At the cleaner's, I noticed the sign "In by 10 a. m. , out by 5 p. m. " so I told the owner that I wanted to pick my clothing up at five. "it won't be ready," he said. "But your sign says, 'In by 10 a...
Matt and his wife lived in the country. Matt was very stingy and hated spending money. One day a fair came to the nearby town. "Let's go to the fair, Matt," his wife said. "We haven't been anywhere fo...
A preacher was asked to give a talk at a local women's health symposium. His wife asked about his topic, but he was too embarrassed to admit that he had been asked to speak about sex. Thinking quickly...
At the supermarket I noticed an elderly man who seemed to be following me wherever I went. As I moved to each aisle, there he was, smiling at me. Now I was wondering if he was interested in me. At the...
Simon was an inveterate fisherman, well known for exaggerating the size of "the one that got away". But there came a day when he actually caught two enormous flounders. He immediately invited a few fr...
I had fallen and dislocated my elbow, which made writing checks for my small business nearly impossible. I called my bank to explain that the signature on my checks would look odd due to my accident,...
One stupid guy reads an ad about a vacation cruise that costs only $ 100.After he signs up and pays, the travel agent hits him with a bat, knocks him unconscious and throws him out the back door into...
A guy spots his doctor in the mall. He stops him and says, "Six weeks ago when I was in your office, you told me to go home, get into bed and stay there until you called. But you never called. " "I di...
A Japanese company and an American company had a boat race, the Japanese won by a mile. The Americans hired analysts to figure out what went wrong. They reported that the Japanese had one person manag...
My infant daughter began crying as I drove home from the store, and since she was harnessed to her safety seat in the back, I couldn't console her. Stopping for a red light, I turned around and waved...
