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32.

From Shawbury I moved on to Middle Wallop. I now knew how to fly a helicopter, the Armyconceded, but next I needed to learn how to fly one tactically. While doing other things. Manyother things. Like reading a map and locating a target and firing missiles and talking on the radiosand peeing into a bag. Multitasking in the air at 140 knots—not for everyone. To accomplish thisJedi mind trick, my brain would first need to be reshaped, my synapses¹ rewired, and my Yoda inthis massive neuro-reengineering would be Nigel.

A.k.a. Nige.

It was he who drew the unenviable task of becoming my fourth, and arguably most important,flight instructor².

The aircraft on which we’d be conducting our sessions was the Squirrel. That was thecolloquial name for the little French-made single-engine helicopter on which most British studentstrained. But Nige was less focused on the actual Squirrel in which we sat than the squirrels insidemy head. Head squirrels were the ancient enemies of human concentration, Nige assured me.

Without my being aware of it they’d taken up residence in my consciousness. More devious³ thanthe hover⁴ monkeys, he said, they were also far more dangerous.

The only way to get rid of head squirrels, Nige insisted, was iron discipline. A helicopter iseasily mastered, but the head takes more time and more patience.

Time and patience, I thought impatiently. I don’t have much of either, Nige, so let’s crackon…

It also takes a kind of self-love, Nige said, and this manifests as confidence. Confidence,Lieutenant⁵ Wales. Believe in yourself—that’s everything.

I saw the truth in his words, but I couldn’t imagine ever putting that truth into practice. Thefact was, I didn’t believe in myself, didn’t believe in much of anything, least of all me. Whenever Imade a mistake, which was often, I was quite harsh with Harry⁶. It felt as if my mind were seizingup like an overheated engine, the red mist would come down, and I’d stop thinking, stopfunctioning.

No, Nige would say softly whenever this happened. Don’t let one mistake destroy this flight,Lieutenant Wales.

But I let one mistake ruin many a flight.

Sometimes my self-loathing would spill onto Nige. After having a go at me, I’d have a go athim. Fuck it, you fly the damn thing!

He’d shake his head. Lieutenant Wales, I’m not touching⁷ the controls. We are going to getdown on the ground and you’re going to get us there and then we’ll talk about it all afterwards.

He had a herculean will. You’d never have guessed it from his appearance. Average height,average build, steel-gray hair combed neatly⁸ to one side. He wore spotless green overalls⁹, spotlessclear spectacles. He was a Navy civvie, a kindly¹⁰ grandpa who loved sailing—a top bloke. But hehad the heart of a fucking ninja.

And at that moment I needed a ninja.

 

1 synapses   

n.（神经元的）突触( synapse的名词复数 )；染色体结合( synapsis的名词复数 )；联会；突触；（神经元的）触处

参考例句：

• Nerve cells communicate with one another at the synapses, where their membranes almost touch. 神经细胞在突触部位彼此沟通，在这里它们的膜几乎接触到一起了。 来自辞典例句
• Glutamatergic synapses are common excitatory chemical connections in mammalian central nervous system. 谷氨酸性突触是哺乳动物神经系统的主要兴奋性突触。 来自互联网

2 instructor   

n.指导者，教员，教练

参考例句：

• The college jumped him from instructor to full professor.大学突然把他从讲师提升为正教授。
• The skiing instructor was a tall,sunburnt man.滑雪教练是一个高高个子晒得黑黑的男子。

3 devious   

adj.不坦率的，狡猾的；迂回的，曲折的

参考例句：

• Susan is a devious person and we can't depend on her.苏姗是个狡猾的人，我们不能依赖她。
• He is a man who achieves success by devious means.他这个人通过不正当手段获取成功。

4 hover   

vi.翱翔，盘旋；徘徊；彷徨，犹豫

参考例句：

• You don't hover round the table.你不要围着桌子走来走去。
• A plane is hover on our house.有一架飞机在我们的房子上盘旋。

5 lieutenant   

n.陆军中尉，海军上尉；代理官员，副职官员

参考例句：

• He was promoted to be a lieutenant in the army.他被提升为陆军中尉。
• He prevailed on the lieutenant to send in a short note.他说动那个副官，递上了一张简短的便条进去。

6 harry   

vt.掠夺，蹂躏，使苦恼

参考例句：

• Today,people feel more hurried and harried.今天，人们感到更加忙碌和苦恼。
• Obama harried business by Healthcare Reform plan.奥巴马用医改掠夺了商界。

7 touching   

adj.动人的，使人感伤的

参考例句：

• It was a touching sight.这是一幅动人的景象。
• His letter was touching.他的信很感人。

8 neatly   

adv.整洁地，干净地，灵巧地，熟练地

参考例句：

• Sailors know how to wind up a long rope neatly.水手们知道怎样把一条大绳利落地缠好。
• The child's dress is neatly gathered at the neck.那孩子的衣服在领口处打着整齐的皱褶。

9 overalls   

n.（复）工装裤；长罩衣

参考例句：

• He is in overalls today.他今天穿的是工作裤。
• He changed his overalls for a suit.他脱下工装裤，换上了一套西服。

10 kindly   

adj.和蔼的，温和的，爽快的；adv.温和地，亲切地

参考例句：

• Her neighbours spoke of her as kindly and hospitable.她的邻居都说她和蔼可亲、热情好客。
• A shadow passed over the kindly face of the old woman.一道阴影掠过老太太慈祥的面孔。