托福满分作文与低分作文之间的差距(在线收听

   托福满分作文范例:

  However, success depends on many conditions, such as time, hard work and luck. The list goes on and on. As one of the books by Bryan Tracy says, the success consists of 21 secrets. No matter what era one is in, one has to tries one’s best to work at right time at right place with a little luck in order to succeed. If one lives today but does take action,one will end up no where certainly.
  中文翻译:
  但是,成功取决于很多因素,比如是否有时间,是否愿意努力工作,运气是否足够好。这个单子,其实还可以很长很长。就像Bryan Tracy一本书里所说的,成功其实是包含了21个组成部分的。不管在哪一个时代,每一个人要想成功,都必须是在一个正确的时间,正确的地点,外加一点点运气,同时再加上百倍的努力才能成功。因此一个人住在今天这个不利的时代,哪怕付出全部努力,那么他将注定一事无成。
  托福一般作文范例:
  However, There are many factors contributed to success, such as time, work hard, and luck. This list could be very long. Just as a book writed by by Bryan Tracy says that the success involves 21 pieces. If one want to make success, no matter what time it is, they must try their best at the right time, at the right position, but also with a little luck. If a person live in this society, he could not succeed without trying one’s best.
  鉴于今天的文章句式差别极小,因此今天主要分析亮点表达方法。其实如果仅比较优秀范例和平庸范例的用词的话,各位考友会发现差别不大。
  如果仅说亮点词的话,优秀范例这些表达方法不错:condition,goes on and on, secret, but does take action, end up no where。
  condition这个单词超简单,绝对是无人不知的单词。但是在此处,没有用到本意“环境”的意思,而是引申出“条件,因素”这层含义。相比起平庸范例的factor,就显得factor没有文采了!
  再接下来的goes on and on,其实直译过来,就是“走好远好远”,这里也是引申出来,用来表示“很长”的意思。
  第三个就是secret。本身是“秘密”的意思,但是在这里表达“组成因素”,但是同时,成功的特性在于,没成功之前,谁都不知道这些因素什么样子,换句话说,大多阐述自己如何成功的都是事后诸葛,都是恰巧走对了路,仅此而已。因此,从这个层面上来说,因为,这些因素在达成之前,谁都不知道是什么样子,因此,也可以被看做一层“迷”。因此,这里的这个secret,恰好表示出这层含义!虽然简单,但是精妙啊
  第四个的does take action,强调句式,显示出自己语法的丰富性,仅此而已,这种皮毛功夫,在托福考试里只能算是下脚料了。
  至于最后的no where,绝对用的地道!表示“完全不可能”的意思,也就是我们常用的impossible!纯正的地道表达!一用出来,绝对令批卷老师刮目相看!
  原文地址:http://www.tingroom.com/listen/tuofu/404893.html