人上床，

　　as long as they keep buying her things.

　　只要他们给她买东西。

　　-Howard：Really?

　　真的吗？

　　-Penny：Ye.

　　真的。

　　-Howard：Yay!

　　耶！

　　ablutions：洗漱

　　imperative：极重要的

　　marauders：掠夺者

　　FYI：for your information的缩写，意为供你参考

　　Plexiglas：树脂玻璃

　　UV light：紫外光

　　invalid：病人，残疾人

　　exfoliate：使脱落

　　entourage：随从