No, this is not wine. It is DayQuil. With a little bit of last night's wine. 这不是酒，这是感冒药。掺了点昨晚的酒。

My stupid brother caught a cold in Mexico on his honeymoon, and it's made its way through the family. 我那蠢弟弟在墨西哥度蜜月时竟然感冒了，结果还传染给了全家人。

I never get sick. I-I must've caught a chill on the beach when my socks got wet. 我从不生病。肯定是在沙滩上我的袜子湿了所以着了凉。

My ankles burn. It went to my ears on our flight home. 我的脚踝疼得很。坐飞机回家时我的耳朵也开始疼了。

I may have moaned a bit. A crying baby complained about me. 我可能是呻吟了几声。被一个大哭的婴儿投诉说声音太大。

Cam brought me this from Mexico, along with two weeks of bronchitis. I don't know which is worse. 小卡从墨西哥给我带回了这玩意，还害我得了支气管炎病了两周。真不知道哪个更糟糕。

It gave me the vertigo. I was too dizzy for high heels. I had to wear flats. 我被传染了眩晕症。一穿高跟鞋就晕。害我只能穿平底鞋。

I don't know how people can walk in those things. 真不知道别人穿着那种鞋是怎么走路的。

I missed the first two days of culinary camp, so I was hopelessly behind on all reductions and meringues. 我错过了烹饪营前两天的课程，完全跟不上做浓缩醋和蛋白饼的进度。

You can imagine the nicknames. I thought "amuse-douche" was particularly cruel. 试想他们给我起的绰号。我觉得"逗逼"这名字挺伤人的。

I threw up for three straight days. I don't know how models do it. 我连着吐了三天。真不知道模特们是怎么做到的。

Knock 'em dead at the big meeting today, honey. Kiss for good luck? 祝你今天会议成功，亲爱的。来个幸运之吻不？

Oh, no! I'm not getting you sick. This cold stops with me. 不行，我不能害你也生病。这场感冒到我为止。

Why do you think I swapped beds with Luke last night? 不然你以为我昨晚为什么要跟卢克换床睡？

You did? 你换了吗？

Appreciate the back rub. Not sure I love being called "Miss Thang." 非常感谢你的背部按摩。但我可不太喜欢被叫"自以为是小姐"。

No! 不是吧！

Hey, everybody. -Hey, dad. 大家好。－老爸。

Noooo. 不是吧。

Mitch and Cam were stuck for a wedding videographer, so I hooked them up with a friend who shoots infomercials. 米奇和小卡找不到婚礼摄像师，我就帮他们联系了一个拍专题广告的朋友。

He kind of owed me. 算是他欠我的吧。

I can see why you call them "Miracle gloves." My headache's completely gone. 我明白你为什么称之为奇迹手套了。我的头完全不疼了。

He dropped off the video for the big viewing party at Jay and Gloria's tonight, and I decided to preview it. 他把录像给了我，今晚我们会在杰和歌洛莉亚家开观影派对，所以我想提前看看。

What's wrong? 怎么了？

Watch. 你看。

I'm gonna keep it short 'cause I got a tee-time in 10 minutes. 我就长话短说吧，因为再过十分钟就要开球了。

Oh, God. 天哪。

Kind of funny. 说来也巧。

My dad died 25 years ago today. 我父亲死于25年前的今天。

Ew! Right on the cake. 直接喷在蛋糕上了。

I know. Keep watching. 我知道，你接着看。

...nice to replace that sad memory with this happy one. 很高兴能用这一快乐时刻代替那段伤心的记忆。

Don't tell me uncle Mitch drinks it. 别告诉我米奇舅舅喝了。

Of course he does - every drop. 他当然喝了，一滴不剩。

May your first marriage be as goods my second. To the grooms. 愿你的第一次婚姻和我的第二次一样幸福。敬新郎们。

Wait a minute. I take that back. To my sons. 等等，我收回。敬我的儿子们。

Why didn't you just cover your mouth? 你为什么就不能遮住嘴呢？

Oh, I finally did. You know what this means? I'm patient zero. 最后遮住了。你知道这意味着什么吗我才是第一个生病的人。