美国国家公共电台 NPR He, She, They: Workplaces Adjust As Gender Identity Norms Change（在线收听）

STEVE INSKEEP, HOST:

A lot of Americans are using gender pronouns differently. This is pretty simple, or it was in the past - she, he, him, her. But many people are embracing what they see as a more inclusive way of speaking using gender-neutral pronouns, like they and them, for people who are gender nonbinary and don't associate female or male. This is, in fact, changing workplace norms in many places, but that shift can be tricky.

NPR's Yuki Noguchi reports.

YUKI NOGUCHI, BYLINE: As a child, Joshua Byron realized dressing up as Princess Leia was unconventional for a boy. It wasn't until young adulthood that Byron first encountered the concept that someone could identify as something other than male or female. The idea of being gender neutral - or part one, part the other - felt like it fit.

So Byron, who's 24, came out as gender nonbinary to friends three years ago. Byron wanted to be referred to in the third person as they or them, as in, they, meaning Byron, asked their friends to honor their wish. But they didn't feel comfortable asking the same of people at work.

JOSHUA BYRON: I had a very supportive friend group. And then I would sort of go to work, and I would not think about that part of myself.

NOGUCHI: That changed two years ago after Byron applied for a teaching job in New York. A reference outed Byron as nonbinary. The new employer had no problem with it and hired Byron. But being out at work meant fielding endless questions from colleagues - is this really a thing? How can a plural pronoun refer to one person? - as well as more invasive personal inquiries.

BYRON: I think people feel really intense about it. You know, like, especially, who don't understand it feel like, how can this be? How can this be? Or, like, this is breaking some rule.

NOGUCHI: Norms about gender have been changing. Studies show more people, especially young people, identify as something other than male or female.

Some employers are already shifting policies. United Airlines gives customers the option to identify as nonbinary when booking tickets. Retirement company TIAA instructed employees to introduce themselves to clients with their preferred pronouns. The law firm Baker McKenzie earlier this year benchmarked its staffing targets to 40% men, 40% women and 20% flexible, including nonbinary people.

Anna Brown, the firm's director of global diversity and inclusion, says the policy is designed to reflect the shifting demographics.

ANNA BROWN: These are prospective policies. And as we go forward, we know we have nonbinary colleagues.

NOGUCHI: And some workers themselves are making changes, doing things like including their pronouns on business cards and email signatures. That can raise eyebrows. And sometimes, co-workers don't understand what the pronouns are referring to.

Laura Jacobs, a New York psychotherapist, says these changes are new and somewhat rare.

LAURA JACOBS: How to handle nonbinary people is still something that I don't think most employers really have a sense for how to handle.

NOGUCHI: Jacobs counsels many transgender and nonbinary individuals. Personally, Jacobs identifies as both. That's right. Jacobs identifies as either he, she or they. Jacobs says the workplace is still a very gendered place.

JACOBS: Challenging moments that the person has to deal with can start right from the application process.

NOGUCHI: Employment forms, for example, often include only two checkboxes - male or female. References from old jobs might be unaware of a new name or gender identity. And often, Jacobs says, employer health insurance requires a person to choose.

JACOBS: You had to be binary in order to get care. And that that was enforced by the medical community, the legal community and so on.

NOGUCHI: And then there were the inappropriate questions from co-workers.

JACOBS: Everybody wonders what's in our pants.

NOGUCHI: Nowhere does this get more personal than the bathroom. For transgender populations, bathrooms are places associated with uncomfortable staring, harassment and even violence. They've also been at the center of political controversy. Three years ago, North Carolina passed a law requiring people to use bathrooms corresponding to their assigned gender at birth. That law was struck down.

But Mark Marsen says bathrooms remain a hot-button issue for employers and for co-workers who don't feel comfortable sharing bathrooms with transgender people. Marsen is director of human resources at Allies for Health and Wellbeing, a community health clinic. He recently participated in an online discussion with other HR executives about making the workplace gender-neutral.

MARK MARSEN: A good 60, if not more, percent of the conversation was about bathrooms.

NOGUCHI: At the time, Marsen says, he was rethinking his company's restroom policies. In the process, he was also educating himself about the sensitivities of people who are gender nonbinary.

MARSEN: I, quote-unquote, "forced" myself to go into the - what was the women's bathroom, and I realized it doesn't matter.

NOGUCHI: Marsen realized a bathroom is just a bathroom. He ended up relabeling them simply restroom and restroom with urinals. From a worker's perspective, this change can signal acceptance. For Joshua Byron, it's a central emotional issue.

BYRON: Oh, bathrooms, God - yeah, I mean, that's a big one (laughter).

NOGUCHI: Byron's current workplace offers gender-neutral bathrooms but many do not. And for Byron, things like restroom labels and dress codes become a litmus test for how their manager might react, how strictly masculinity might be enforced.

But changing long-held gender paradigms isn't easy. The terms used by nonbinary people can be difficult to understand. In fact, it can be confusing even for people who identify as nonbinary.

Take Mich Dopiro. Dopiro prefers they and them pronouns. But this is where it gets complicated - Dopiro recently met someone who used both female and nonbinary pronouns. Dopiro stumbled in conversation, interchanging they, them, she and her.

MICH DOPIRO: I don't think they took offense, but, like, it was an embarrassing moment for myself.

NOGUCHI: Dopiro is 25 and works as a teacher in Seattle. Among middle school students, Dopiro says gender norms have already changed. One student recently called Dopiro by the wrong pronoun.

DOPIRO: They felt like, oh, this is something that I grew up with that I should know not to mess up.

NOGUCHI: And as young people join the workforce, they will likely keep pushing for workplace culture to change even more. Yuki Noguchi, NPR News, Washington.

(SOUNDBITE OF SOULAR ORDER'S "DOWNFALL")