Top 91 Ways To Be Annoying
时间：2013-03-19 01:17:33
（单词翻译:单击）
1.Adjust the tint1 on your tv so that all the people are green, and insist to
others that you "like it that way".
2.Drum on every available surface.
4.
Staple3 papers in the middle of the page.
5.Ask 1-800 operators for dates.
7.Sew anti-theft
detector7 strips into people's backpacks.
9.Write the surprise ending to a novel on its first page.
10.
Specify9 that your drive-through order is "to go".
12.Learn Morse code, and have conversations with friends in public entirely
of "Beeeep Bip Bip Beeeep Bip..."
13.Buy large quantities of mint dental floss just to lick the flavor off.
14.Order a side of pork rinds with your
filet11 mignon.
15.Instead of Gallo, serve Night Train next Thanksgiving.
16.Leave your Nine Inch Nails tape in Great Uncle Ed's stereo, with the
volume properly adjusted.
17.Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a "
croaking12" noise.
18.
Honk13 and wave to strangers.
19.Dress only in clothes colored Hunter's Orange.
20.Change channels five minutes before the end of every show.
21.Tape pieces of "Sweating to the Oldies" over climactic parts of rental
movies.
23.Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complementary
mints by the cash register.
24.Begin all your sentences with "ooh la la!"
25.Rouse your roommates from
slumber15 each morning with Lou Reed's "Metal
Machine Music".
26.Leave someone's printer in compressed-italic-cyrillic-landscape mode.
27.ONLY TYPE IN UPPERCASE. only type in lowercase. dont use any
punctuation17 either
28.Buy a large quantity of orange traffic
cones18 and reroute whole streets.
29.Pay for your dinner with pennies.
30.Tie
jingle19 bells to all your clothes.
31.Repeat everything someone says, as a question.
32.Write "X - BURIED TREASURE" in random spots on all of someone's roadmaps.
33.Inform everyone you meet of your personal Kennedy assassination/UFO/ OJ
34.Repeat the following conversation a dozen times: "Do you hear that?"
"What?" "Never mind, it's gone now."
35.Light road
flares21 on a birthday cake.
36.Wander around the restaurant, asking other diners for their parsley.
37.Leave tips in Bolivian currency.
38.Demand that everyone address you as "Conquistador".
39.Push all the flat Lego pieces together tightly.
40.At the laundromat, use one
dryer22 for each of your socks.
41.When Christmas caroling, sing "Jingle Bells, Batman smells" until
42.Wear a
cape16 that says "Magnificent One".
43.As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
44.Stand over someone's shoulder,
mumbling24, as they read.
45.Finish the 99 bottles of beer song.
46.Sing the "This is the song that never ends..." song.
47.Leave your turn signal on for fifty miles.
48.Pretend your mouse is a CB radio, and talk to it.
49.Try playing the William Tell
Overture25 by tapping on the bottom of your
chin. When nearly done, announce "no, wait, I messed it up", and repeat.
50.Drive half a block.
51.Name your dog "Dog".
52.Inform others that they exist only in your imagination.
54.Reply to everything someone says with "that's what YOU think."
55.Lick the filling out of all the Oreos, and place the cookie parts back in
the tray.
56.Cultivate a Norwegian accent. If Norwegian, affect a Southern Drawl.
57.Forget the
punchline27 to a long joke, but tell the listener it was a "real
58.Routinely handcuff yourself to furniture, informing the curious that you
don't want to fall off "in case the big one comes".
59.Follow a few paces behind someone, spraying everything they touch with a
can of Lysol.
h as "Feliz Navidad", the Archies' "Sugar" or the Mr. Rogers theme song.
61.While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
62.Lie obviously about trivial things such as the time of day.
63.Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
64.Leave your Christmas lights up and lit until September.
65.Change your name to John Aaaaasmith for the great glory of being first in
the phone book. Claim it's a Hawaiian name, and demand that people pronounce
each A.
66.Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if
they slow down.
67.Chew on pens that you've borrowed.
68.Invent nonsense computer
jargon31 in conversations, and see if people play
along to avoid the appearance of ignorance.
69.Wear a LOT of cologne.
71.Listen to 33 rpm records at 45 rpm speed, and claim the faster speed is
necessary because of your "superior mental processing".
72.Sing along at the opera.
73.
Mow33 your lawn with scissors.
74.At a golf tournament, chant "swing-batatatatatata-suhWING-batter!"
75.Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with
prophesy34".
76.Ask the waitress for an extra seat for your "imaginary friend".
77.Go to a poetry
recital35 and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
78.Ask your co-workers mysterious questions, and
scribble36 their answers in a
notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles".
79.Incessantly recite annoying phrases, such as "sticky wicket isn't
cricket."
80.Stare at static on the TV and claim you can see a "magic picture".
81.Select the same song on the jukebox fifty times.
82.
Scuff37 your feet on a dry, shaggy carpet and seek out victims.
83.Do not add any inflection to the end of your sentences, producing awkward
silences with the impression that you'll be saying more any moment.
84.Never make eye contact. Never break eye contact.
85.Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears.
86.Construct elaborate "crop circles" in your front lawn.
87.Construct your own pretend "tricorder";"scan" people with it, announcing
the results.
88.Give a play-by-play account of a person's every action in a nasal Howard
Cossell voice.
89.Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
90.Make appointments for the 31st of September.
91.Invite lots of people to other people's parties.
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