Unit 39
How Love Endures
It's a year I could never have imagined happening, let alone getting through. A year since I lost the love of my life, the man I expected to be with forever, the man whose face I still long to see when I wake up in the morning. My husband, Rick, was the commander of the space shuttle Columbia. Last February 1 he was supposed to come home to our two kids and me, but instead he went to his eternal home in heaven when the shuttle broke apart in midair over east Texas.
I had admired Rick since high school. He was a year older, popular and good-looking. For some couples, it's love at first sight. For Rick and me, it was love at first date. This guy was special. The evening proved it. There was none of the first-date awkwardness -- not even when he knocked over is water at dinner. I don't remember a think about the movie we went to except for how right it felt to have his arm around me. Neither of except for how right it felt to have his arm around me. Neither of us wanted the night to end. We parked by the lake and talked.
That's when Rick told me about his dream of being an astronaut. He had written to NASA for a list of the requirements: a master's degree in science, math or engineering, a good number of hours as a pilot -- which was why he was going to the Air Force after graduation. I was beyond impressed. We dated all through college and got married on February 27, 1982.
Rick was chosen for US-British test pilot exchange program in 1992. We moved to the English countryside, where our marriage grew to a deeper level with no barriers standing between us. Later Rick applied a fourth time for the space program and got the call from NASA.
In Huston, no matter how tired Rick was after a long day of NASA training, he was 100 percent involved in family at home. There was no sweeter music to me than the sound of our kids laughing with their Dad.
I was anxious at Rick's first shuttle mission, as pilot of the Discovery in 1999. The memory of the Challenger explosion was still clear. The Discovery mission was a success so I was much at ease abut Rick's next trip, as commander of the Columbia, even though the launch date got put off several times. I peacefully watched the shuttle lift off last January 16. Then tow weeks later as the Columbia entered the earth's atmosphere it broke apart. It was like watching my whole life break into pieces and fall from the sky.
This February 27 would have been our 21 wedding anniversary. This last year has seemed very, very ling. Grief seems to bring time to a halt. Yet love never stands still. Love is always going on. There was a voice deep inside me that assured me I would be OK, the same voice that had brought me comfort during the other hard times in my life. I knew I would have the strength to go on, and where that strength would come from. It was love that would save me now. |