A man was complaining to a railroad engineer. What's the use of having a train schedule if the trains are always late. The railroad engineer replied. How would we know they were late, if we didn't have a schedule?...
A: Just look at that young person with the short hair and blue jeans. Is it a boy or a girl? B: It's a girl. She's my daughter. A: Oh, I'm sorry, sir. I didn't know that you were her father. B: I'm not. I'm her mother....
monk = a religious man who spends much time praying and thinking about religion. monastery = a place where monks live. a vow of silence = a promise not to speak A man wanted to become a monk so he went to the monastery and talked to the head monk. Th...
A teacher is talking to a student. Teacher: Did your father help you with your homework? Student: No, he did it all by himself. On a crowded bus, one man noticed that another man had his eyes closed. What's the matter? Are you sick? No, I'm okay. It'...
The patient says, Doctor, I have a pain in my eye whenever I drink tea. The doctor says, Take the spoon out of the mug before you drink. mug = cup The patient says, Doctor, you've got to help me. Nobody ever listens to me. No one ever pays any attent...
Two factory workers are talking. The woman says, I can make the boss give me the day off. The man replies, And how would you do that? The woman says, Just wait and see. She then hangs upside-down from the ceiling. The boss comes in and says, What are...
Did you hear about the blind carpenter who picked up his hammer and saw? Did you hear about the deaf shepherd who gathered his flock and heard (herd)? If you don't understand these, use your dictionary and look up the words blind, deaf, saw, heard an...
Before the final examination, Tom told his mother, Mom, I had a dream last night that I'd passed today's exam. Don't trust dreams, dear. It is said what you experience in dreams usually turns out to be the opposite. Mother replied. Then I do hope I'l...
Three pastors in the south were having lunch in a diner. One said, You know, since summer started Ive been having trouble with bats in my loft（阁楼） and attic at church. Ive tried everything----noise, spray, cats----nothing seems to scare them...
Two mayors made a bet on the outcome of the Vegetable Bowl, the annual football game between their high school teams. If Arvada's team lost, the mayor of Arvada would send the mayor of Boulder ten pounds of sliced potatoes, ready for frying. If Bould...
