Dear diary,

I couldn't have been more wrong.

I thought that I could smile, nod my way through it.

Pretend like it would all be ok.

I had a plan. I wanted to change who I was.

Create a life as someone new.

Someone without the past.

Without the pain.

Someone alive.

But it's not that easy.

The bad things stay with you.

They follow you.

You can't escape them,

As much as you want to.

All you can do is be ready for the good.

So when it comes. You invite it in, because you need it.

I need it.