What do you want,Sheldon?

　　可能现在不是时候

　　Maybe this isn't a good time.

　　快说你干嘛吵醒我  不然我对天发誓我会杀了你

　　Tell me why you woke me up or I swear to God I will kill you.

　　你真觉得用死亡威胁我

　　Do you really think death threats

　　是展开谈话的恰当方式吗

　　are an appropriate way to begin this conversation?

　　有时候  你的社交能力少得简直让我震惊

　　Sometimes your lack of social skills astonishes me.

　　你到底想干嘛

　　What do you want?

　　你最好先坐下

　　You may want to sit down.

　　我正躺着呢

　　I'm in bed!

　　了解

　　Point taken.

　　你最好先坐起来

　　You may want to sit up.

　　谢尔顿

　　Sheldon!

　　我一直在背着你见佩妮

　　I've been seeing Penny behind your back.

　　好吧

　　Okay...

　　你说你"见佩妮"  到底什么意思

　　When you say "seeing Penny," what exactly does that mean?

　　我们昨晚一起吃晚餐了

　　We had dinner last night.

　　她给我做了意粉加热狗丁

　　She made me spaghetti with little hot dogs cut up in it.

　　虽然热狗丁很少

　　Well,little hot dog.

　　因为还有五根热狗我都给那条真的狗狗吃了

　　I gave up the other five hot dogs to a real dog.

　　很大只的真的狗狗

　　A real,big dog.

　　是条该死的猎狗

　　A hell hound.

　　我好像离题太远了

　　Tangential to the primary story.

　　等下再绕回来说如何

　　How about I circle back to it?

　　好

　　Fine.

　　你为什么要跟佩妮一起晚餐

　　Why did you have dinner with Penny?

　　我说过了  她做了意粉加热狗丁

　　I told you,she made spaghetti with little hot dogs.

　　我喜欢吃意粉加热狗丁

　　I like spaghetti with little hot dogs.

　　那你为什么还跟我们一起吃中餐

　　Then why did you have Chinese food with us?

　　我是怕你不高兴

　　I didn't want to upset you.

　　霍华德说得很清楚  我应该先效忠于

　　Howard made it very clear that my allegiance should be

　　男同志  而不是为钱卖身的女人们

　　to male comrades before women who sell their bodies for money.

　　莫非他说的是  兄弟比妓女重要

　　Is it possible he said,"Bros before hos"?

　　对  我改了下措辞  避免提到妓女这个词

　　Yes,but I rephrased it to avoid offending the hos.

　　谢尔顿  你跟佩妮做不做朋友我都无所谓

　　Sheldon,I don't care if you want to be friends with Penny.

　　这么说  一直困扰我让我噩梦连连的

　　Oh. Well,so the emotional turmoil that's been keeping me

　　这种情绪波动  真的是完全不应该啊

　　from achieving REM sleep was entirely unjustified?

　　没错

　　Yes.

　　要是我奶奶肯定会说

　　Well... then as my meemaw would say,

　　我们在这宰猪待客  可居然没人想吃培根[都不领情]

　　"Looks like we butchered a pig,but nobody wanted bacon."

　　我想是的

　　I guess not.

　　现在  之前我承诺过的  那个题外话

　　And now,as promised,the tangent.

　　谢尔顿大战猎狗记

　　Sheldon and the Hell Hound.

　　或者说"谁动了我的热狗"

　　Or How I Lost My Hot Dogs.

　　我还是回头再来吧

　　I,I can come back.

　　别傻了

　　D-don't be silly.

　　我们是邻居

　　We're neighbors.

　　抬头不见低头见

　　We're going to run into each other.

　　还是早点习惯的好

　　May as well get used to it.

　　嗯  你说得对

　　Yeah,I guess you're right.

　　你习惯了吗

　　You used to it yet?

　　-还没  -我也是

　　- Nope. - Me neither.

　　谢尔顿好像认为他跟你出去

　　Oh,Sheldon seemed to think that I would be upset

　　我会不高兴

　　about you hanging out with him.

　　我只是告诉你  没事的

　　But I just want you to know it's fine.

　　太好了  因为他妈妈打电话给我了

　　Oh,oh,good,because,um,his mother called me.

　　他妈妈

　　His mother?

　　对  她想让我带他出去买床单和毛巾

　　Yeah,she wants me to take him shopping for sheets and towels.

　　我本来打算带他去的

　　I was going to do that.

　　是吗  那还是你带吧

　　Oh,well,then you... you do it.

　　不  我根本就不想带  还是你来吧

　　No,I don't want to do it. You can do it.

　　好  那你可以带他去买鞋

　　Okay,you can take him for shoes.

　　我刚带他去买过鞋

　　I just took him for shoes.

　　我只知道他说那鞋子挤脚

　　Well,all I know is he says they hurt his feet.

　　好吧  下周六我会带他去买鞋

　　Fine. I'll take him for shoes next Saturday.

