访谈录 2009-06-29&07-02 如何跟问题男/女接触

Who doesn’t have a difficult colleague friend or family member?

My sister was that at one time I mean she was crazy.

It’s very difficult to put up with them.

The bad news oftentimes you are forced to interact with these people on a daily basis and they could have a personality disorder¹ but the good news is there are simple ways you can learn to deal with their behaviors.

A person with a paranoid personality someone who is very much preoccupied² with the loyalty³ of other people. It is a person who constantly scans the environment and other people looking for possible indications or signs of some sort of deception⁴.

The solution doctor Twardon suggests: stick to conversation topics that are safe and not too personal, avoid any signs of criticisms or attack and refrain from using language that is patronizing or condescending⁵.

A narcissistic⁶ person really believes that she is better than you essentially⁷ and that because I’m another person I’m better than you. I’m entitled to expect you to do things for me. I’m entitled to be focused exclusively on my own needs and kind of disregard yours.

So how do you deal with those ego⁸ maniacs⁹? Don’t be defensive¹⁰ with this person. It could trigger a fight and try to make yourself an important part of his or her world in order to keep up the relationship.

That is essentially a person who is dealing¹¹ with a lot of internal, call it security or internal anxiety and internal conflicts and the way of resolving internal conflicts is by organizing the external environment.

Doctor Twardon is talking about obsessive¹² compulsive disorder which can make others jumpy. Try acknowledging their hard work with compliments. Compromise with them when possible and also avoid conflict. And doctor Twardon reminds us we all have a little bit of these personalities¹³ in ourselves so treat others as you would like to be treated.

 

1 disorder   

n.紊乱，混乱；骚动，骚乱；疾病，失调

参考例句：

• When returning back,he discovered the room to be in disorder.回家后，他发现屋子里乱七八糟。
• It contained a vast number of letters in great disorder.里面七零八落地装着许多信件。

2 preoccupied   

adj.全神贯注的，入神的；被抢先占有的；心事重重的v.占据（某人）思想，使对…全神贯注，使专心于( preoccupy的过去式)

参考例句：

• He was too preoccupied with his own thoughts to notice anything wrong. 他只顾想着心事，没注意到有什么不对。
• The question of going to the Mount Tai preoccupied his mind. 去游泰山的问题盘踞在他心头。 来自《简明英汉词典》

3 loyalty   

n.忠诚，忠心

参考例句：

• She told him the truth from a sense of loyalty.她告诉他真相是出于忠诚。
• His loyalty to his friends was never in doubt.他对朋友的一片忠心从来没受到怀疑。

4 deception   

n.欺骗，欺诈；骗局，诡计

参考例句：

• He admitted conspiring to obtain property by deception.他承认曾与人合谋骗取财产。
• He was jailed for two years for fraud and deception.他因为诈骗和欺诈入狱服刑两年。

5 condescending   

adj.谦逊的,故意屈尊的

参考例句：

• He has a condescending attitude towards women. 他对女性总是居高临下。
• He tends to adopt a condescending manner when talking to young women. 和年轻女子说话时，他喜欢摆出一副高高在上的姿态。

6 narcissistic   

adj.自我陶醉的，自恋的，自我崇拜的

参考例句：

• In the modern vocabulary, it was narcissistic. 用时髦话说，这是一种自我陶醉狂。 来自辞典例句
• This is our Nielaoshi, a dwarf has also grown narcissistic teachers. 这就是我们的倪老师，一个长得又矮又自恋的老师。 来自互联网

7 essentially   

adv.本质上，实质上，基本上

参考例句：

• Really great men are essentially modest.真正的伟人大都很谦虚。
• She is an essentially selfish person.她本质上是个自私自利的人。

8 ego   

n.自我，自己，自尊

参考例句：

• He is absolute ego in all thing.在所有的事情上他都绝对自我。
• She has been on an ego trip since she sang on television.她上电视台唱过歌之后就一直自吹自擂。

9 maniacs   

n.疯子（maniac的复数形式）

参考例句：

• Hollywood films misrepresented us as drunks, maniacs and murderers. 好莱坞电影把我们歪曲成酒鬼、疯子和杀人凶手。 来自辞典例句
• They're not irrational, potentially homicidal maniacs, to start! 他们不是非理性的，或者有杀人倾向的什么人！ 来自电影对白

10 defensive   

adj.防御的；防卫的；防守的

参考例句：

• Their questions about the money put her on the defensive.他们问到钱的问题，使她警觉起来。
• The Government hastily organized defensive measures against the raids.政府急忙布置了防卫措施抵御空袭。

11 dealing   

n.经商方法，待人态度

参考例句：

• This store has an excellent reputation for fair dealing.该商店因买卖公道而享有极高的声誉。
• His fair dealing earned our confidence.他的诚实的行为获得我们的信任。

12 obsessive   

adj. 着迷的, 强迫性的, 分神的

参考例句：

• Some people are obsessive about cleanliness.有些人有洁癖。
• He's becoming more and more obsessive about punctuality.他对守时要求越来越过分了。

13 personalities   

n. 诽谤，（对某人容貌、性格等所进行的）人身攻击； 人身攻击；人格, 个性, 名人( personality的名词复数 )

参考例句：

• There seemed to be a degree of personalities in her remarks.她话里有些人身攻击的成分。
• Personalities are not in good taste in general conversation.在一般的谈话中诽谤他人是不高尚的。