李清照《声声慢》英译赏析(二)(在线收听

   例1、满地黄花堆积,憔悴损、而今有谁堪摘?

  林译:Let fallen flowers lie where they fall./ To what purpose/ And for whom should I decorate?
  杨译:Fallen chrysanthemums piled up on the ground,/ So withered,/ Who would pluck them?
  徐译:About the ground, chrysanthemums are bestrewn./ Gathering into heaps-bruised-withering soon. / With myself in utter misery and gloom, / Who cares to save them from their approaching doom?
  许译:The ground is covered with yellow flowers,/ Faded and fallen in showers. / Who will pick them up now?
  解析:1)词人以花喻人,凋零的菊花,散落在地,无人问津。自己也同样如此,山河破碎,身世浮沉,无人怜惜。
  2)“满地黄花堆积”中较为难翻的是“堆积”这个词。林译只是表明花落,并未体现“堆积”二字。徐译虽然将原词意思完整表达出,但言语不够精简。许译的“Faded and fallen in showers”,可谓佳译,十分生动形象。至于”黄花“一词,原文指代黄色菊花,林译“fallen flowers”过于笼统,“chrysanthemum”和“yellow flowers”都可以,但前者个人觉得比较生僻,且发音略微艰涩,用作译文不太符合诗歌朗朗上口的特点,也并非指黄色菊花。
  3)“憔悴损”不仅是菊花凋谢枯萎,也代表词人自己身体瘦弱,面色蜡黄。林译和徐译体现了由物及人的一个转变,但徐译语言略显臃肿。
  例2、守着窗儿,独自怎生得黑?
  林译:By the window shut, / Guarding it alone,/ To see the sky has turned so black!
  杨译:Leaning on the window,/ How can I pass the time till night alone?
  徐译:Standing by the window-watching in anguish stark,/ Could I bear alone the sight until it is dark?
  许译:Sitting alone at the window, how/ Could I but quicken/ The pace of darkness that won’t thicken?
  解析:1)这两句描写出词人孤苦寂寞,连熬到天黑都觉不易。
  2)林译对原词有所误解,一处是“守着窗儿”的守,不应是“guard”作守卫,守护的意思。其他译者的“lean on”,“ stand by”, “sit at”都可以。另一处是后面的“独自怎生得黑”,原词的意思是难以熬到天黑,而不是林译中的“the sky has turned so black”,天色已是一片漆黑。
  3)徐译和许译对后一句动词的处理比较好,选用了“bear”和 “quicken”两个词,生动形象地再现了词人寂寞冷清,度日如年的心态,杨译的“pass”相较则略显平淡。
  例3、梧桐更兼细雨,到黄昏、点点滴滴。
  林译:And the drizzle on the kola nut/ Keeps on droning:/ Pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat!
  杨译:The drizzle falls on the wutong trees, / Raindrops drip down at dusk.
  徐译:Against the tung and plane trees, the wind rises high./ The drizzle becomes trickles, as even draws nigh.
  许译:On plane’s broad leaves a fine rain drizzles/ As twilight grizzles.
  解析:1)雨打梧桐,是中国古典诗词中一个十分典型的文化意象,秋雨淅沥,满绪愁思。此句翻译内容较为容易,但若是传神则较为困难,特别是“点点滴滴”这一拟声词。
  2)许译的“drizzle”, “grizzle”和徐译的“drizzle”, “trickle”都采用了拟声词,保留了原文的意境,且注重押韵,展现原词的音韵美。
  3) 林译更为生动传神。“droning”体现了秋雨单调低沉的声音,而最后的“pit-a-pat, pit-a-pat”拟声词更是神来之笔,不仅富有音乐美,画面感也十分强烈。
  例4、这次第,怎一个愁字了得!
  林译:Is this the kind of mood and moment/ To be expressed / By one word “sad”?
  杨译:At a time like this, / What immense sorrow I must hear!
  徐译:How, in the word “Miserable”, can one find-/ The total effects of all these on the mind!
  许译:Oh, what can I do with a grief/ Beyond belief!
  解析:1)“这次第”总概上文,笔锋急收,“怎一个愁字了得”,情感喷薄而出。愁的不仅是自己的孤苦寂寞,更是国破家亡的痛心疾首。“这次第”三词概括了上述的种种情景,四位译者的译文皆可,但值得一提的是林译“Is this the kind of mood and moment”在表意的同时兼顾押头韵,体现译者深厚的功底。
  2)“愁”字为此句字眼,四位译者对“愁”字的处理各不相同。林译选择“sad”,虽然用引号括出,表明其暗含深意,但仍然略显单薄。杨译选用“immense sorrow”,增加了程度修饰成分体现悲痛的深重。徐译的“Miserable”在体现悲痛的同时,选择使用引号和大写这一方式凸显这一词。许译“a grief beyond belief”对原词进行了一定的转化,特别是后面的“beyond belief”较好体现词人的愁思。
  中国古典诗词的翻译一直比较难以“形神兼备”,在表达最基础的原文意思的同时,还要追求最大程度地再现原文的韵律、文化和风格更是不易。以上四种译文皆是大家译作,可圈可点。古典文学的翻译任重道远,学习和借鉴名家名作是较为常见和可取的方法。
  原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/listen/yyby/403068.html