Andy: What did you do last weekend? Yuka: I went to Jamals wedding. Andy: Jamal?! Your ex Jamal? Yuka: Yes, that Jamal. Andy: He had the nerve to invite you to his wedding? Yuka: I actually thought it was nice of him to invite me. Whatever happened b...
Christine: What is this sticker on your drivers license? Saul: This sticker? It indicates that Ive signed up for the organ donation program. If anything bad happens to me, I want my organs to go to recipients who need them. Christine: You mean you wa...
I was walking down the street minding my own business one evening when I was stopped by a police officer. After asking me a couple of questions about where Id been, he told me to put my hands behind my back. He was going to arrest me! He handcuffed m...
Our company brought in a consultant to do sales training for our store. For some reason, wed been getting some complaints from customers. Consultant: My job in this training is to help your store improve its customer satisfaction, so that it can attr...
The apartment manager asked all of the tenants to come to a short meeting to learn about fire safety. I didnt want to go, but the manager said that there would be free food, and who am I to turn down free pizza? ... Apartment manager: Thank you all f...
Andrea: What are you doing? Stephanie: Im coming up with a list of Christmas carols to sing when we go caroling. Andrea: Can I come? Stephanie: Uh, I dont think... Andrea: What? You dont think I can sing in tune? Stephanie: No, its not that... Andrea...
Ivy: This is so sad! Stephan: What is? Ivy: Im reading the obituary for one of my favorite actors as a child, Mr. McBoo. He had quite a life. Stephan: Oh, yeah? Ivy: Yeah, and this article has really done him justice. Its a nice tribute to a man who...
Tony: The plant manager says that youre the new kid. Amber: Yes, its my first day. Tony: All right, youll be a line worker like the rest of us. Heres your workstation. What you have to remember is that output and productivity are the most important t...
Im looking to buy a house and I want a single-family home. I have been living in a townhouse for two years and I am tired of having common walls and very small yards. My new house will have to have a lot more square footage, a large lot size, an open...
Connie: You speak McQuillanese. Ask the store owner the price of this vase. Ivan: All right. He says its $60. Connie: Thats actually a great price, but lets see if I can talk him down a little. You should never accept the starting price and the price...