　　不行不行  我们一帮同事

　　Oh,no,no,no-- a bunch of us from work

　　下周六要去迪斯尼乐园

　　are going to Disneyland next Saturday

　　谢尔顿也想一起去

　　and Sheldon wants to come.

　　你们要带他去迪斯尼乐园

　　You're taking him to Disneyland?

　　我讲电话订计划的时候他正好听到

　　Well,he heard me making plans on the phone.

　　那我还能拒绝吗

　　Was I going to say "no"?

　　好吧

　　All right.

　　你们让他塞一堆垃圾食品前  记得先跟我说下

　　But let me know if you're going to stuff him with junk food.

　　我可不想帮他打包回一顿美餐

　　I don't want to bring home a nice dinner for him

　　结果只能浪费掉

　　and see it go to waste.

　　我们是去迪斯尼乐园玩

　　We're going to Disneyland.

　　他肯定会吃垃圾食品

　　He's going to eat junk food.

　　我只是说  事先跟我打个招呼

　　All I'm saying is give me a heads-up.

　　好吧  随便吧

　　Okay,whatever.

　　还有别让他吃饱了再去玩太空山

　　And don't let him go on Space Mountain after he eats.

　　他会说没问题  但我敢肯定

　　He'll say he can handle it,but I promise

　　他绝对会把油条都吐你鞋子上

　　you'll end up with churro puke on your shoes.

　　好的  明白  还有什么提醒的吗

　　All right,got it. Is there anything else?

　　有  别让他靠近高飞狗

　　Yeah,don't let Goofy near him.

　　他会噩梦连连  到时候还得我处理

　　He'll have nightmares and I'll have to deal with it.

　　高飞狗有什么问题

　　What's the problem with Goofy?

　　我也想知道  不过让他靠近布鲁托没事

　　Wish I knew. He's fine with Pluto.

　　你觉得《超人总动员》里那个弹力女超人

　　Hey,do you think the elastic woman in The Incredibles

　　需要用避孕套吗  还是她自己就能变成套子

　　needs to use birth control or can she just be a diaphragm?

　　就这样吧

　　Well,that's it.

　　能聊的话题正式都谈完了

　　We're officially out of things to talk about.

　　我们回来了

　　We're home.

　　都晚上十点了  你们去哪了

　　It's 10:00.Where have you been?

　　我们留在那看加州冒险乐园的喷泉秀

　　We stayed for the California Adventure water show.

　　纯粹因为迪斯尼魔力太大

　　It was pure Disney magic.

　　我准备跟他一起去看的

　　I was going to see that with him.

　　那我怎么知道

　　How was I supposed to know that?

　　没事的  我会跟你一起再去看一遍的

　　It's all right. I'll see it again with you.

　　我还帮他带了吃的  你说过你会先打电话的

　　And I have food here. You said you were going to call.

　　我知道是我不好

　　I know,I know.

　　我还吃得下

　　I can still eat.

　　不行  你已经吐过一次了

　　No,you already threw up once.

　　去换上睡衣刷牙

　　Go put on your PJs and brush your teeth.

　　好吧  但你们俩别吵架

　　Okay,but just don't fight

　　-我们没在吵架  -快去

　　- We're not fighting. - Just go.

　　你不谢谢佩妮带你去迪斯尼乐园玩吗

　　Aren't you going to thank Penny for taking you to Disneyland?

　　谢谢你  佩妮

　　Thank you,Penny.

　　不客气  亲爱的

　　You're welcome,sweetie.

　　想来杯咖啡吗

　　Want a cup of coffee?

　　我还是先走吧

　　Oh,um,I should probably get going.

　　好了  就一杯咖啡而已

　　Come on. It's just a cup of coffee.

　　我也觉得这整件事有点扭曲

　　Uh,yeah,the whole thing seems a little twisted to me,too.

　　这是什么气味

　　What am I smelling?

　　谢尔顿吐在我鞋子上的油条

　　Sheldon's churro on my shoes.

　　他睡着的时候  看着真像天使

　　He's such an angel when he's asleep.

　　是啊

　　Yeah.

　　可惜他还会醒来

　　Shame he has to wake up.

　　我觉得我们能做到的

　　I think we can do it.

　　趁谢尔顿睡着时闷死他  那不合适吧

　　Smother Sheldon in his sleep?Wouldn't that be wrong?

　　不  你跟我  做朋友

　　No,be friends. You and me.

　　当然

　　Oh. Sure.

　　绝对没问题

　　Absolutely.

　　很好  我很开心

　　Good. I'm glad.

　　我有个主意  我就随便说说

　　Here's an idea. I'm just throwing it out there:

　　当炮友如何

　　friends who have sex.

　　晚安  莱纳德

　　Good night,Leonard.

　　我开玩笑的

　　Kidding.

　　只是朋友间玩笑打混而已

　　Just a couple of friends Goofing around.

　　不  高飞狗  别

　　No,Goofy,no.